CalebsPregnancy

The Birth...

Well I am not sure were to begin to describe the whole experience? We arrived early on the morning of Friday 21st March and were greated by a nurse saying "good morning, you are here to have your baby today aren't you!" Wow....last minute reality check there :o)

After being admitted and going through the pre-surgical checks we were told we were due to go in about 11.00am.

When it came time to wheel us off Simon was initially seperated from me while I was given the epidural and had cannula's inserted for a drip etc. I was pretty nervous about the epidural but it wasn't half as bad as I had feared. They had me sit on the side of the bed, hunched over a pillow (as best as you can hunch with a big bump in the road). After squeezing really hard on my ribs and back to find the right place they swabbed it with cold preperation then administered the local aneasthetic which they described as a 'sharp prick then a bee sting'.....hmmm well the prick was fine but it felt a bit more like a swarm of bee's I can tell you *wink*. Anyway after the numbing sensation began to spread they inserted the epidural needle. The only sensation was a scratching on bone type sound and feeling within your back but no pain associated. Then an incredibal warmth spread down my legs and they felt like they weighed a tonne each when I went to lay back on the bed.

I was then wheeled into the theatre and transferred to the table and set up for the procedure. It was the weirdest sensation not to be able to move my legs yet feel myself moved around. I tried my hardest to wiggle my toes but it was impossible...I guess it's a glimmer of insight into what paralysis must feel like? Anyway they then had to insert a cannula and when that was in and the screen was placed in front of my face Simon was allowed in...all gowned and masked up! The screen was much closer to my face and much higher then I had expected so there was certainly no seeing anything by mistake. An oxygen mask on my face made talking a little difficult but basically Simon and I just spoke and waited from then for our baby to arrive.

I could feel pulling and prodding in my tummy region then some almighty weighted pushing on my upper abdomen as they basically pushed him down and out of the incision (not pulled him out as I had imagined). We were a little dissapointed that after hearing his first cries (at 12.38pm) he was whisked off for his apgar testing etc without even a quick glance for us. It was so emotional yet removed to lie there finally hearing our baby cry but not seeing him, just looking in amazement at each other.

Finally after what seemed like forever they appeared behind the screen with a little bundle tightly swaddled and held him upside down right beside my cheek so that I really couldn't focus that well or make out much of what I was seeing. Before I knew it, it was then time for him and Simon to be whisked away to the nursery while I was stitched and finished up.

Those 20 or so minutes felt like an eternity while I lay there alone, while staff worked and chatted behind the screen and paid no attention to me (except for the odd face popping over saying..congratulations). I lay there thinking the entire experience was soo surreal that I wasn't sure if I had even just had a baby???

Overall it was a little clinical and certainly not what most expectant mothers expect of their birth experience... but ultimately ended with the perfect conclusion. Our son Caleb Lyle was born weighing 3kg 560g or 7lb 14 oz (yes I know....not the big baby as predicted!!!).

After a half hour in recovery I was finally ready to return to the ward but was unable to for another 30 minutes because there was not not staff available to collect me. I was really frustrated by this as it was important for me to be able to feed within the first hour as recommened to maximise my chances of breastfeeding success.

As it was I was finally able to return to the ward about 2.15 and around 2.30pm Simon finally wheeled in my baby for me to see and hold. A nurse somewhat abruptly plonked him on my chest and that was that. He was so little and his eyes so big and he had sooo much hair on his head :o) Due to the c-section birth he was a little fluidy in his lungs and breathing and so could only stay a little while before being returned to the special care nursery. He spent the afternoon in there then was finally returned to room in with my from that evening.

The Hospital Stay

The breast feeding thing was difficult as I had feared. Not only did I have no real milk to speak of (30minutes of painful hand milking by overzealous nurses only produced like 3 or 4 drops of collostrum...which they thought was good mind you! I was like you put me through that for 3 or 4 drops!!!!) but also he had difficulty in attaching too. As it turned out he had to be supplimented with formula and my slowly increasing breast milk right up until the Sunday evening. This created a lot of guilt and anxiety for me and I was very upset that I was not able to exlusively breast feed as I had wanted. Not to mention those famed baby blues...I was such a tearful mess for about day 3 - 7 or so. Very sorry sight I was at times *wink* On one particular night I was so tearful that Simon suprised me by visiting the ward at 2.30am when a feed was due just to give me extra moral support....how sweet is he?! :o)

However by the Monday we finally had it. My milk had finally arrived and he had mastered the art of breastfeeding and I could say goodbye to the expressing machine (much better than by hand I might add) and finally think about going home. The staff began to offer me discharge from the Sunday but I declined until I at least had milk and was feeding properly. I know they are all for early discharge but that is ridiculous!

So on Tuesday morning, March 25th, (9years to the day since Simon and I became engaged!) we brought home our little boy to start our family life.

The first week home

Well after going on a cleaning spree throughout my house while I was in hopsital my mother in law continued to stay with us for 8 days after our return home....thank you Rhonda!! She cooked and cleaned and offered advice when I became completely neurotic that I was doing it all wrong *wink*. She kept Simon company while I slept all the time and she was just good all round support and I don't know how I would have managed without her?

The friday after we got home was particularly bad as we had the circumcision appointment. Bub handled it much better then mum as I was a complete wreck...crying the whole 30min drive there and blubbering in front of the doctor too. And when we had to leave the room for 10mins while it was done I went across the road and just balled *blush*. It wasn't that I didn't want it done anymore...it was just that once he was here the thought of doing him any harm was more then I could bear. In any case it all went smoothly and we go back this Friday to have the little ring removed and it will all be over.

As for everything else, we couldn't wish for a more contented little boy. He hardly ever cries...feeds 3hrly like clockwork during the day (sometimes I have to wake him for these other times he lets us know he is awake and ready). Overnight we let him go longer if he sleeps but I still wake him if he hasn't woken himself after about 4.5hrs. The middle of the night feeds are a surreal time when the house sleeps and it's just me and him up, snuggled in a chair having quiet time together!

We have taken a thousand pictures....some of which I will post today. Both Simon and I just love him to pieces and like all parents are sure that he is just the cutest little bubby in the world :o)))

We had 3 visits from the midwife at home as part of the early discharge program and next week we will have our first visit down at the community health centre. I am also going to join a new parent group that is being run there next month and teaches things like baby massage, info on sleep routines, settling and solids etc as well as offering a chance to meet other new mums.

I am really happy that all my pre-reading has payed off and we have been able to settle down into a routine so easily. He is able to settle himself to sleep without such traps as rocking or drives in cars etc and he loves time with us in the bouncinette in the evening. Daddy does a nightly bath (which he is gradually screaming less and less during *wink*....baby that is!) and also reads him nursery rhymes each night.

My recovery has been so much better than I had feared. I was up and about the next day, only needing panadol for the first 3 days and havent looked back since. The incision is healing nicely and I am able to move around quite freely and painlessly.

I hope to keep this journal going at regular intervals for those who want to continue the journey....probably weekly entries and plenty of photo's. For those that have heard enough drivvle from me feel free to let me know and I will take you off the update list....no offence taken.

For those who arrived at this website from my Weight Loss website... I will be getting back into that one soon and will keep you all posted. Speaking of which I have already lost 11kg of the 17kg that I put on in less than 2 wks after the birth..........bloody amazing!!!

Anyway better post some photo's now before next feed time!

Will be in touch.

Week 37-38

Well hold on to your seats ladies and gentlemen because this entry is likely to be a long one :o)

Last week ended fairly peacefully. Simon and I went out to a local steak and seafood restaurant for dinner on Saturday night then hired out some videos to make the most of what could potentially be our last baby free weekend. And as things turned out it was just as well that we did. But don't let me get ahead of myself here... where was I?

Oh yes, on Sunday as planned we visited the ward for the usual checks etc and despite my blood pressure being pretty good they increased the frequency of my checks to daily visits until Wednesdays clinic...great!

Monday we went for our ultrasound as planned. After chatting away to the sonographer we almost forgot to ask just how big this baby was going to be. His response was 'actually I wasn't going to tell you that'!!! Gulp! Turns out baby was estimated to be 9-10lb on that day (monday) and still with time to grow! Oh My!

We then had all night to ponder what this would mean for us and whether or not I felt capable of delivering a baby of that size the normal way. To be honest I felt like my confidence in that regard had been robbed by the weeks of being told how 'big' this baby was going to be etc. This confirmation of size put me into quite a spin and that, plus no doubt the surging hormones, ensured a tearful week thus far.

Tuesday, while at the ward for my daily check, I was given the final crunch. Decide between an induction of natural labour next Monday (24/03) or a cesarean section next friday (28/03). Go home and think it over for 24hrs then come back with our decision. I felt in no way emotionally equipped to deal with such a decision. We agonised over the pro's and con's of each alternative. Of course the worst case scenario of complications that the doctor's present would give anyone cause for concern. While either option is equally as safe for baby the c-section held significant risks for me ranging from coma's, blood transfusions,colostomy bag's, right up to a hysterectomy....jesus! Anyway after a lot of reading, phoning family and friends and talking back and forth we finally decided on the ceaser option. While it is certainly not as we had planned or envisaged our birth experience to be, it seemed more sensible then attempting the natural (and no doubt horrific) labour only to risk an emergency ceaser at the last minute. Because if the emergency cesear were to occur then Simon wouldn't be able to attend it and I would run the risk of being under a general aneasthetic and thus miss it too...where as for the planned one we both get to share in the moment, together and awake. At least this way we knew what we were in for, it presented minimal strain on the baby and we could just get on with the business of looking forward to next week. At least that is what we thought.

Today we went back for our Doctor's clinic visit and had to see the Consultant with our decision made. We asked his advice on the matter and after he too recommended the cesear we agreed that was what we had decided on. Then comes the clanger....the operation will be booked for Friday. But not next Friday.....this Friday, the 21st March....the day after tomorrow!!!!!!

Simon was most pleased with the news. I on the other hand held it together long enough to ask all the right questions, smile at all the chit chat then completely loose it as soon as I was out of the door! (God... enough of these hormones already!!). Two days away...but I had so much to do and organise before then, housework, cleaning fish tanks, grocery shopping, washing, packing etc etc etc. And then if I cleared this mind clutter long enough to consider the fears and risks associated with the surgery it brought on a new onslaught of tears (even though he said the most likely potential risk was poor wound healing in my case, and not to be too concerned with the scarier possibilities). But then there was the good part....we were about to meet our baby at last!!

Such conflicting emotions and anticipations! Hence why I have got up from bed at 11pm at night to write this journal entry....who was I kidding thinking I could get to sleep??

I am now dealing with the reality that I will not experience the birth I had imagined. I won't know what it is like for my water's to break, to feel a contraction, to do the middle of the night dash to the hospital...to feel my most private parts split in two...(hehehe yep I can do without that one!!). But at the end of the day the method of transport is hardly as important as getting to our final destination. This time in two days time we will be holding our baby that was 5 and a half years in the making. Pondering our future's and probably feeling grateful that we escaped the more negative aspects of childbirth.

Sure I will have abdominal stitches to deal with and no doubt the pain associaed with them. Sure I will have to wait till next time round to perhaps experience the natural childbirth routine...but we will still be parents :o) And despite how miserable, stress filled and uncomfortable these last 2 or 3 wks have been I am also a little sad that this is all coming to an end. I have grown used to my insides moving around of their own accord. I have grown quite accustomed to my permanent companion in the world...who literally goes everywhere with me and always reminds me of their presence when I least expect it. I have grown used to people asking about my bump, when it is due and what names I have chosen. After nine long months it is now time for it all to come to an end. And time for our new beginning.

So this will be my last journal entry as an expectant first time mom. I imagine there will be some delay before I can get back to update you all of the birth and post my first baby pics. I have though created an email of announcement that Simon will forward to everyone once the event has occured.

For those of you who have followed my journey every step of the way...I thank you! For those of you just starting you own (you know who you are 'M') I look forward to sharing it with you. And to all of you who have offered support and advice along the way...we couldnt have got through this without you.

So I'll sign off for now and try to get some much needed sleep while I still can. I will be in touch. Think of us on Friday morning, March 21st 2003 and know that somewhere in these war torn times a little miracle is entering the world.

:o)

Week 36-37

Well so much for the quiet week I had hoped for. I went up to the hospital on Sunday as planned to have my BPchecked and the news was not good! It was up to 150/94 and I had a return of nausea so they admitted me to hospital. I only had to stay 24hrs thank god! They repeated blood tests, monitored BP, repeated CTG scans on the baby and collected a 24hr urine sample to monitor the amount of protein being excreted by my kidneys as a result of the high blood pressure. In some ways it was good to get to know some of the nurses and my way around the place, not to mention the fact that I have now had my first ever overnight hospital stay! I lucked out and got a single room which was nice and spent the time reading, watching my tv and generally relaxing. And don't let anyone tell you anything bad about hospital food....the fact that it is delivered to you in bed could make anything taste good but regardless of that it was really quite yummo! While I didn't get much sleep the sounds of newborns crying in surrounding rooms was certainly surreal.

The following morning my friend arrived for her induction as planned so then at least we had each other to keep company. After an 18hr labour she gave birth to a tiny boy named Jordyn James who weighed 5lb 8oz. She managed it with only pethidine and luckily no stitches which was great. Although small he seemed to be doing ok but today has been moved into special care nursery as he is not feeding, has low temperature and very low blood sugar levels. They are considering inserting a naso-gastric tube at present to get his weight up while causing minimal exertion for him. Mum and Dad are understandably stressed about it all but after no end of problems during the pregnancy itself I think they are actually getting used to this little fellow giving them grief :o) In any case we are all hoping for a speedy recovery for him at this stage.

I have continued to monitor my BP at home and was able to return my hired machine as a work mate of Simon's actually lent us their identical one and said we could hang onto it until baby arrives so that was really sweet. It has remained a little elevated and I have had on and off nausea, headaches and blurred vision since discharge monday afternoon.

Yesterday (Tuesday) I had my GP visit and she clocked my BP at 130/90 so things are still not looking good in that regard. As I have an antenatal doctor's appointment this afternoon she left things be for now but encouraged me to go to the hospital immediately if any concerns arrised. She said that she doubts they will let me get passed week 37 or 38 the way things are going. And in fact while I was in hospital the Doctor said I wouldnt be allowed to go past my due date at the longest so it sounds like this little baby will be coming sooner rather than later. The GP also says that she believes I have a good chance of a c-section now too so I am going to ask more about all these things this afternoon at my appointment. I also want to ask about the size thing...since everybody keeps saying this baby is going to be big I want to know how they make sure baby is not TOO big for my pelvis before they let me go through hours of needless labour. The baby has not engaged yet and the GP says that if this hasn't occured when it is time then this may be sign enough that I will need to go the c-section route. So many questions to have answered today! I will update the answers to these probably tomorrow but I wanted to get things up to date first in case any more unexpected developments occur after my visit this afternoon.

I am going to pack my bags completely before I go up just in case I was to end up in again and that will save Simon a mad dash around at the last minute trying to find whatever it is I am asking for. Although they are mostly packed I will add the last minute things like toiletries and day clothes and then just live out of the suitcase for the next few days or weeks so all is ready to go at any time.

We had our carpets cleaned today and the pest man is coming tomorrow so that is the last of our spring cleaning/chores done so ready or not ...parenthood here we come!

I am a little aprehensive about this afternoon but at the same time looking forward to clarifying some issues so... bring it on.

Will keep you all posted.

Additional Post...

Well as promised I have added this entry to bring everyone up to date on the developments from Wednesday's antenatal clinic appointment. I was concerned to see that my BP was up higher still then it was at the GP appointment the day before, sitting at 140/92 and the protein in my urine was now +2. I was sure they were going to put me in hospital again but that was not to be. This time I saw a different doctor (the consultant actually...the one with poor english and a habit of reading your chart but not saying much directly to you). Anyway he did a quick scan of baby, booked an ultrasound and said he'd see me in another week!! He also said that my blood results indicated some mild renal impairment but that he was satisfied all was ok for now?? Man who can tell what to expect from this mob?? Anyway after a feel of the baby he estimated it at week 39 size even though I was only 36.3wks on that day!!!! I asked how they could make sure that this baby was not going to be so big that I wouldnt get it out (so to speak) and hence the ultrasound booked for Monday to determine the weight as well as check the placental efficiency at present. I am now quite prepared to be told that if baby is big and considering the BP issues that I may have to have a c-section instead...and to be honest that is sounding better by the day. Of course I would rather not have this occur and I also worry about the guilt issues of not giving birth "properly" but the last thing I want is to go through hours of a painful trial labour only to have an emergency ceaser at the last minute.

So now I have to go back up to the hospital as I did last weekend to have my BP monitored on Sunday, then ultrasound Monday afternoon then back to clinics again Wednesday to get some final decisions on how this whole show is going to run.

After the clinic we visited my friend and her baby in the wards. Baby now has the naso-gatric tube in and is beginning to show signs of improvement so that is good. While we were there Simon insisted on talking to my original doctor about the days results and was assured that the consultant knew what he was doing but he did say that if my blood pressure goes any higher "that will be the end of it"....gulp!

I really don't mind what happens now I just want to know when all this will come to an end. I am exhausted all time, I am aching and uncomfortable, my sleep is in 2hr stints and the nausea and giddyness associated with the high blood pressure is really taking it out of me. Yeah I know I am a whinger but enough already. Lets meet this little baby and get on with our new life as a family.....mummy, daddy and gigantor baby!!!!! *wink*

Week 35-36

Well this week has been nothing short of eventful on the baby front! I had my midwife antenatal appointment on Monday and it found my blood pressure was up to 142/80, there was protein in my urine and my vision was blurred also. This resulted in strict orders to take it easy, rest and lay down as much as possible and drink plenty of fluids. As a result of Simon hearing all this he then took on the role of Drill Seargent Major!!! He ordered me to rest, insisted that I hire out 10 weekly videos to lay around and watch and set water drinking targets each day! It really was sweet that he was so concerned :o)

Anyway the blurred vision went away and I figured everything was settling down until yesterday morning. I experienced nausea and blurred vision and after ringing the maternity ward was told to come straight up for monitoring and tests. My blood pressure was only slightly up on the lower figure and down on the higher figure which wasn't too bad. They hooked me up to a CTG monitor to observe baby's heartrate for 20mins and this showed no problems at all....except that baby kept moving out of monitor range everytime they had the belly straps just right....lol. Another urine test still showed traces of protein and after the doctor was called to do some weird reflex tests on my lower legs he sat us down to talk through the options.

Basically the short version is that the placenta is asking for more blood which my body can only supply by increasing my blood pressure...this puts the baby under no strain but can rapidly proove critical for the mother. He said that by fast he meant I could be fine in the morning and in a coma in the afternoon...charming!!! Anyway he offered to admit me overnight for monitoring but when I wasn't too keen on that he agreed to have me come back on the weekend to repeat all the tests over and to come back if any symptoms returned at all and then I would have to be admitted whether I liked it or not...Hmm!

He said that the only way to treat the problem is to .... and here I was expecting him to say bed rest, or hospital stay or medication or something but noooo...he said was to 'take the baby'!! I'm like..you aint taking nothing buddy! :o) Seriously though he said that they have no problems inducing from wk 37 anyway and as I was week 36 it would pose no real threat to the baby except maybe some feeding problems after birth. In any case they said they would try to steady us along until at least 37wks unless forced otherwise before doing anything drastic. I also had blood test taken to ensure my kidneys were not being affected by the raised BP and told to be prepared for more intense follow up for the remainder of my pregnancy.

Sooo....quite a saga huh? When having my oldest sister my mom spent the last 16wks of her pregnancy in hospital with high blood pressure and that same sister spent the last week of her first pregnancy admitted for the same problem. The doctor said they weren't sure of a family link and if anything it appeared to run more in the father's family then mother's which was interesting.

So that brings us to today... I went and hired a BP machine from a chemist yesterday for a week for my own peace of mind. Knowing that a return to the hospital will result in an admission may make me wary of over-reacting but at the same time I don't want to risk myself or the baby so being able to take my own readings has helped. It was a little raised yesterday afternoon but settled by evening. So far so good this morning and I have a nice relaxing day planned to help it stay that way.

While I am scared of the possibility of induction I also want what is best for the baby so I hope our hand won't be forced before baby is good and ready to join the world of their own accord. In any case that brings everything up to date for now so let me see what I have to say for the rest of the week...

Firstly I must say that I am super stoked to see an end to summer!!! The whether has seemed to dramatically improve since Autumn began and that is a godsend to me. Remind me not to plan my next baby for a summer pregnancy... Ugh!

With all this rest time I have finished a huge new Stephen King novel in 2 and a half days so I had to go out and buy another one plus a stack of magazines to get me through...that plus these videos are helping to pass the time.

Having finished those baby books last week I think I have some rough forumlation of a plan in place to tackle sleep and daytime routine for baby. The basics include:

-a pre-bed routine like feed, bath (by daddy), quiet time with us then put in cot while still awake (yet sleepy) and allowed to self settle. If this routine can be established from first day home then that will help baby learn cues for sleeptime.

-definatley no rocking, walking or drives to get to sleep or feeding to sleep prior to being put into the cot.

-waking every 3 hrs during the day for feeds to combat excessive night time hunger or reversed sleeping patterns.

-plenty of play during the day and only minimal interactions during night time awakenings.

-playing soothing music, such as water flowing, to simulate conditions in womb and to help settle to sleep.

-avoiding over-stimulation and over-handling by others in the early days when a little is an awful lot for a little baby compared to it's quiet peaceful time spent in the womb.

-learning the early cues of baby being upset so as to circumvent any major distress or working up into a huge state.

-as for managing inability to sleep I think a gentle version of controlled comforting (not controlled crying) suits us best but that is something we will have to work out when the time comes.

As I said these are only a few of the points we have planned on and all or none may work in reality but it helps our own anxiety to have some plan in our head to work by.

Well I think I have taken up enough of everyone's time for one day so better wrap this up and head back to bed to watch another video.....ahhh the life!

I have taken another set of photo's at 35 wks which have been posted on the photo's page so feel free to check those out. I also took a close one of my bare belly for my own records (and to play connect the stretch marks!!) but I certainly will not be posting that for the world to see :o)

Hopefully I will have nothing to report healthwise in the coming days but I will see how I go after seeing the antenatal doctor's on Sunday and Monday and my own GP on Tuesday....good god!

Anyway....cheers for now

Week 34-35

Well thankfully I have had a little relief in the sleep department this week compared to last week. I still have the dreaded middle of the night toilet trips but physical discomfort has improved somewhat for some reason so that is a blessing.

As for toilet trips I thought that I would count up how many times I went to wee in one day out of curiosity and you wouldn't believe how many times....17 times!!!! My god...I may as well just save my time and stay there I reckon *wink*

The babies movements continue to be very pronounced and every one is more incredible then the next. I continue to feel the discomfort in my groin when I am upright but it is only mild and I guess to be expected considering the extra weight it is supporting.

This week I finally finished both of my books (The contented little baby book, and The baby whisperer). Both had similarities in many ways but one promoted a much more structured and rigid regime than the other. Basically I like the more general routine in the whisperer book with a few of the others books points combined into this. Of course who knows whether any of it will prove any use in reality but at least having some plan in mind helps to relieve anxiety somewhat.

Speaking of anxeity I seemed to be riddled with fear for the early part of this week. I worried about the birth, the sleep deprivation afterwards, my general parenting skills, the effect on our marriage, the effect on our life, all the things that could potentially go wrong with the baby, and basically whether I would turn out to be a complete failure at the whole shebang!! Anyway thanks to some comforting from Simon and some other on-line mom's I have somewhat relaxed about it all now. I know that all of these fears and more are common for first time expectant mom's and worrying about it will not do us or the baby any good. I know that I will do the best job I can of mothering and that together Simon and I can get through anything in life (we have so far) and this will be no exception. I worry about the lack of support from family and others in my home town but I know that they are only a phone call away and there are plenty of professional services that I can rely on here for guidance and support also. We are certainly not going to be alone.

On a more positive note I finally got my spring cleaning finished this week....Yippee!! I was a cleaning powerhouse, washing walls and windows and cleaning out kitchen cupboards etc. And before I get a dozen emails warning me this is the energy burst prior to delivery, let me reassure you that there was no energy burst involved....I was exhausted! Now I have only the wardrobes to work my way through and if that doesnt get done before baby arrives then it doesnt matter so I feel a huge relief now that everything else is up to date anyway.

My pregnant friend will have her baby induced on March 11 and knowing that I am due only 3 and a bit weeks after her makes me realise how close we are coming to the end! I have been gradually accumulating easy meals in recent grocery shopping to make things easier on my return home. Things like frozen 'just add meat' stir-fry mixes and pasta bake sauces etc will make for quick convenient cooking in those first few hectic days. Simon will of course be a big help in this department though....although getting him to cook vegie based meals instead of bbq meat based meals may be a challenge *wink*

When I last weighed myself a week or so ago my total weight gain had risen to 14kg. However if anyone caught this weeks issue of Who magazine, they had a special feature on celebrity post-baby bodies. I was delighted (hehehe) to read that Elle gained 20kg with her first baby and even Liz Hurley gained 24kg!!! Now while I don't envisage a return to body beautiful as fast as them, (not to mention the intial body beautiful being a neccessity for this *wink*) it does help me feel better about my overall gain. :o)

Last night we had our final antenatal class and the highlight of the evening was when they brought in a two day old baby weighing 6lb 6oz. She was BEAUTIFUL!!!!! And sooo tiny! Strangely it made me feel so much calmer about the whole immediate future. Looking at that tiny baby put everything in perspective and I figured all really would turn out fine in the end. The little bub was so unfazed by all of us and it was great to look around the room at other people's reactions. All the daddy's had enthralled grins on their faces and the mummy's just stared in awe. That is probably the only newborn that I have seen since actually becoming pregnant and it was a good reality check. This little bundle that we will someday meet is but a small part of our overall future. The baby days are just a small fraction of the life we will share with this child and they should be treasured not feared. I know that we will be so overcome with love for this child that nothing will seem to much trouble and no sacrifice will seem too great. As we drove out afterwards both Simon and I said at exactly the same time and in the same way..."how cute was that little baby?!". We just cannot wait to meet our own!

Week 33-34

With each passing week I grow more and more sleep deprived due to an inability to get comfortable at night because of my big belly and backache. How cruel is that considering the further sleep deprivation to come after the baby arrives? I guess some preperation is good but at the same time stockpiling a little sleep now would be nice too :o) The other morning I got up at 4.30am because I just couldnt stand laying there wide awake one minute longer. Boy was that a long day!

Yesterday Simon had the day off work as he had to go and have a colonoscopy to investigate a significant family history of bowel cancer. Anyway as it wasnt until lunch time we both stayed in bed until 11.30am..dozing on and off and it was pure heaven!!!! I think that has taken up some of my sleep deficit for the time being :o)

My tummy movements have been amazing this week. Lots of massive undulations that are clearly visable from the outside and jarring kicks that seems to rattle my whole insides. They aren't painful but gee are they amazing to feel and especially to watch from the outside. I can also feel the occasional arm or other limb near the surface and that is amazing to know that I am feeling the tiny limb of the baby we are yet to meet :o)))

In the last day or so I have had a bit of lower groin pain and I don't know if that is due to the ever increasing weight of the baby or maybe that it is in fact moving down lower into my pelvis to get ready for the future delivery?? It is a different pain to the ligament pain though as it is there most of the time when I am standing at least and it is no where near as painful - thank god.

The only other difficulty I have had is the damned heat!! It is soo disgustingly humid and hot (average 30-32 degree's) and because pregnancy messes with your inner thermostat I am sweating like a pig anytime I am not in air-con (and sometimes even then!). As a result I am spending much more time in my bedroom with the air on. While I worry about our next power bill, I am just grateful for the area of retreat. We had hardly used it this summer before now so I guess I shouldn't feel too bad. That's what it is there for after all. I have had two swims already today since getting up at 6am to get my housework and fish tank cleaning done early before the heat gets too bad. Bring on an end to Summer I say....preferably before baby arrives would be nice!

We got our new camera and cordless phone last week as planned. After our cordless playing up so much it is a godsend to finally have one that works so that I can answer it in my bedroom instead of trying to make it to the phone in the kitchen in time.

We also caught the two movies as planned last week. Maid in Manhatten was as lame as we had feared but as expected...not so bad for a Valentine's Day flick I guess. Gangs of New York was quite violent and no doubt responsible for the horrible nightmare I had that night, but none the less a pretty good movie.

I had my antenatal midwife visit last week which went without incident. I got to ask some last minute questions....including ensuring that the baby would be name tagged prior to leaving my sight in the labour room....don't want no baby swaps accidently occuring *wink*. From my next appointment onwards, we have weekly visits at the antenatal clinics, in the lead up to the final event.

Our antenatal class this week focused on breastfeeding with talks from a rep from the ABA (Aust. Breastfeeding Assoc), as well as videos, handouts and discussions on the topic. More importantly though was that we finally got to have a tour of the labour and maternity wards. The maternity ward was nothing out of the ordinary. 6 single rooms and 4 double rooms so here's hoping I luck out with a single! What was good was that each bed had a tele and phone from which I can make outgoing calls instead of wandering to the phonebox to make them. And of course I can get incoming calls to my bedside too which will be great.

The actual labour rooms had a greater impact on me that I had expected.....anxiety and tears! It was just overwhelming to know that the next time I came into the room would be to have my baby and somehow make it through the labour in one piece! It was a jarring reality that this is now very close and my insecurities of how I would manage flooded in as I looked around the room. It has lovely mood lighting to save on the glare of scrutiny and the room had tranquil music playing and fragrent oils burning. The bed comes apart and changes into all sorts of shapes to accomodate the labouring women. The room is also equiped with a corner spa, shower, toilet, big blow up balls to sit on and a mirror on a stand to be positioned so as to see baby arriving for that extra encouragement. While I doubt I will watch much from that mirror I do intend to see the moment when baby's head arrives into the world and the little face turns upwards. I saw this moment at my nieces birth which I attended and I will never forget it for as long as I live so I definately want to see this for my own child. I also intend to feel for the head as they suggest when it starts to appear to give myself an extra boost along at what is sure to be the most painful and exhausting moments.

This point in the pregnancy is filled with such conflicting emotions of wanting to get past this uncomfortable time and finally meet the much anticipated arrival as well as fear and insecurities of the labour process and not being in any hurry to experience that part?? Either way baby will come when it is ready and we will all get through this anyway we can......let's just hope that it is an easy road and in the end....as long as baby arrives safely nothing else really matters :o)

Week 32-33

As we share our last Valentines Day as a couple, before becoming a family, it is so exciting to know that our baby is not far away! My GP seemed intent on scaring me this week at our check up when she said that the baby was almost 2wks bigger in size than it should be...therefor I should hope for delivery around 38 weeks as it will be 'well baked by then'....Ouch!!! I know that such predictions of big babies cannot be taken as gospel but the more people who tell me this baby is going to be a big one the more I just want to shut my self away, cross my legs and tell myself they are wrong, wrong, wrong! *wink*

Other than the fact I am likely to give birth to a gigantor..things have been going pretty well on the baby front. I have had a bit more of those excrutiating ligament pains but I guess that can only be expected to get worse as baby grows. Have had a bit of heartburn again this week too but nothing bad enough to reach for the old chalk drinks yet. I am certainly growing increasingly uncomfortable and solid sleep is a thing of the past as I wake an average of 3 times a night to go to the toilet. My bladder seems incapable of containing even a spoonful at the moment and even after a planned toilet visit before leaving the house I still find my self searching for the first available toilet when I reach my destination. My poor bladder must be squished to the size of a crepe if frequency is anything to go by :o)

I have finally packed my hospital and labour bags now.....about bloody time I know! It is a relief to know that they are done and I will only have a couple last minute things to add on the day. We have found out that our camera has packed it in though so I am heading out today to buy a cheapie replacement. Our video camera, which we are also taking in with us, has a digital still camera included in it which we usually use as our camera but as there may be some limitations on video use, having a normal camera also may help to save us some explanations as to the fact that we are using the still and not the motion camera at some points in the process. While we don't intend to film any footage of the business end I do intend to get some progressive film throughout different stages of the labour and have set it to film in sepia colour so that any yucky stuff is not quite so vivid in colour! Thanks to Rhonda (mother/in-law) for being our photographer!

Our antenatal class this week was a bit more interesting than last weeks. We had a talk from one of the Consultants who although usually impossible to understand was actually quite legible and even entertaining once he got on a roll. He discussed situations in which the doctors become involved in the birth and explained the pro's and con's of various pain relief methods and assisted birth techniques which may be required such as forceps, ventouse or c-sections. Hospital policy is to not let the mother labour for too long so that later in her life she won't, as he so elequently puts it, have 'bits hanging out of her'.....Eeeek! Funny in a nail biting-please god don't let that happen to me- sort of way. :o)

I was suprised to learn that any labour which begins prior to 33 weeks is automatically transferred to Brisbane to deliver which is about a 3hr drive from here. Thankfully I have reached right on 33 weeks today so bub is free to come any time now without the worry of that eventuality. They explained though that the baby is fully developed at 37 weeks and if mine is almost two weeks ahead of schedule we could be meeting he or she anywhere from 2 weeks from now.....or even sooner!!! Wow...despite getting used to this idea for the last 8 months it is still scary as all hell to think of it all coming to an end, and a beginning, in perhaps a few short days!!!

Next weeks antenatal classes include the much anticipated tour of the maternity and labour wards which I am really looking forward to. But gosh I nearly forgot to mention "the video"!!! The torture treatment they should call it. Depsite having attended my nieces birth it was still disturbing to watch these videos filmed from the most graphic perspectives. Seeing blood and gore etc has never bothered me...it is a person's portrayed reaction to pain which makes me go weak at the knees and these vidoe's were certainly not short on that! With groaning, moaning and all out screaming involved it was hardly a popcorn moment. As scary as it seemed though it only reinforced to me that women do this every day. It may be one of the most difficult days of my life thus far but ultimately it is only one day and what better reward could come at the end of such hard work then a child. I am also much more reassured about epidurals now after the doctor's and midwives discussion and will definatley hold that as a option if required. Both Simon and I agree that we won't be accepting Pethidine due to the risks of nausea, dizziness, drowsiness and drugged out sensations....not to mention the extra monitoring of the baby that would be required for days afterwards because of the risk of respiratory depression. While an epidural is hardly a common asprin either we think the benefits sure out number the negatives of pethidine and while as stated earlier I haven't planned as such to have an epidural I will not hesitate to ask for one should I need it. Perhaps just knowing that option is always there will be enough....only time will tell. Of interest was that the doctor said that some studies have shown that the use of pethidine, a narcotic, can increase the child's likelyhood of being addicted to narcotics in later life! And then the handout's they gave us this week said similar studies had shown that the use of the nitrous gas could make the child susceptible to an amphetamine addiction in later life!! My god you are damned if you do and damned if you don't it would seem! In any case I certainly won't be using such belief's to determine my decisions but it was interesting to hear that perspective none the less.

Today being Valentine's day, we are heading out to dinner tonight at a local restaurant which I am looking forward to. We had planned to go and see the movie '1 hr photo' after dinner but as there isn't a 9pm session of this tonight we may end up catching the romantic 'Maid in Manhatten'. While neither of us are J.Lo fans it does seem like an appropriate Valentine's Day movie don't you think? Also Simon won some radio tickets to go and see 'Gangs of New York' tomorrow night as well as some pre-movie drinks at the nearby Irish pub so that will be fun too. Gosh we are certainly cramming in the movies in these last couple weeks!

We also found out yesterday that Simon's boss (the same one who already gave us the very generous baby gifts and car capsule etc) has another suprise in stall for us. Simon is a sub-contractor for him and therefor is not entitled to any paid leave such as sick leave, rec leave and certainly not any paternity leave etc. His boss however, has generously decided, to provide Simon with full pay on the week that he is having off when the baby is born!! How nice is that!!! Simon will of course take the day of the birth off and the next to recover...then will return to work for whatever period I remain in hospital (if any) then take a full week off when I bring the baby home. We would have struggled without his pay but to know that now we don't have to is sensational! One in a million type of boss I reckon!

Anyway as well as buying this camera today I have to travel to a nearby town to exchange a cordless phone we bought recently. This is the second time I have had to take it back....my fault for buying a cheapie $67 one I guess? Anyway this time I am going to add another $60 or so to it and get a better one of a different brand as it will be invaluable to have the cordless convenience once baby arrives.

Sorry for the mammoth entry this week....I thought I didn't have much to say but I guess I sort of got on a roll! *wink*

Week 31-32

I would like to begin this week by clarifying that the comments that I made last week about the NASA shuttle re-entry were of course written before the real life incident occured. In reading back today I thought how insensitive they may sound if someone thought I said them after the event.....so anyway just wanted to clear that up (but how uncanny a comment was that?)

Had another antenatal midwives clinic visit this week. We had a different one to usual and she was great in going to extra lengths to explain everything to us that we asked about. She also did a print out of the baby's heart tracing for our scrap book and gave us the little measuring tape which she measures baby's length with as a souvenier too. It's the little things that count!

Of more note was of course the fact that our antenatal classes finally began last night. We were suprised to find ourselves in a class of about 10 or more other couples which was larger than we had been expecting. The first week didnt hold any great suprises. Talks covered anatomy, first stage labour and general info on recognising beginning labour. They also passed around these weird models of various parts including a knitted sock that was meant to represent the womb.....weird! Now we can only hope that all of us women who, except for 2, were at 32wks along....don't all go into labour at once and battle to fit into the 3 labour rooms available :o) We don't see the dreaded labour video until next week thank god and then the following week we get the long awaited tour of the labour wards. I was dissapointed to hear that they don't have birthing stools at this hospital but they do at least have other comforts like spa baths, oil burners, temperature control and cd players etc to make the whole process as bearable as they can. I was a little alarmed to hear that a baby in right sided presentation often meant a longer and more painful labour so now we are hoping our little one gets a wriggling to the other side to save me that joy!

We have had 18 inches (!!!) of rain here so far this week and our pool has overflowed and the yards are well and truly soaked which has been a blessing! The only blip was when the council sewer line malfunctioned and sewerage came up the pipes in two places in our yard...and a little through the ensuite floor. Luckily we stopped the inside one by relieving the pressure on the two outside ones. I made sure that they came around the next day to clean up and disinfect the mess though because I sure as hell wasn't going to be touching it. Sadly it was not soon enough though to prevent our Coda thinking that it would be lovely smelly 'mud stuff' to roll in.......Eeeeew! Simon got the job of washing the shit (literally) off him!!! That's what men are for right? *wink*

We managed to get to another movie this week and were this time spared the aggravation of any wild kids or loud women like last weeks movie outing...thank god! We've made a dinner reservation for Valentine's Day next week and hope to catch another movie that night too so I guess we are packing them in while we still can.....lol

I have finally purchased all the goodies for my hospital bag and need now only pack it all in the respective bags this arvo. I did manage to find a pretty daggy nighty that I then had to have altered to add extra buttons on the front to facilitate breast feeding but at least I have something now which was better than the prospect of pulling my t-shirt over my head everytime I wanted to breast feed in hospital!!!!

So that brings to an end the baby preperations and now it is time to begin to tackle that spring cleaning....ugh! The things we do??

As promised last week, I have updated he photo's page to include pictures of the nursery etc so check them out on your way out!

Till next week...

Week 30-31

Well my prize pack of nursery toys that I won in That's Life! finally arrived this week :o) There is a string of toys and noisemakers to attach across the pram for babies amusement, a soft rocking girraffe and a soft bear creature that plays the familiar baby chime when you pull his hat. They are all brightly coloured and cute to boot! What a score :o)

Simon and I had our mole biopsy's done this week. The worst part was that we couldn't go in the pool until 3 days later. They are all healing nicely and the acutal process was pretty painless..although Simon had a bit of a turn after watching them do his....lol. Now we have to wait another week for the results and keep our fingers crossed that all is well.

I have had an increase in right sided pelvic pain this week that can be excrutiating when I lie down, and it is always only on my right side. Luckily I had my antenatal doctor's appointment this week so I was able to be reassured that it was completely normal....apparently related to the relaxing of over strained ligaments.

Funnily enough I chose to see a new Doctor this visit as my other Doctor was a non-Australian who I could hardly understand when he spoke. Anyway I got there this week only to find that my new Doctor was training a student so I had to see his junior doctor - another non-australian heavily accented doctor!! Go figure! lol

Actually she was very caring though and ready to answer any questions I had...of which there were plenty when she casually said while listening to my heart, "have you had heart problems before?.....oh it's just the odd ectopic beat is all" and then proceeded to finish the check up! I was like...Hello??? What?? Anyway apparently any heart changes are typical during pregnancy and nothing to worry about...more related to it's increased workload but I am glad I clarified that one none the less :o) She was also the second doctor to tell me it was going to be a 'big' baby......Oh my lord!!! That I could do without!

We start our antenatal classes next Wednesday night which I am really looking forward to. I do think that they leave it a bit late though as I will be almost 36 wks by the time they are complete. Alright if I go full term but since the beginning I have had this weird feeling that I would be somewhat premature??

We had our trip as planned to go out to dinner and a movie on the weekend and it was lovely. Except for this god-awful women in the cinema with 5 children under 5 who sat behind us and let her kids climb all over our chairs...were loudly chastised for various antics throughout the film, ran up and down the isles and generally drove everyone to distraction. We actually were forced to get up and move half way through the movie just to be able to hear it and judging my the calls of 'shut up' from other movie goers we weren't the only distracted ones. However you gotta admire the women for having the guts to even contemplate taking so many kids to the cinema alone. When she wasn't yelling over them to be quiet she was laughing like some demented creature at the movie so I guess she enjoyed herself....even if no-one else did! :o)

We got the change table and shelf painted and into the nursery, as well as the leather recliner. Today I took the pram to pieces (which incidently was strapped together like it had to withstand the re-entry of a NASA shuttle coming back through the earth's atmosphere) and got all the various pieces hand washed and reassembled. It turned out to be a bit too fiddly to dye it but a good wash and sun dry was all it needed to bring it up lovely.

I still have not packed my bags but am intending to finally get that done next week after payday when I can search high and low for some front opening nighties for hospital. Not being a nightie or pj kinda gal I don't own anything that fits the bill....and although pj's are a better option, getting ones big enough in the shirt leaves the bottom's looking like clown's pants??? May have to bite the bullet and get some daggy floral nighties with the button up section on top....shudder! Note to self...be sure to get dressing gown to cover up these fashion faux pas!

Had a shocking day, memory wise, today. Went out to buy sunscreen and wool wash for the pram sheepskin and came home with neither...doh! I'll be lucky if I don't leave this baby in a Woolies trolly after our first shopping outing!!

Anyway I know I promised the nursery photo's this week but I'd rather wait until daylight to take the pics to ensure clarity... and as it is past 9pm I am afraid they will have to wait for next weeks entry instead.

Until then....cheers

Week 29-30

Finally the magic week 30 arrives! At this point the baby has a 90% survivial rate if it were to be born today or tomorrow. Of course I wouldn't want to meet our little one until at least 36, preferably 38 weeks or so, but it is a relief to know that if heaven forbid...something were to happen....that it would probably all turn out ok.

I continue to have the odd bout of heartburn and my sleep is becoming harder to sustain. I wake like clockwork at 3.30 - 4.00am for the toilet but also every time I roll over (usually because I am trying to hold a pillow between my knees while rolling to prevent back ache), whenever Simon rolls over, whenever my cat decides it's bored and wants to disturb us, etc etc. I'm sure you get the point. And if that isn't bad enough, I then find it hard to get back to sleep as my mind starts to race about my plans for the day, the baby, the future etc etc. I'm just glad I have the opportunity to nap during the day...although I rarely do lately...and if I do it most definatley must be with the air-con on because boy is it hot lately!

I am continuing to get more advanced strectch marks on either side of my belly button but nowhere else yet that I can see so that is a relief. I am keeping up with the cocoa-butter but concede that it will probably do nothing for them in the long run but one can only try :o)

I had a little stress out yesterday when I realised at 2pm that I hadnt felt the baby move since 4am that morning! I played music and bumped my tummy around trying to provoke some action but got only the odd bump back. Still it was a reassurance and by evening things were back as active as usual. I had actually had a busy day shopping etc so there may have been movements that I just didn't notice. In any case, thankfully, baby is back moving all over the joint today so that is great. The alternative didn't bear thinking about!

We enjoyed a lovely weekend last week....starting the days with cooked breakfast's, we had trips to the beach with the puppin', beach bbq lunches with friends (and puppin' too of course), we went to the library together, watched movies and spent plenty of time in the pool too. We are planning to go out for dinner and a movie this weekend which I am looking forward to also :o) I have also begun a habit of having a swim every night around 7pm to wash away the day and help tea go down *wink* It is a lovely time to swim with no glaring sun to worry about, the water is most lovely and best of all the weightlessnes is heaven!

I have always been very careful in the sun due to a mole disorder. A new skin cancer clinic recently opened up in town and Simon and I went for a full check up last week just to be safe. It turned out lucky that we did because next week we have to go back to have biopsy's done! (I have to have one and Simon has to have 2). It is called a punch biopsy were they use a needle to take a small disc of tissue from the mole and then send it away for analysis to tell us what it's condition is and if full removal is required. It doesn't require any stitching but a local anaesthetic is used. I was a little concerned with this in pregnancy but the doctor assured me that the minor dose would be quite safe. I am just thankful that we checked....and that I have always been so rigid about sun care for the both of us.

I have been powering through the baby whisperer book that I mentioned last week and have gotta say that it is excellant. The book is full or great insights into babies and parenting and sets out a great routine that I am hoping to follow to get baby sleeping, eating and developing as expected...and all within a matter of weeks. The program is implimented from the first day home and although mostly commen sense it does help to highlight a lot of common misconceptions about parenting and 'good' parenting skills and techniques. I am still waiting for my other book on a similar topic to come into the book store but I am hoping that will arrive in the next week or so.

Today I have finally finished putting the nursery in order. While I have had everything in there spread around on display for months, it was time to get things organised and ready for use. So today I unwrapped all the various goodies, put everything away into drawers and shelves and begun the arduous task of washing everything. Between clothing, bibs, nappies, towels, washers, bunny rugs, sheet sets and blankets I have been washing solidly for the last 4-5hrs. But it was important to get everything washed before use and now I am relaxed knowing that if baby were to arrive tomorrow everything is ready and waiting to be put to use. This weekend Simon will finally be painting my change table, as well as a shelf that I bought to be mounted in the nursery. We also have to move a leather recliner in from another room to serve as a backup breast feeding chair in there when my antique rocking chair in the lounge room in not available due to tv noise or visitors or whatever. Then I will take photo's of the nursery and the cradle in our bedroom (for the early weeks) and post them with next weeks entry.

The other remaining task is to remove all the fabric parts from my second hand pram and re-dye them as the dark blue colour has faded somewhat from prior use. An inexpensive way to jazz up an incredibly bargain priced pram and one that will have it looking like new again.

I have also still to pack my hospital and labour bag but as I am going grocery shopping tomorrow I will be able to make a few of the necessary last minute purchases for these bags and have them packed in the next few days. Then that's it for baby preperations and onto nesting *wink*

I am developing quite a mental list of spring cleaning that I want to get done around the house before baby arrives now that the immediate baby preperations have been completed. Things like cleaning windows, skirting boards, walls and cupboards etc. Those once a year jobs that god knows when I'll get around to doing next if I dont do them soon. Admittedly it will be a slow process in the heat and considering my ever growing size and fatigue levels but one that I can plod through over a couple weeks. We also have many boxes in various wardrobes that have been moved, unpacked, from house to house and I figure now is a good time to get rid of some of those and make some more space...and maybe even some spare cash in the process if there is anything worth selling amongst it. When all that is done then I think I will be ready to purely kick back and await our arrival.

Gosh I'm so tired just thinking about all this I'd better go have a nice cool swim now I think *wink*

Oh and by the way, as promised, I have updated the photo's page with week 30 belly photo's (even a bare belly one) so check them out at your own risk!!! :o)

Week 28-29

Well I made a big sacrifice for baby this week......my nails! *wink* Those that know me, know that I have always had these long french acrylic nails that I absolutely love due to my own weak brittle nails underneath. Anyway due to financial luxuries being restricted, and also the very real chance of taking out my baby's eye during the first bath, I had to have my nails removed yesterday :o( Very sad day indeed! lol So now I am left with brittle, soft and sore nails while they recover and get used to daylight again. I am smothering them in strengthening polish to try to get them in better shape and also hoping that the old sayings of how pregnancy hormones strengthen nails is all true.

Had my routine doctor checkup this week which was pretty uneventful. She said that the baby is now head down, with it's back along my right hand side. She also explained that the fundus thingy (top of the womb) is just below my sternum which explains why I am having so much trouble bending over lately. I only have to look at food sometimes to feel completely overfull and squishd up inside. I can only imagine then what that will be like in the next month or so when the baby really starts to pack on the size??

I have also felt what I am pretty sure are my first braxton hicks this week. A weird crawling/tightening sensation over my stomach as the womb tightens and prepares for future contractions to come. I also noticed the baby hickuping for the first time which was pretty sweet. I asked to doc about the weird shuddering I sometimes feel and she said it was the baby's natural startle response. Startle response....something must be damned startling in there because when it happens you would swear the baby was being chased around the womb by the devil himself for all the shivering and shuddering going on :o)

My bladder has kicked into action again this week. I am now back to being up at least twice every night. And despite being able to sit or lie for hours on end in comfort...the minute my body becomes vertical my bladder screams for attention as if I havent been in days on end?

I took advantage of my free time to go and visit a local day care centre this week too. It is only a 5-10 minute walk from my house so would be ideal. It is open 6.30am to 6.30pm and takes babies from 6 weeks upwards. At this stage our baby wont be going until 9months old (or maybe even a year later if I extend my leave as we have discussed). It was good to see what was on offer though and I was mighty relieved at the prices. It turns out that with Centrelink benefits included the day care cost from $7 to $20 max a day which is quite reasonable I think. The nursery section of this particular one has an air-con sleep room and has a maximum of 8 babies with 2 staff at all time. In any case I have plenty of time to visit others and make a decision but at least I have a frame of reference now.

This week I have recieved a book called 'secrets of a baby whisperer' which came highly recommended, and as a gift, from another mother and friend. Thanks Melissa and John! I am looking forward to getting stuck into that over the next week as I can't get enough info these days.

I read up on epidurals last week as planned and only succeeded in confusing my feelings all the more. There are so many risks associated with them that now I don't know what to think?? Still plenty of time to gather more info and give it some more thought. Also it will be interesting to hear what they have to say on the matter at next months antenatal classes. At the end of the day though...I think that I will take whatever I need to get through the birth.......hopefully only gas but you never know how things will go on the day??

As promised I have finally updated the photo's page to include some pics of our pool that I keep raving about. Be sure to check it out on your way out.

Still haven't packed my hospital bags but am hoping to do so this coming week. Gotta pace these action packed weeks after all *wink*

Week 27-28

As the end of my first real week off draws near I feel like I have done nothing! But then wasnt that the idea? This life of a housewife is quite addictive, fitting in a little housework between swims, computer, tv and magazine reading *wink*. I have so much that I want to do but I figure I deserve at least one week of luxury before tackling anything too big.

I have now gone back to grocery shopping once a week instead of every fortnight so I have an 'outing' each week to look forward to :o) I have also managed to visit a friend for a good old girl gossip session...though mosly it revolved around pregnancy and baby talk anyway! Simon is now loving having a packed lunch for work each day and no housework to come home to. Previously we both handled our own lunches and we shared all the cleaning chores but it was always agreed I would take over both once work stopped....at least until baby arrives anyway.

I have had my first heartburn last night and this morning and am hoping this is not the start of 12 weeks of it. Seriously though, even if it was I would think that it is a small price to pay for a relatively cruisey pregnancy thus far. I get leg cramps and aches during the night but again nothing too serious. Something I have noticed in the last week or two is that whenever I roll over in bed my lower back makes these sickening crunching noises that sound like someone folding a bag of dry spaghettit in half down the middle (!). There is no pain associated with it and I know that everything is loosening up in that area ready for the big day but I am scared of over-extending and doing some real damage. However unless this can be done reaching for the remote I reckon I am pretty safe! *wink*

In all honesty though I have now begun exercising and am doing 20 laps and 200 leg kicks in the pool each day, and planning to build this up slowly each week. It's the best way to get a gentle and supported workout in the hot weather and it has made me feel heaps better knowing I am finally doing something to promote an easier labour. It is only made a little hard by my breathlessness so I use a snorkle during the laps and can just keep head down and going.....hate to think what the neighbours think when they see that!?

I had my Glucose Tolerance test yesterday at the hopsital pathology lab. It only involved drinking a glucose drink which just tasted like sweet lemonade, sitting around for an hour then having a routine blood test. No big deal at all. I havent got the results yet but will find out next antenatal visit if all was ok. If not then I will hear earlier and will have to have a 2hr test next time. So far no news is good news.

I had a visit from lady luck on Wednesday which just made my week. I used to religiously enter That's Life! puzzles every week for about 2yrs after it was first released. I soon got fed up and stopped though and only just took it up again in December as a way to keep myself entertained while off from work. You can imagine my suprise then to find my name on the winners page in this weeks issue! I was scanning the list and found that I had won a 'Nursery Toy Set' valued at $74!!!!! Of all the things to win....nursery toys!!! If that's not fate I dont know what is :o) Apparently it is a musical elephant, a rocking girraffe and a pram activity toy string thing?? I dont have the pictures anymore so I will now have to wait about a month for it to be delivered to find out exactly what these toys are....but who's compaining....not me!!! Needless to say it will surely keep me puzzling all the harder now......gotta get me a holiday or new car next :o)

Something interesting that I found out today was about car seats/capsules. Everything you read about them in magazines, books or on the seats themselves say to have them installed by an authorised installer. Well it turns out there is no such thing in Qld! The Ambulance service only fits the capsules that they themself hire out and RACQ admit that while they are investigating creating such a service no such one exists at this time with them or anyone else in Qld. She said that instructions are pretty clear these days and perhaps baby stores could give us some 'tips' but really.....!! Of course we will fit it ourselves but am I the only one who didnt know this? Amazing.

After finishing this entry I am planning on typing out my checklist for my hospital bag and getting started on organising last minute purchases for it. Can never be too obsessive...ahh I mean organised *wink*

I am also going to do a bit of net surfing to find out some more about epidurals. Every women who managed without one has nothing good to say about them but I am finding more and more women who did have one swear that they are the best things since sliced bread and make the whole experience a special time instead of a torturous horror. Yes both groups talk of forgetting it all in the end when the precious baby arrives...but really if the lead up to this can be more pleasant than why not? I expect to get plenty of disaproving and patronising looks and comments from all those trojan women out there who did it without an epidural but at the end of the day....only our decision matters. So there!! *wink* Will let you know what I find out anyway.

I have now been booked into our antenatal classes which begin February 5th and are once a week for about 2hrs or so. We have to bring a plate of food and a pillow.....intriguing! lol

People continue to place bets on the gender of our child. So far the list is pretty divided. Debbie, Donna, Alicia H and Marion all think it is a girl and Leroy, Jimmy, Adam and Rhonda think it is a boy. It is funny to hear the various reasons why they 'know' they are right....all the while knowing that no-one but us actually "knows"! Anyone else care to place a bet?

Week 26-27

Gosh it's a good thing that this silly season only comes around once a year! As fun as it all is, it is certainly good to see the end of it for another year. The last of our visitors left yesterday and this morning we have to tackle the disaster zone that our house has become :o) It's great to have family and friends visit but gee it's great to see them leave too *wink*

New Year's Eve was suprisingly uneventful...no drunks drowning in the pool or throwing up on the lawn....lol. Everyone was cheery and in control and despite the fact that I of course was sober, Simon and I were the last one's up at 3am. I was a little lost for new years resolutions this year as traditionally they always involve diet and exercise and miraculous body make-overs *wink*. These will still apply this year of course but won't be able to begin until after baby is born...so for now my only resolution is to take it easy the next 2-3 months and enjoy the last of this pregnancy before the big day arrives :o) After that ..... I resolve only to survive!!

My latest antenatal visit was problem free. My blood pressure was the best it has been and my weight has now increased to a grand total of 9kg. The recommended gain for this point is up to 10kg, so again I am amazed to be under that. I always thought I would be an attrocious pig in pregnancy but this is turning out really well so far :o)

I still have to have my sugar test next week and after seeing the ante-natal doctors in 4 weeks I then move up to fortnightly visits with the midwives before ending on weekly visits in the last month....gosh we really are getting along now and seem to be picking up momentum as we go!

I did find that I can only have Simon and one other support person with me so I had to then choose between my sister and mother in law. As my mother in law (Rhonda) is more able to arrive quickly and will also be the best support for Simon I have chosen her to be the one. My sister was ok with it all though - thank god!

From next week I am going to start to gather together the things I will need for my hospital bag and plan to pack that sometime this month....can never be too prepared! I am also itching to install the capsule but am holding off on that one for a while *wink*.....I just can't wait to see it in my car :o)

I forgot to mention too that last week we actually saw movements in my tummy from the outside for the first time. Just a little flutter with each kick but it was great to see....as baby must now be getting stronger - and I guess more squished up too! We have learned also that baby is now able to distinguish Daddy's voice (and already Mummy's) from all others so that they will know us after birth...which got Simon talking to baby all the more!!

After this weekend Simon will return to work and I guess I will start my holidays in earnest then....still hasn't sunk in properly though!

Anyway I had better stop this procrastinating and get moving on returning our house back to normal after the festive tornado :o)

Talk more soon

Week 25-26

Well our last Christmas as a couple without kids is over! It occured to me as I finished my Christmas dinner that it would probably be the last one I enjoyed uninterrupted for some time *wink*. We had a lovely trip to Ballina and spending a few days around my sisters 4 children gave me somewhat of a preview of what my life would be like, as well as some aspects I don't want my life to be like. I realise it is easy to judge other people's parenting when you are not one yourself but at the same time I think it is fair to want to do things your way, while respecting that they did things their way too?

In any case now they are all coming to my house from today for New Years and while I try to relax about that my house really isnt that child proof and I do find it pretty stressful....guess I'll have to soon get used to sticky finger prints and mess from one end to another :o)

Simon brought me a luxurious padded, reclining pool lounge for Christmas that I just know I am going to get plenty of use from in the coming months and beyond. I am trying to imagine my life without work and for some reason the pool features fairly heavily in that vision *wink* I must take a decent pic of it and post it on my photo's page with my next update.

We also recieved a musical mobile from my sister. We have been wracking our brains for weeks trying to figure out what music to play the baby now, to be available to settle the baby after birth, as apparently now is the time to begin this. Anyway after recieving this mobile we figure this will be just the shot...as it is what we will be using to settle baby in the cot. So I am going to hang it beside my bed for the next few months and play it while I am going off to sleep so that baby associates it with peace and relaxation. I try not to think what others may think of a baby mobile above our bed though....tee-he-he!

I have yet to go for my sugar test but figure it can wait until later in the week when life goes back to normal! This afternoon I have my next ante-natal visit which I always enjoy. The midwives are so lovely and today I have a few questions saved up to ask them about. I do have to write them down though or I have no chance of remembering them. Simon will be coming with me...as always. It is so nice to have a husband who is so totally involved in the whole process as I know that some women don't have this luxury.

On Friday we were sitting on the lounge together and baby started to kick and carry on and Simon got to feel some really good boots. Anyway we remembered that a book told us the best way to interact with baby was to kick back each time (so to speak) and get a little game going between the inside and outside world. We tried it and it really did work......we got about 10 reply kicks back and forth and it was soo much fun.....it really helps Simon to feel connected to this little one too. And how cute is it to know this tiny being is reacting to you and replying....awww shucks! lol

Well after a very sober Christmas I am now preparing for probably my most sober New Years in many years *wink*. We are having a pool party which should be fun....if I can manage to keep all the other drunks out of the pool!! Hope everyone else has a great one!!!

Talk more in the new year....

Week 24-25

Well I have to start with the most exciting news today........yes you guessed it.....today is my last day at work!!!! It doesnt seem very real yet though I guess it will after xmas and new years are over, everyone has gone home and I realise that I dont have to go back to work in days or weeks....but months and months :o) I have a pretty easy day planned, closing off charts, clearing my email and emptying my desk etc. Nothing too stressful *wink*.

I actually think that this morning is the first day in recent memory that I have been looking forward to going to work! For the sake of my colleagues I will try to keep the inane grin off my face until I am alone but if they find me giggling into the paperbasket I am sure they will know why....lol!

I have a little bottle of non-alcoholic champagne chilling in the fridge with which to celebrate with.....wow go wild!!! lol

Baby is going well this week. I had my GP visit and have arranged to do the yucky gestational diabetes test next week where I have to hang out at the pathologist for an hour...drinking horrible sweet stuff and having tests! Not that I honestly care though....I still find each new step in this pregnancy progress interesting. My blood pressure was the best it has been and my weight had only gone up 1kg in the last month (although I am realistic enough to know that it is only going to keep going up from now!).

The scary part was that she had me lying on the lounge while she felt my belly, looking at the the shape and size of the uterus. Then she says oh so casually..."Gee it's going to be a BIG baby"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOOOooowwww! I didn't need to hear that one...lol. While I am happy that big is healthy I dont know how healthy I will be feeling after giving birth to a whale!!!!!!!!! It all just makes me want to cross my legs!!! :o)

We are tackling the last of our christmas cleaning tomorrow and then it's time to sit back and enjoy the festive season.....Ho Ho Ho! We are off to Ballina on Monday to spend Christmas at my sisters house.....but even that will be a luxury to have someone else hosting the hoards for a change instead of me!

I was a little dissapointed at work on Tuesday when a Doctor and another nurse spent 15 minutes telling me how horrible early motherhood was going to be....taking glee in pointing out all the negatives and challenges. I guess it was just their way of trying to dampen my glee at finshing work and perhaps having talked a little too much and a little too loudly about it for the last couple weeks......but still! These women were both mothers themselves???

I told them yesterday how bitter and jealous they had sounded and while they seemed a little embarressed for their behaviour they just said that it was a right of passage for all mothers and that one day I would get an opportunity to do it to another expectant first time mom...and break the 'conspiracy of silence'!! Pul-lease!! If they taught me anything it was to try and never sound as bitter and catty as these two had done.

Anyway I should be able to update as normal next week but if I am delayed I am sure it is to be expected :o) Until then we would like to wish each and everyone one of you a happy and safe Christmas and New Years!!! Have a good one!

Week 23-24

Well from our first movements felt externally last week...it is now on a daily basis :o) Baby's kicks are getting much firmer and more frequent now that I wonder how much longer I will be spared the more painful ones as ribs or vital organs get hammered!

I brought the stethascope home last night but still couldnt hear anything clearly...but will keep trying over the weekend.

I was catching up on all my pregnancy books last night. I have Kaz Cook's "Up the Duff" which is a humorous yet informative weekly guide; I have the bible of pregnancy books "What to expect when you are expecting" which is packed full of monthly information; and I also have one called beginning life which again is monthly but focused on the baby development and includes lots of pictures. I was amazed to read in the latter one last night that baby now hears and responds to voices, music, motion, sounds and my emotions. And that at this point in development can be seen touching and and exploring it's umbilical cord, it's amnion sac and even their own bodies and faces! It really brings home the fact that this is no longer just a bunch of cells growing in me but an already reacting and processing human being.

Last night I was feeling a bit sorry for myself that I was unable to enjoy any of the usual Friday night celebrations, and I was thinking about how sober xmas and new years was going to be. But after reading more about my baby now it reinforced that even a single drink would not be worth it and that I really do have a much more special occasion happening in side me every day then yet another years silly season activities!

Well it wouldn't be a weekly update if I didnt mention my work countdown *wink*....I now have one week, or 4 days remaining!!! Oh my god! I thought the last week was never going to get here...but this weekend is now my last 'work weekend' before THE END! lol Maybe I should start the countdown in hours now?? Except my workmates would probably be obliged to srangle me :o)

We have a busy weekend ahead of us with more pre-christmas cleaning and such so I had better get started on it I guess.

I have finally posted some belly pics on the photo's page too so check them out at your own risk!

Week 22-23

We have been getting stuck into some pre-christmas cleaning around the house and yards this week. Not only do I want to get it out of the way before the onslaught of visitors arrive, but also because it is growing harder to do such jobs as my tummy becomes larger by the day.

I am still marveling in the sensations of movement. Every time steals my concentration from whatever I was previously engaged in...as I stop to share my secret joy within me. We are still waiting for Simon to feel it but I am pressing my hands to my tummy with every movement hoping to feel something. I believe I may have felt something on the weekend...but I cannot be sure. The hardest thing will be for Simon to actually be feeling at the right time.....until of course things really progress and movements are visable from across the room, let alone being in contact at the time *wink*.

Well it has been a few days since I wrote the above and guess what.... I definatley felt movement tonight!!!! Simon wasn't home..dammit :o) The movements are getting much stronger and more frequent now and I just happened to have my hand resting on my tummy when a particularly strong one arrived. At last!!!! Now it will be a matter of having Simon's hand waiting at the right time...lol Although my weekly pregnancy email says that movements can be stimulated by pressing from the outside now so that may help. I was also stoked to read that the baby's heartbeat can now be heard with a stethascope. I think I said that I tried that weeks ago without success. Now I wish I had read the email before tonight (friday) because now I have to wait until monday to borrow one from work overnight to have a good long listen :o)

We had the scan on Wednesday and all was well. Once again she seemed to take delight in punishing my overly full bladder and this time even saved some torture for my ribs and hip bones.....evil women *wink* We were suprised to note that she seemed to check everything over again from start to finish...instead of just the left overs from the last scan. Not that we mind though as it gave us plenty of time to soak up the thrill of looking on in awe. All was clear and we have some excellant pictures for keepsake. Including a side profile of the face which really is amazing in it's detail. We do now have a definate (or as sure as they can be) on the gender but sorry.......that will remain our secret until the big day arrives!

My tummy is taking on a life of it's own now and I am lathering it daily in cocoa butter to try to ward off the beginnings of stretch marks....a fruitless task I am sure. As well as a return of teenage pimples at times I also have these funny little skin tags popping up on my arms? (yes denise....now I know what you were talking about back when you were trying to make one drop off by wrapping it in cotton at work....lol). I do think at last that my daily hair loss has begun to slow down as they all predicted it would...but why does it have to get thicker in summer?? I do not know how pregnant women can gain masses of weight as I only seem to need to look at food and I feel full....too many arms and legs in there already I guess :o) I have now reached a 8kg total gain...which I continue to feel ok about...after all will be 6 months gone next week. Breast changes go without saying and I have also had the occasional swollen ankles but nothing a quick rest can't fix.

My brain and memory continue to fail me on a regular basis.

I had an embarressing moment at the xray counter following my ultrasound. I had to complete a form to purchase the scan pics (yes they charge for these!!). Anyway I read aloud...from the form...while looking at it and pointing it out to the lady, the sentance "Number of copies required". Only problem was the line actually said "Please state reason for requesting copies" Now how I got this so assed about is beyond me. Then she told me to take the form and the money to the cashier for a receipt. I nodded in agreement then promptly turned around and walked away....without the form???? Simon has a good chuckle over these turn of events. So in future spare a thought for the pregnant women that you simply took to be a complete moron!!! - she probably was once quite bright....till IT happened :o)

Now only 2 weeks (8 working days) left to work. Am having to now tell my clients that I am leaving and that a new case manager will take my place. The thing is they all appear so suprised when I say I am leaving for maternity leave.....did they just think I decided to eat like a pig and deposit it all on my middle??? lol

Anyway...I feel like I have said enough for one week :o) Simon is out at his work christmas party tonight and I am chatting away in a bid to stay awake to go and pick up a car load full of drunks around midnight...joy!

PS.....A quick update from last nights.........Simon felt the baby move today!!! We were lying around watching videos and I was telling him how I felt it move last night...and that it kept on moving all through the night. Then when he had his hand resting there it moved again.....and again and again. I was worried it would take ages for him to be able to feel it....but he got several goes in a matter of minutes. It was amazing :o) Certainly brought a big smile to his face and mine!

Week 20-22

Well as our due date was moved forward to April 6th we are now one week closer to the finishing line....hence the double week dates this entry.

I have now booked my next scan for Wednesday 4th and can hardly wait to have another peek!

I had another ante-natal this week and another chance to listen to the heartbeat....and all was well. I have had some rather freaky breast changes which the midwife wanted the doctor to check out but he felt confident that all was well. I will spare you all the details but suffice to say....it is just another example of how my body has become a stranger in the last few months :o) Weird stuff happening all the time, changes and deteriorations in functioning. But of course it is all for a great cause and it will all be over before I know it.

After putting the last of the big stuff on layby this week (eg highchair and porta-cot) and buying a heap of little things we are now pretty much baby ready. We only have a few items of clothing to go...and that's it! I know we have finished pretty early but that was how we wanted it, over before my money dries up :o) And since our christmas shopping is now finished too we can sit back and relax as the festive season nears.

Speaking of relaxing....I now have only 13 more working days left after today - stretched over 3 weeks! Every day it is becoming more real to me that I can soon turn my back on the considerable stressors at work and get settled into enjoying the rest of my pregnancy! Woo-hoo!

The midwife expects that Simon will be able to start feeling the movements from the outside within the next two weeks! We both cannot wait for that one. The baby can now hear outside sounds too, so Simon has begun talking to baby too...which is super sweet!

We are both so eager for this baby to arrive and to begin the next leg of our journey now.

By the way, I will take some pics of my growing belly this weekend and try to post them on the photo's page with next weeks entry.

For now..check out the pics of our huge...9 box...Crisco delivery which arrived this week! What a huge haul :o)

Week 19-20

Well I just thought I would make a quick entry prior to our scan which is scheduled for 2hrs time. We are going to find out the gender if we can...but if not we wont be too dissapointed. I am a little nervous about all the tests and measurements they will do and just hope that all comes out well. I have a feeling about what the gender will turn out to be...and while I won't say which my gut feeling is, I will tell you if I turn out to be right about it!

I am busy trying to force down a litre of warm water (am avoiding cold as that just makes the urge to pee so much worse!). How cruel is it to make a pregnant women drink a load of water then not only forbid going to the toilet...but then proceed to push on and prod her stomach and bladder!!! lol

Well better go get ready then.......eeeek I am getting so nervous now that it is close!

Well we had the scan and it was AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING! Admittedly I had always wondered if I would ever get my chance to lie on a bed and look at my unborn child on a screen, with my husband by my side, as I had seen so many times in tv shows and movies. And this week we finally had that experience :o)

We were both amazed at just what they can see! From the usual limbs, fingers, toes and head they also look way inside to check out all is working well. For example the bladder had liquid in it therefor the kidney's are working, the stomach has liquid in it therefor swallowing is occuring as expected. They look at and measure all aspects of the brain and various organs and bone lengths too.

Funnily enough our little one would not roll over to be face up the entire 45mins or so that the scan went on.....depsite having me roll over and go to the toilet and everything. And speaking of going to the toilet.......oh-my-god did I need to. Thankfully they only do about 5minutes worth before they let you go and come back and finish it.....but that was agony enough. But because bub wouldn't roll over, (already like it's stubborn mum!) we get to go back again in a fortnight for another go to finish examining the heart and face! Yey for baby......i'd have a scan every week if I could. Because we didnt look at the face we didnt get any pics this time but intend to after the next one.

Of all the tests and measurements that she did do everything was fine...thank god. And the heart was there and beating and all, just not in the best position for all the measurements and such.

When the scan first began there were little fingers and a hand darting up and down at the front of the screen....almost like the baby was waving hello at us!

Simon and I couldnt help but grin at each other all the way back to the carpark.....amazed at what we had just experienced.

So now we await with baited breath our next little peak. And yes we did get a probable gender prediction....but again this was complicated by positioning....and no we are not sharing this with others. It will be our little secret for now :o)

Week 18-19

Another week gone and now getting very close to the big scan coming next week. After a lot of going back and forth we have now decided to find out the gender of our baby when we have the 20wk scan Wednesday (20th). We are still undecided whether or not we will tell anyone else though?? I'd like to keep it a secret from everyone else so they get the big suprise on the day but Simon is doubting our ability to keep it quiet! :o)

The little one continues to wriggle and jiggle on a daily basis. I haven't gotten so far as to feel hard or painful kicks yet, so Simon still cannot feel it from outside but we know that won't be too far away.

The 17th was our 10yr anniversary as a couple which we celebrated with BBQ breakfast, a morning movie and dinner out last night. It was lovely, and made extra special with the knowledge it would be the last one we would celebrate as a two-some!

We are sooo excited about next weeks scan. I am still a little ambivalent about finding out the sex....I always have said I would never do that. We have pretty much completed our purchases so it's not as if it will make a difference in that regard. I think it is just more that we can know now....or have to wait another 4 months.....why wait! Since beginning this entry earlier in the week, we have now decided that we won't be telling anyone else the outcome. It will be our little secret!

My tummy is well and truly out there now....which is great! Am getting past that yucky part were you just looker fatter but not pregnant.....as it is now more obviously a pregnant tummy with each passing day.

Work is really on the downhill run now and the end can't come a moment too soon. Every day is a struggle to get there now that I know it is ending so soon. By the day's end I am tired and just want to go home early. I love my Wednesday's off though....dont know how I'd ever get through 5 days running if it weren't for the reduced hours?

Only a few more sleeps left before we see our baby!

Week 17-18

4 1/2 months down, 4 1/2 months to go! I know that in weeks it works out a little longer than that, but it is still great to think we are up to the half way mark, round about.

Apparently the recommended weight gain by week 18 is 2.3 - 5.8kg and I have now added 5kg since conception and feel great about it. It may be towards the higher recommended end but is still below the maximum...and for me being anywhere within recommended weight ranges is a nice change. Despite my good intentions I have always feared growing hugely fat when and if I ever got pregnant due to my existing weight problems. And since I lost 5.5kg prior to pregnancy I am still not back up to my starting weight despite being 4 and a half months pregnant! That feel great!

And considering I am already getting some back pain and sleeping difficulties due to my changing shape, I would hate to think what a difference excess weight would make to these problems?

I changed my GP this week, which was a difficult decision to make. My prior GP has been our family Dr since I was 3yrs old and she knows all my mom's complicated medical history and of course all of mine which has always been reassuring. But she has always lacked a little in bedside manner. She's a good Dr and always tells you straight but at times that can be a disadvantage when you are dont want to tell her things for fear of her getting mad at you. I feel really guilty about leaving her practice but I feel that I need to settle in with an approachable Dr before the baby arrives and this new Dr is absolutely lovely. Her books were actually closed (as are all the best Dr's in this town) but because I have had involvement with her at my work I was able to weasle my way into the practice *wink* She is a very sweet and approachable lady and by all reports is a very good practitioner. The only good thing about starting fresh was that she too wanted to have a listen to the baby's heartbeat so I got to hear it again!

I brought home a stethascope from work overnight to see if we could hear anything through that but we had no luck....which didnt really suprise me. I am just so eager for Simon to be able to feel or hear things so that he too can share in the joy that I feel when baby moves around inside me :o) He does feel my tummy and talk to it but it's not the same for him until he feels something back I think. I have started slathering myself in coca-butter on my tummy and chest to prevent future stretch marks so that has become Simon's nightly task *wink*

As this week draws to a close I am now looking at 6 weeks of work left!!! We are now in the pool every weekend (and in fact had our first night time dip last night) and I cannot wait to be in it every day of the week! I have a huge list of cleaning that I want to do before the baby arrives as god knows when I'll get around to cleaning windows, washing walls and cleaning out cupboards once the baby arrives. I guess it is also some of that nesting behaviour that most pregnant women report.

Well today is friday and I must reluctantly get ready for work now....6 weeks or 24 days or 204 hours to go there.......woo-hoo!

Week 16-17

Well I am still slowly adjusting to the loss of my favourite car...tee-he. I do still miss it so :o)

I had my next antenatal clinic this week. I was relieved that the scales showed only a 1.4kg gain over the last month and my blood pressure continued ok.

I had another chance to listen to the heartbeat and neither of us can ever get enough of that little thrill!

I also met with the consultant who had an unfortunately strong accent which meant that I only understood a little of what he was saying. He did a basic ultrasound but the machine was very small and blurry and he didnt explain anything so I was really none the wiser except reassured that all remains well.

I now have my appointment for the 20week scan on November 20th and I can hardly wait. To really look indepth at everything and be reassured that all is as it should will be great. Not to mention the possibility of finding out the sex of the baby. I think if it is not clear or for any other reason we are not able to find out we wont be bothered either way, but if we can find out....I doubt that we will be able to resist the temptation :o)

I did achieve one major job this week. I finished all my christmas shopping....yey! I know it's early but I was beginning to stress about xmas expenses (including a trip to my sister in NSW) and baby buying and finishing work etc so we decided to go out and do it all in one go. I still have my gift (and one from the baby) to buy for Simon but that's it!

We get Chrisco hampers each year too and I am eagerly anticipating the arrival of this years hampers. Because we changed the alcohol one to more food ones after discovery the pregnancy we have $800 worth of various groceries, frozen goods and meats arriving and I cant wait. It's always like an early christmas :o) Bring on Christmas this year.......I'm ready for it!

Week 15-16

Well this week has been an expensive one! As you were all aware I had reluctantly come to the conclusion that I had to sell my beloved little Celica and get a 4 door family car. We had planned to take it to Brisbane this weekend and trade it in there........that was until the engine died on Wednesday!!!!!!!! The mechanic had been warning us for some time to get rid of it but I guess we weren't quick enough :o( So now I had a car which was worth almost nothing and that I had no way of getting the 3hrs to Brisbane. So instead we traded it in for as much as we could get ($2,500) and bought from a car yard here in Hervey Bay. The Celica was a 1989 model...the newest car we had ever owned. The new car is a 1997 Mitsubishi Lancer GLXi wagon!! We feel like we are driving around in a Taxi or one of the govy cars at work as it's sooo new :o) And the compact wagon will be just the shot for a 'family' car ...hehehe. Of course all this meant that we had to borrow much more than we had intended but in the end we have a car that should last us some time and give us the safety and reliability that we desire. But ohhh......I almost shed a tear leaving my little 'sillycar' behind at the car yard :o( Those who know me well know how much I adored it. But I am sure in time I will grow to love the new one almost as much *wink* I have included pics of both cars below.

As for baby, well he/she continues to wiggle about inside me, and it still brings a smile to my face every time! Monday is the 4 month mark, and my next antenatal appointment, when I hope to find out when my next scan will be. We are pretty sure we will go ahead and find out the gender (after Simon talked me into it, then I talked him out of it, then I talked him back into it!) but we are not sure if we will tell others or not?

My other remaining pregnant friend had a terrible scare this week. Her 20wk scan showed the baby had heart abnormalities and a 5mm cyst on the babies brain. She was hurried to Brisbane for further testing and although this is apparently quite common the presence of both together indicates an increased chance of a down syndrome baby. Because of this she has had to have an amniocentesis and now has a 3 wk wait on the results!! How could 3 pregnant friends have such bad luck??

Just when you think you are past the scary 12 week mark.........it reminds us that anything can happen at anytime! Overall my pregnancy has been an absolute breeze and I can only hope that it continues that way!

The car pics are now on the 'Photo's' page (see link above)

Week 14-15

Well another week past brings my working time closer to an ending! I have had no more of the feinting spells... thank god! But I have had yet another new development this week......movment!!!! At first I wasn't sure about what I was feeling but with each passing time I paid more and more attention and sure enough...the little munchkin is making it's presence felt at last. It takes my attention whenever it happens and now I am so eager for it to be strong enough for Simon to feel it on the outside. I have heard it described mostly as butterflies or bubbles popping in books that I have read. For myself, I would describe it as a bit like the bubbles and a bit like a tap-tap or jiggle from inside my tummy. I kept it to myself for a little while until I was sure but before long I couldn't keep it quiet anymore :o) It really begins to make this whole experience so much more real and something tells me it will only get more so from here on in!

I have still stayed absolutely alcohol and cigarette free since conception with out too much difficulty. I know the books say the occasional drink won't hurt but there is no way that I am going to take even the slightest chance with this little one.

My belly continues to grow....I even had family visit from out of town this weekend "to see the belly"!! I am not sure how comfortble I am with my stomach becoming a tourist attraction though....hehehe. Wait till it gets HUGE as I hope that it will :o)

Well enough for now, will write more next week. That is if I can keep my own hands off my stomach long enough *wink*

Week 13-14

It's funny that now that the 12 week point has passed, I am constantly having to work out how far along I am instead of knowing it off by heart. I had a brief flutter of fear when a friend recently told me that week 16 was a high risk week too (Thanks Fiona! :o) just when I thought I was home free), but after talking to a doctor that I work with, I found out that every four week mark is a risk time but that 16 is no more riskier than 20 or 24 etc .......phew!!!

I had the displeasure of experiencing a new symptom this week too.....feinting! I had read about it in all the books but just thought that was yet another thing I was lucky enough not to experience.....wrong! I was all alone in a shop on my lunch break when it came over me with no warning at all. I had been sitting and eating a sandwhich and drink at the time so it wasn't as if I had stood suddenly or was hungry or dehydrated. I couldnt decide whether to excuse myself to the person behind me and move onto the floor or salvage some pride and just try to sit it out. Luckily it passed within about 10 minutes...but having feinted before I know I was mere seconds from it occuring on this occassion. I was pale and pasty yet my face was sweating and the sides of my vision were wavering. When I returned to work I was fussed around with BP machines etc, but the only lasting result was a splitting headache for the rest of the day. So now I am hoping I dont get that again too often. At home would be ok but I felt quite scared going through it alone in a public place *blush*

Nothing else of note to report for myself this week, other than a stomach that continues to change shape. Simon says he can now notice the altering shape and has been a sweety when I moan about getting fat - he just says 'You're not fat, you're pregnant'! He also rings me at home or work most days to ask how his 'two favourite babies' are going! Awww shucks. We talk lots now about future parenting styles and dissolve into fits of giggles about what we are going to do 'when we have a child', fantasising about the roles we have always been prevented from playing and dreaming about our family's future.

I have now begun working 4 days a week and loving every minute of it! 10 weeks to go and counting :o)

Sadly my friend who was having pregnancy troubles (see wk 10) has since miscarried the remaining baby. I am being as supportive as I can while recognising that being around a pregnant me might not be what she needs right now. As much as I, out of the 3 of us who were pregnant, worried about miscarriage I never thought it would happen to either of them! It's so unfair. But she is coping as best she can and is planning to retry in 3 months so I'll be hoping for the best then.

Week 12-13

Well despite all my convictions that I was going to have a scan at my first antenatal clinic...come hell or high water....I didnt get one! However I was placated by the opportunity to hear our babies heartbeat for the first time on the doppler machine. It was AMAZING. They explained that at 12 wks I shouldn't worry if they couldn't find it..........yeah right!!!...lucky for them, and me that they could. It was only a brief listen because then they lost the position and couldn't find it again...but it was enough to get me through to my next scan at 18-20 wks. Everything else went fine and I was relieved by the friendy, caring nature of the midwives there.

I am continuing to blitz the stores for baby goods and am rapidly filling the designated room *wink*.

This week has been physically free from troubles...except tiredness and a memory like a 90 year old alzheimers patient! I had read that pregnancy made you forgetful but this is ridiculous. The only advantage of this is the extra exercise I am getting going back and forth for all the things I forget around the place :o).

Something very strange has happened to my belly this week. One day it seemed normal then the next I wake up, make the mistake of looking in a mirror and shriek at the strange 'popped out' look my belly seems to have taken on!!!! I have still only gained 4kg in total (which is still less then my original weight prior to my weight watchers efforts just before conception) so I know it is not just fat-gut-syndrome??? It is exciting to see the changes but I get paranoid that it is too early and people will just assume it is me getting fatter!! lol But gee if I have a belly now... what the hell am I gonna be like at 9 months!!!!

At last my 4 day work week starts next week and it isn't a moment too soon :o) Did I mention I now only have 11 weeks left to work! So now as well as my baby shopping I am madly gathering xmas presents before my money dries up too!

Oooh to win the lotto!

Week 11-12

Wow it felt good to write that....week 12! At times it felt like I would never make it to that point......but here I am - 3 days away from the 3 month mark and it feels FANTASTIC!

Things continue fairly uneventful. I am looking forward to my first ante-natal clinic on Monday and hoping for a scan then too. I have been thinking a lot lately about labour. In the past it has always been something that has made me cringe at the mere thought and I have often made jokes about it being like pulling your bottom lip over your head (just try what that feels like!). However now that I know that this is not something that I 'may' have to face 'in the future' but in fact will have to face in 6 short months it is quite another matter :o)

I am not really panicking yet and I know enough to tell myself that every women's labour is different and I shouldn't be too terrified by the horror stories....which I might add seem to come thick and fast from women who should know better than to share them with a first time pregnant women! I have also been reading a lot about epidurals and how although they may decrease your ability for movement and control that they also remove almost all the pain and can make the birth experience more pleasure than horror. I would be interested to hear from anyone with an epidural experience or story...but please spare me the truly scarey ones....like the workmate who recently told me about her 'episiotomy the size of texas'...oh my god!!

I get a weekly email which tells me about the weeks developments for the baby and apparently mine will now have eyelids and completed facial features and even ribs and other bones. I heard a funny excuse the other day if someone accuses me of looking tired.....I'll just tell them I've been busy making eyebrows all night! lol

I guess it is only natural but I have noticed that my mother is occupying a lot more of my thoughts of late. For those of you who may not know, my mom died when I was 20yrs old (In fact 7 yrs ago this November 25th). A few weeks back I had a dream that she was walking in my back yard...looking reall happy and healthy and I had the opportunity to tell her about my pregnancy...and of course show her my house and our other baby (dog Coda) and let her see how happy Simon and I were. In some way I like to think that this was her way of making contact and telling me she was with me through this....if not in body then at least in spirit! I do however wish I was able to ask her questions about her pregnancies and share my fears with her. Of course I can still talk to her, but sadly, she does not talk back :o(

Week 10-11

Another week gone and now only one week away from the end of the first trimester!

Nothing much to say for this week......only very rare sickness, no other discomfort and thankfully no more falls.

I have kept a close eye on my weight and so far have gained only 3.5kg over the last 11 weeks and I am pretty happy with that. Apparently one should aim for 12-16kg throughout the entire pregnancy so I think less than four kilo's gained by one third of the way is doing ok.

I havent really taken any pics yet but I must take one soon so I can start to monitor the changes. Of course my tummy is already bigger than most so the changes wont be noticeable for a while but I'll see how things go.

Sadly my friend Jodie had some tragic news regarding her pregnancy. After a massive bleed it was found that she has lost one of twins (which she didnt know she had) and there appears to be some abnormality with the remaining feotus but we are all hoping and praying that the remaining baby will come through strong and healthy.

I honestly do not know how I would cope with such news after working so long to get this far. But despite her success at falling pregnant easily it makes this no less of a tragedy for her or partner.

On a brighter note, only two more weeks till I drop down to working 4 days a week and only 13 weeks left all up!!! Not that I am counting mind you *wink* Yippeee :o)

I continue to buy baby things and have now added nappy bag, steriliser, nappies and baby monitor to my acquired bits and pieces. The baby monitor I found was great because not only was it reduced from the usual $100 down to $80 but also the baby's monitor handset is actually a teddy bear shaped night light. My end is the usual walky-talky looking unit. We are now starting to arrange the furniture and supplies in the room and hubby is stripping and repainting a set of drawers as I sit here typing. See I knew I married a painter for something!!!! :o)

Week 9-10

Well this week was one full of fears and stress and huge joys as well. The fear originated from a fall that I had at work on Tuesday. Clumsy clot that I am lately.... I went to step over a gutter - didnt step high enough and kicked it instead and fell forwards in a heap! Luckily my knees and arms took most of the fall but I was still terrified to think that I could have harmed my baby. After finally relaxing about miscarriage and beginning to think that maybe this baby was going to happen after all I had to go and fall over. I literally cannot remember the last time I fell over so why did it have to happen now. Anyway after a sleepless night I decided to book into the Dr the next day and ask for a scan. I hadn't had any bleeding but I did have a return of the mild crampy feelings of old and that scared me. Thankfully the Doc was happy to order the scan for my own peace of mind more than anything else. At first the x-ray place couldnt fit me in but one look at my face changed their mind and I then set about skulling a liter of water in preperation for it. This was on Sept 11 (my husbands birthday) so he hurried down to join me as I didnt want him missing out on a look at our baby.

The scan seemed to take forever to get a good picture but when it did it was amazing! The tic-tac of old was now 2.83cm and had a heart rate of 174. We also got to see little leg movements :o) It was such a relief and such a huge buzz at the same time. What better birthday present for Simon than to see his unborn child was safe and well and 4 times the size that we had last seen them to be. Their were some limb buds formed for arms but the picture wasnt too clear because I had only just drank the water so now I really cannot wait for the next, more advanced scan.

It's funny that out of myself and my two close friends who are also pregnant we have all had scares leading to early scan's! Donna had one early due to pain, Jodie had one early due to bleeding and I had this one due to the fall. God if we all come through this in one piece it will be a miracle!!

In other great news, my email buddy who has been a great support to me during my efforts to get pregnant, is finally ready for her 1st IVF transfer this Sunday so please everyone please join with me in sending Marion the bestest good luck vibes you can!!!!

I cannot believe I will be 10wks on Monday. This is going sooo fast...the first trimester will be over before I know it :o)

Week 8-9

At last....into the 3rd month and all remains well. The occassional nausea continues but nothing that I cannot handle. Compared to some horror stories that I have heard I am fairing quite well in comparison :o)

I went for my GP check up this week and she too was stoked to hear my news. She confirmed that all the initial blood tests etc were fine and we discussed my future care options. I was sort of unsure of how to let her know that I wanted to go complete care by the ante-natal clinic instead of shared care with herself but she made that easy. She said that because of my weight I was at an increased risk of gestational diabetes....well her words were "You are a sitting duck for it" (as tactful as usual)! Anyway because of this she recommended that I continue exclusively with them so that made my decision much easier. I am still counting down the days to the first clinic as I am hoping they will do another scan on that day and I cannot wait to see the latest developments!

This week I finally made my first foray into the pool and.........OH MY GOD! Once I got in I stayed in almost all weekend. It was heavenly and I'm sure it's a great form of exercise while being supported by the water. Now I really can't wait to finish work so I can swim away my days :o)

My weight has stayed steady for a couple weeks now so that's good. I haven't really noticed any specific cravings. I have, I suppose, had short lived desires for food that I havent eaten in ages eg chocolate milk, chicken twisties and sweet pickles (not together). Each though has only lasted a day or two and then I havent been able to stomach them since?? I guess they must be cravings in some form but there hasnt been one long lasting one that I have noticed yet?

Anyway, not that I am counting but I only have....15 more weeks of work to go!!!! :o)

Week 7-8

Well I have now reached the 2 months stage. Only one more month to go to get through that first risky trimester. Although I am much more relaxed about the outcome of this pregnancy I will still be pleased to be past that point :o)

Despite previous hopes of no morning sickness.....it would seem that my smug satisfaction was a little premature!! This week I have begun to experience the joys of this morning sickness.....or afternoon sickness........or evening sickness........depending on the day *wink*. Mostly it seems to hit me in the evening when my body is already tired but this is manageable because at least if I am at home I can stop and relax until it passes. I have only thrown up on one occassion but have had ongoing nausea which is often eased by eating something. This of course means I have to be even more mindful of my food choices so that this cure doesnt cause new problems!

I could almost set my watch by my afternoon exhaustion which usually hits about 2-2.30pm. I really begin to drag my feet at work and dream of my comfy bed at home. Because of this and the nausea I have requested to reduce my work hours to 4 days a week and am looking forward to beginning these reduced hours as soon as they can replace me for the other day - hopefully in the next couple of weeks.

I have also set my finishing date as December 20th. I have holidays then until January 1st then I will start Maternity leave January 2nd. I know I will only be 6 months by then but I dont care. I am looking forward to putting my feet up for the last 3 months of my pregnancy (if in fact it is that long given my sisters history of premature births). I also intend to spend my time floating around my pool and taking it easy instead of waddling around work and stressing out all day :o)

So needless to say I cannot wait for December to come!!! Only 16 working weeks to go!!! For the first time in my recent life I am also super anxious for the warmer summer weather to arrive so that I can go swimming in our new pool. My husband is already lapping it up almost daily but the specialist advised that I wait until it is a little warmer so that I do not shock my body with the cold water at this stage.

So bring on summer......december.......the end of my work for a while.....and bring on this baby because I cannot wait to meet he or she!! This week, Simon also convinced me to find out the gender of the baby. I always said I'd never do this but it would make buying things easier and it can still be kept a suprise from the rest of the family. Anyway gotta dash to work now...counting down the days. I have my first appointment with my family GP this week so can't wait toshare my news with her! Will keep you all posted.

Week 6-7

This week we saw our baby for the first time!!!!

Admittedly it was just a tiny tic-tac sized blip on the monitor, but the best part was the blink, blink, blink of it's little heart beating. Simon was present and we both couldn't wipe the grin off our faces for hours after :o)

Even the specialist seemed pleased with his efforts - letting out a little woop of joy himself. Apparently I am the third consecutive successful pregnancy he has produced using Metformin for the treatment of PCOS.

The official dating was 6 weeks and 4 days (on 22/8) so each week will tick over on a Monday...only three days out from what we had guessed. My due date has now been set at April 11 2003.....one day before our 6th wedding anniversary.

The baby was only 7.1mm long but may as well have been fully grown for all the joy and confidence seeing that tiny beating heart brought us :o)

I have now booked into the ante-natal classes at my local hospital and go along for my first visit at 12 weeks (Sept 30).

I have continued to gather goods for the nursery and am rapidly running out of room already. My mother in law is madly knitting jumpers and booties and making custom made bedding for the cradle and cot which will save a fortune! (Thanks Rhonda! )

I have begun to gain a little weight from relaxing my previous weight watcher habits so now that I am aware of that I intend to keep a close eye on that and in fact try to loose back a little of what I have gained before I begin to gain weight in earnest as the pregnancy progresses. I dont intend to deprive me or the baby of essential nutrients in doing this - just be a little more mindful of my food choices.

I still have no signs of any morning sickness and the specialist says that if I havent had any by now I may be one of the lucky ones who misses out on that - Thank God!!

I really wish that my mother were alive to share this with me but I know that in some way she will anyway :o) In the meantime my sisters and my mother in law are super supportive and offering tons of advice and tips.

Already I cannot wait to finish work but as I have found out that I will be eligible for long service next February, I am probably going to have to continue working up to 7 months to make that point...all going well of course.

I find myself looking at mom's and bub's everywhere now and dreaming what my life will be like when it is changed forever after the baby's arrival. Not that I didnt look at these women for the last 5 yrs of trying but at that stage it always had a 'what if' quality to it......now it 'IS' going to happen and in only 7 short months!!!

Week 5-6....

Another week passed incident free and another big sigh of relief! I still live every day in fear of something going wrong but at the same time am getting better at putting it to the back of my mind and telling myself all will go well. In a show of that good faith I have begun the task of buying nursery furniture and equiptment.

So far I have begun buying small items like bottles, wipes, creams etc each shopping day. I also found a great baby carrier/sling to wear on my chest while keeping hands free for other things :o). The bigger purchases included a cradle, a cot, a pram and a change table. All of these I priced new at $800 but instead got some great second hand bargains for only $400 in total! Excellant saving :o)

I have had no further nausea and only one occasion of heartburn but I'm sure I wont continue to get off quite that easily *wink*

With only a week to go until my first scan we can hardly wait for it. For one I think it will provide great reassurance that things are going ok and also it will really bring it home that this really is happening.

Another hard made decision made is our plan to sell my car. I absolutely love my '89 Celica and have been a mad keen Celica buff for some time. This is my 3rd model and my next purchase was to be a '94 but alas this has been nipped in the bud at the 11th hour. Because it is only 2 door and is also significantly lowered, I have a hard enough time now getting in and out. I tried to believe that putting baby in and out over front seat wouldnt be too hard but in reality this is a case of wishful thinking. So now we must reluctantly sell my 'baby-car' for a 4 door vehicle :o( We plan to do this next weekend after the scan shows all is going well. Sad but a neccessity I say...besides I would choose this new baby over my car any day!

My time off work is coming to an end now sadly...but I am pleased to think that I will be taking an extended break from it from December...cant wait for that!

Fingers crossed all goes well in next weeks scan and I will update following this.

Week 4-5....

Well, one week later and I am still pinching myself to ensure this isnt all some cruel dream. My body however is doing it's best to reassure me otherwise. I have had only two mild bouts of nausea so far but my breasts permanently feel like two open wounds on my chest and tonight I am having my first taste of heartburn. I would be a rich girl if I had a dollar for every time I had to pee too :o) I am also feeling the occassional sensation in my stomach like a bubble bursting is the best way I can describe it. I guess that is a sign of all the busy work happening in that area!!

I have changed from my folic acid to a pregnancy specific multi -vitamin which incorporates folic acid, and have commenced daily walks on the advice of my sister who swears it will make for an easier birth. Also as I was on weight watchers to begin with I really don't want to put on any more weight during this pregnancy than I have to! I am thinking about everything I eat and have dramatically increased my fruit and dairy intake and my already high vegetable intake.

I am still desperate for the week 7 scan to hurry up and arrive and also for my GP from childhood to return from holidays so I can share my news with her and begin regular antenatal care. In the meantime I have obtained a pathology request form from another Dr for my blood work up and had my blood pressured checked at 120/83. Not too bad he says but it will need monitoring throughout.

We have now told most people about the pregnancy. I know that a lot of people will wait until after the first trimester is over but as many people knew of our recent treatments they were all asking us anyway. And besides we were bursting to share our news with the world *wink*.

My greatest fear currently is miscarriage. I cannot even begin to imagine how we could deal with that after working so hard and long just to reach this point. My two sisters have had 4 miscarriages between them and I am hoping that this is not an indication of how my own pregnancy will progress.

The baby is still my first waking thought and all I can think of when I go to bed. I am forever rubbing my tummy without even noticing it sometimes as I am just so inpatient to meet whoever awaits inside. And for a first time mother to be I am constantly bewildered that in a few months I will actually feel something moving around inside of me! That's usually the stuff of Alien movies *wink*

I am currently having a much needed two week break from work and giving myself plenty of rest and relaxation. I am also devouring anything I can find to read on pregnancy. I have purchased two great books called 'What to expect when you are expecting' and one charmingly titled 'Up the duff' by Kaz Cook. Both of which are great resources and have helped to allay my fears about mild cramping that I had experienced in the last week. All perfectctly normal apparently.

Anyway speaking of rest it is almost midnight but I was determined to get this site up and running so I wouldn't miss a thing along the way. I am pretty weary at the best of times so I best head off now and get some sleep while I still can! :o)

To week 4.....

Those who know us know well, know the long and bumpy road that we have travelled in our desperation to have children. Over 5 years I had many a dose of Clomid without success and many half hearted attempts at success (there is only so long a couple can work 100% on overcoming infertility without a break).

We had sperm tests and blood tests and laparoscopies and lots of advice. The most common of all was "forget about it and it will happen" (possibly the most infuriating and insensitve comment one can make to an infertile couple). My infertility was due to Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome - not 'thinking about it too much'!

In any case, during July 2002 we had yet another concentrated effort for success. An IVF specialist from Brisbane travelled to a nearby city once a month and more frequently on the months he was conducting an IVF program. Luckily for us, July was one of those months.

He instigated a double dose of clomid but when an ultrasound showed no progress I was prescribed a second double dose within the same cycle. In conjunction to this I was also taking the diabetic medication 'Metformin' which has shown good success in the treatment of PCOS (and since this was my first try on this medication I would say it contributed to my success also).

When finally another ultrasound showed a developing egg, I added progesterone to the mix to promote growth of the uterine lining and commenced daily self administered injections of follicle stimulating hormone. Finally the day arrived when I was told the follicle which would later release the egg had grown to the required size and I was given a triggering injection of the pregnancy hormone HCG. This triggered ovulation exactly 36hrs later.

Between all these pills and injections and the folic acid suppliment I had been taking for weeks I was so sick most of the time that loosing 5.5kg on the Weight Watchers program was a breeze. These weight loss efforts were also in the name of fertility as I had been told that loosing weight could increase my chances by 50%

Then came the wait. Being the inpatient person that I am I couldn't resist doing a pregnancy test 3 days later (yes early I know). It turned out positive and then I had to go about finding out if it could have been the injection of HCG (the same hormone that a pregnancy test detects) causing the positive result. The very next morning I was told that yes, this was almost certainly the case.

Depsite the dissapointment of this I continued to test on a daily basis. After about 4-5 days though the positive results began to fade and with much anguish we accepted another failure.

Another 4 days later I did one final test before a planned alcool binge that weekend (needed to drown my sorrows after staying sober and ciggy free for weeks in preperation). It was very early in the morning and the result was a super fine positive and I assumed that was that and went back to bed. However when I woke 2 hrs later I was excited to see a strong positive in the test window. I showed Simon who at first thought it was a test from the week before then set about telling myself not to get my hopes up again...it had been one hell of a month.

In any case I had a blood test that morning and by 1.30 on Friday 2nd August I had confirmed I was pregnant. In the interim I had confirmed with my specialist that it definately could not still be the injection 14 days after administration.

I told Simon first....of course, and he initially mistook my tears of joy for a negative result but was thrilled to hear that our luck had finally changed.

My stars the previous Sunday had said that what I had been working towards and dreaming of all year would finally come true now! Guess that wasnt far off the mark.

We were finally pregnant! Although I couldn't really believe it was true I stumbled along in a dream world awaiting the ultrasound booked for week 7. An ultrasound that will, either way, change my life and Simon's, forever!