JournalJanMar06

Thursday, 30th March 2006...

Ok…some general housekeeping regarding the challenge before I get into my update. We have only one week to go now! Wow how fast has that gone? With every passing week more and more people are quitting. Each week that you are behind in stats I add a ‘?’ to your line and when you have 4 you are removed. That’s one month grace period for late stats and to be honest that’s more then some of you deserve I think? But I am trying to be flexible (not my strongest point *wink*) while still preserving my own sanity. So if you find yourself no longer in the challenge you will know why. That’s not to say that it cannot be undone. If you have been removed and still want to finish then just drop me an email with an updated weight and all can be fixed up.

It has given me much cause for thought in any case. I was planning to begin another challenge on April 18th or 25th but I wonder if I should bother?? So much of my time is spent on the challenge…that is fine as I truly enjoy the motivation I receive from it … but I find it hard not to resent those who take my time for granted??

Should I run another challenge? Is twelve weeks too long for most people to maintain their commitment? It would seem so for a lot of people?

Yet there are so many of you who have been consistently excellent, sending in stats every week and truly making this a pleasure to run. To those I say ‘Thank You’. To those who muck me around… find some other poor sucker next time!

:) So do let me know what you think ok? Any suggestions for the next challenge will be gratefully accepted and appreciated!

Ok…. so on with the more pleasant topics.

The week got off to a rocky start for me this week. As you know my weigh in day has always been a ‘free day’ for me. One that I do not track and my once a week opportunity for a take away meal and a few treats. I know that this costs me and always has. I diet and exercise my weight down at the end of every week only to have it jump up 1-2kg the first day of the new week after my free day. I know a lot of that is related to salty, high carb foods etc and most of it moves down again quite quickly. However I have always wondered what I could achieve if I didn’t do this?? Just imagine!

This week in the meeting (due to working them I actually went to two meetings this week which was great motivation and food for thought)… a lady that I have always looked up to admitted to doing the exact same thing. This woman started at almost the same weight as me and has lost over 40kg to now be at her own goal weight. We are the same height etc so she has always been very inspirational to me (although in truth I guess I’ve never really told her this – I must do that!). Anyway she admitted to doing the one ‘pig out day’ a week as she called it and said that she was able to continue this right up until the last 5kg or so before her goal when she really had to tighten things up to make the finish line. I really must find the time to talk to her at the next opportunity about all this I think?

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes this week! Well I had leftovers of Chinese take away in the fridge come Wednesday (usually my day 1 of the new week) and I just couldn’t resist them. So my one free day this week turned into two…Ooops!

But nothing to be done now but get back at it … which I have done today. My alarm didn’t go off this morning and I didn’t wake until 6am (yes Caleb is FINALLY starting to sleep past 5.15am as the morning stay darker). By this time it was too late to go before Simon went to work so instead I took Caleb with me to the Esplanade at 7am for a 1hr walk in his pram. I really do treasure the time alone to walk each morning usually but it’s nice to take him with me occasionally. He never, and I mean NEVER, stops talking the whole way and asking questions etc so it’s not exactly quiet time for me but that’s what you get with an inquisitive 3yr old I guess *hehehehe* I’m just glad he enjoys the walk and that I am setting a good example for him to remember in future years.

This afternoon I’ll be hitting the gym when Simon gets home for a second hour of exercise today and I have got right back to eating well today. At this stage the scales are back to 91.6 but I’m confident I can get them down into the 80’s by next weeks weigh-in. I was saying to Simon last night that I will do this even if it means I have to walk/workout all bloody weekend *wink* I WANT those 80’s!! :)

If only I’d stop sabotaging myself long enough I know I could get there so much quicker but so be it. I do what enables me to keep going and with so far to go it’s all that I have been able to do.

I’m kind of rambling here so I’ll leave it for now. Caleb has just woken from his nap and I’ve lost my train of thought somewhat.

I guess the short version is…I’m making it – no matter how slow it goes or how much faster it could be done. I will get to the finish!

TFTD: “I cannot change yesterday, I can make the most of today and look with hope toward tomorrow!”

Cheers P

PS...

Oooh bugger I forgot to say.

Check out these GORGEOUS flowers my hubby Simon brought home yesterday afternoon with a card that read “Congratulations and good luck for tomorrow!”

You see I was so close to the 80’s on my home scales yesterday morning that he was sure I’d make it today.

And I did. On my home scales this morning I saw my first ever 80’s result in about…Umm 10yrs??. It said 89.9 and I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face all morning (until I stood on the WW ones *wink*)

He is a sweet sweet man!

Luv Ya!

Tuesday, 28th March 2006...

Aaaargh!!!!!!

No!!

I didn’t gain so don’t worry.

But gosh darn it I was so damn close to the 80’s I wanted to scream – “Wait I need to go pee!” Cause that’s all it would have taken to make the 80’s.

I weighed in today at 90.0kg!

I’m still stoked of course. 1.1kg gone for the week’s hard work and now any loss is guaranteed to see me into the 80’s next week :)

I’ve done 6hrs of exercise since Saturday morning and I’m taking the afternoon off!

One more week of the challenge to go now … let’s pull out all stops for a ripper finish!!!!

TFTD: “The race is not always to the swift … but to those who keep on running!”

Cheers P

Sunday, 26th March 2006...

Hooray! An update two days in a row – things are looking up around here :)

Actually Simon and Caleb are out running errands so I FINALLY got Caleb's site updated with all his birthday news. You can check it out here. I also updated his album with all the birthday snaps (some new ones of me included) that you can see here. I also finally caught up on all the stats late last night. And since they are still not home I figured I may as well dash out an update for today too while I was on a roll!

I guess I don’t have a lot to say since last night. I finished yesterday very low on points and have done the same today so far.

This morning we took Caleb down the Esplanade as planned for an hours ride on his bike. By the time we made it back to the car he was complaining of tired legs the poor little fella!

Simon walked beside him while I worked out harder. I did some walking, a lot of jogging and telling Caleb to ‘catch me’…or I just jogged up ahead then back to them. I did 10 sets of running up and down staircases along the way + 10 push-ups, + 1min step-ups, + 25 dips and 10 soft sand path runs and by the time I was done I felt like I had done a really good work out.

This afternoon I am going to do another hours walk also. I’m trying everything I can to ensure a loss this week. At this stage it will still be a very close call but so long as I stay in the 91’s I can handle a little gain if it happens. Just don’t put me back into the dreaded 92’s again whatever happens or I’ll lose it!!! *wink*

Ok…well like I said. Just a quick one. I hope everyone is enjoying his or her Sunday.

Oh and did you notice we have now lost over 300kg as a group!!!!!!

WOW EVERYBODY!!!

TFTD: “When I am giving of my best, that is when I feel successful!”

Cheers P

Saturday, 25th March 2006...

Boy I have been so slack with updating this week!

Will do better from now on…I’ve just been busy with life I guess :)

It’s 10pm now and I’ve been updating challenge stats for the last hour. I really want to go to bed but I also want to get this done first so let me quickly recap.

Wednesday night I worked at WW and learnt the new job of product sales table…. sweet. Was much less stressful then the recorders job but I’m still happy to do either when needed. On Tuesday I do the product sales job solo at the Tuesday morning meeting, which is much busier so I hope that all goes ok?

Thursday Caleb and I went to see a musical show at his daycare center together. A lady singing songs and playing guitar etc that he really enjoyed. I also finally got back into some exercise again with a 50min morning walk.

Friday I did another 50min morning walk plus an aquarobics class. However as the Enforcer is away in NZ at World Titles for out-rigging the replacement instructor left a little to be desired. It was a guy who was very friendly, funny and enthusiastic – but just not an ‘enforcer’ *wink* I think we finished about 5-10 minutes early…and I think the workout was about 40% of the usual intensity so I was a bit disappointed with that. It was also bloody freezing so while I won't go to any more until the Enforcer is back…even then I may call it quits until Summer as it’s just no fun to be freezing!

A funny thing happened on Friday too. I was out doing some clothes shopping and discovered Rivers clothing stores for the first time and was thrilled with two reasonably affordable shirt purchases I made. Anyway I ran into this woman who is a friend of my mother in laws and her son’s are friends of my brother in law. Anyhoo – she stops me and says she has a bone to pick with me (!). She asks me what I am doing getting all skinny and leading her sons astray (!!). Hehehe. Turns out her 17yr old son asked his mom “Have you seen Paulene lately? She’s lost heaps of weight and she’s looking really HOT!”.

Hot!!

Me??

Hehehehe I told her I’ll give him a big kiss for that next time I see him *wink*

It sure is nice to hear those sorts of things, even if they are from a sex starved 17 year old boy. *wink*

And a week or so ago Simon had a similar story from a work friend who’s friend had seen me out and about but argued if he had in fact seen me or someone else. Apparently he was saying ‘but Paulene used to be much bigger and this girl looked just like her but was WAY thinner’…turns out it was me apparently so woo-hoo to the complimentary stranger!! :)

That didn’t stop me from drinking a 6 pack of beers Friday night with friends mind you and eating some seriously questionable late night munchie food. But I can live with that. I’ve been super careful today, done another 50min walk and am planning on taking Caleb for a long Esplanade walk tomorrow – Simon and I walk, he rides. That should help to combat any potential damage.

In any case I’ll be weighing in on Tuesday morning while I am there so I’ll just have to wait and see how it goes.

Today, March 25th has many meanings for me. In 1993 my brother in law was killed in a semi smash on this day aged only 25yrs old. In 1994 Simon and I got engaged on this day. In 2003 we brought Caleb home from the hospital and into our new lives as a family. So on this day, kiss those you love, tell them how much your care and be thankful for time spent together. Life can be too short for regrets!

TFTD: “You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore!”

Cheers P

Wednesday, 22nd March 2006...

Yikes!

Again I have let days slip by without updates. Sorry about that – have been too busy with my little birthday boy :)

My baby boy Caleb turned 3 yrs old yesterday …. Aww where did the time go? He had a fantastic day and was thoroughly spoiled with presents. I won’t go into too much detail here as I will be telling the full story on his site on Friday when I have more time to update while he is at daycare. I’ll let you know when it’s done and those who are interested can read about it there.

Ummm what else?

Well I didn’t weigh in this week. My usual meeting day fell on Caleb’s birthday and we were too busy having fun! I am going to the meeting for some more work training tonight but I don’t want to weigh in on a different day/time and screw up my figures. Besides…as I said it was a fine line this week anyway so I’m happy to just wait for next week now.

My leader phoned my yesterday to ask me to come in tonight and be trained for the job as the shop/product sales person. Then next Tuesday I have to do the job solo to fill in for someone else. I’ll just have to be shown the weigher job next and then I’ll be good to fill in for anyone in any position who is away so that will be great.

I have been suffering terribly with a shocking TOM at the moment. My last two were virtually non-existent so I guess by body is making up for lost time by punishing me horribly with this one :( As a result I have not exercised for 2 days and look unlikely to get any done today either. I’ve also had some tummy bug that kept me up all Monday night with horrific stomach cramps that had me feint from the pain…ugh! So between a bit of comfort eating and lack of exercise it’s a good thing I didn’t weigh this week *wink* hehehe But I’m back on board with the eating today and will be out walking again tomorrow morning so I’ll be weighing next week regardless of the result.

As of today I have a new goal too! As you may recall I was hoping to be at my goal weight by my birthday this June 29th. But as that requires a loss of 15.1kg in 14 weeks I know I’m never going to make that! But today I have a new plan in mind.

I have just booked a weeklong holiday on the Gold Coast (Burleigh Heads) from Oct 27th this year. We are going with our mate Scotty, his mom, his sister, (my friend) her husband and their 5 children. I’m so excited about it and I know that it is going to be a total blast! However when I joined these same people for the day trip to Fraser Island last month I didn’t even get in the water for fear of how I would look in my swimmers. I REFUSE to spend this holiday the same way!

So it is my goal to be a lifetime member of WW by my departure. So that means losing 15.1kg and completing 6wks of maintenance to achieve lifetime status…. in 31 weeks. Much more to my speed I think as I have averaged about 0.5kg a week up to this point so that should work in good. I’m going to use it as my motivation to finish this journey once and for all!!

And for all those asking about another challenge…. Yes! I will be starting another 12wk challenge after this one is finished. I’ll probably allow about 2 weeks in between to get everyone signed up etc and start the new challenge Monday 24th April. Don’t send any join-up emails just yet until the current challenge is done ok? Keep tuned to this space for more info in the next 2-3 weeks :) By the way…we are up to 290kg+ so far a group…we are SO going to smash the 300kg mark!!!!!!

TFTD: “Persistence prevails when all else fails!”

Cheers P

Sunday, 19th March 2006...

Phew!

Finally some time free to update. Sorry for the absence.

Ok…so let me recap on the weekend…

Friday was the only bump on an otherwise great week. The day itself went well…. a 45min walk in the morning, but this time I took a new route which had 3 very steep hills to climb. It was great to really up the intensity of the morning session for a change. Then later that morning I did the 1hr Power Bar session at the gym (like body pump).

I found it much less difficult this week too! Although the lunges and squats still left me with jelly legs the recovery was faster and the day after aches much less then in the past. That was encouraging to me so I have decided to make it a permanent Friday thing. I’ve been doing aqua a lot of the time on a Friday morning after dropping Caleb at daycare but since I already do aqua on a Monday night I decided the toning and muscle building of the Power Bar would be much more beneficial.

I’m really happy with the improvements in my legs and I’m excited to see what all the squats and lunges can do to improve my upper, inner thighs. My legs are pretty good right up to that point now so it’s the last thing I want to improve in that area. The best part is now when I am wearing my new size 16 short denim skirt (and I mean short!) my thighs don’t touch each other at all until the very top…. Joy!! :) Hehehe

Friday lunchtime I came close to a bad case of emotional eating. Simon and I had this huge, silly fight and my immediate reaction was to go out and get something fatty like chicken and chips for lunch. I knew at the time that it was emotions based, not hunger, and that I would only be filled with remorse if I did it. But I was so angry I wanted to anyway. So I went out, via my corner store, and I stopped in there and got a magazine and a tube of Lifesavers (lollies for 1.5pts)…then went home and had a WW frozen meal instead. It was a close call but it’s one that I know I would not have even recognized in the past so it felt great to not only see it for what it was but to conquer it as well!

That night we went out to the pub with friends and it turned into quite a night!! I had 12 vodka and diet cokes (counted in my 12 bonus points for the week) by the time the night was through and we stumbled home into bed about 3am. I did succumb to some ice cream and chocolate sauce at the end of the evening but all things considered I can live with that decision.

Yesterday I got right back on track to undoing any damage. I got a 45min walk done (with one hill climb) and ate healthy all day. I even got McDonald’s for Simon and Caleb for tea when they wanted it then came home and cooked a stir-fry for me :) Yummy! I finished the day on 20/22 points.

TOM also arrived yesterday which explains that chocolate and ice cream urge I had Friday night. I’m really not much for chocolate most of the time except for one week a month *wink* Sadly it brought with it an increase on the scales but one that I am hoping I may be able to rectify. As of this morning I am 1.5kg up from last week but I am hoping that as TOM moves on and some extra exercise catches up I may just be able to pull off a small loss this week. I’m so close to the 90’s I’d love to make that but at the end of the day I’ll be happy with ANY loss.

Today we went for a family bike ride this morning for 50mins. It was very windy and we tackled my old nemesis – the mega hill – on the way home and I can still make it all the way up without stopping…something I could never do 9 months ago :) This afternoon, after Caleb and I make his birthday cakes, I am going to squeeze in a 1hr walk before coming home and cooking a roast chicken dinner – Yum!

Caleb will be 3yrs old on Tuesday so this week we have moved his day-care day back to the Monday as Simon will take the Tuesday off and we will spend the day together celebrating as a family before going to his McDonald’s party that evening with 12 of his friends. As a result I am free to not only do my 1hr morning walk tomorrow and my 1hr aqua class in the evening…but I am also going to go to the 9am Taibo Combat class at the gym. Then a 1hr walk on Tuesday morning will bring me up to weigh-in and hopefully a good result??? It’s just too close to call for now but even if I gain I think it will be minimal and I know I will have done all I can so …. That’s life! :)

After his nap today, Caleb and I are going to make chocolate cupcakes for his party and another batch to go to day-care with him tomorrow to share with his friends there. I’ve always done a big cake for previous years but as he has yet to even eat a piece of cake (he doesn't like much sweet food) I decided cup cakes would be easier this year. The McDonald’s party supply an ice-cream cake but of course Caleb cannot eat that due to his dairy allergy. So we will make soy friendly cupcakes for everyone and he can have candles on his to blow out. I’ve hunted down really bright cupcake cases to use and bought some great cupcake picks off Ebay. They are in the theme of Bob the Builder and are basically little picture discs with a spike under them to push down into each cupcake. I hope the end result are bright and funky and that he likes them…I KNOW he’s really going to like cooking them with me this afternoon!

Anyhoo…. I think I’ve wasted enough of your time rabbiting on for now. I just wanted to mention how well all the challengers are going…. Bravo! It looks like we will crack the 300kg mark before the challenge is through. How AMAZING is it to be a part of that!?

TFTD: “Success is getting what you want – happiness is wanting what you get!”

Cheers P

Wednesday, 15th March 2006...

You know that old saying ‘Nothing tastes as good as success feels’? It is SO true!

Since finally breaking my plateau yesterday my whole mindset has changed. I feel refreshed, revived and ready to start the next chapter of this journey. The long lasting stalemate had really dented my confidence and made me focus on how little I was achieving instead of remembering how far I had come.

Now I feel like I never stopped. I’m confident that I’m going to make it. Usually I take Wednesday off as a long awaited sleep in and have a day off exercise … but not today. I was out the door at 5.40am (the increasing darkness has delayed my previously 5am walk) and feeling fine. I did mostly walking but took a new route today to include a short but steep hill, which I jogged up. I also did one other spurt of jogging for about 150-200m but otherwise just enjoyed a nice brisk walk.

Food wise today has been great. 20.5 out of 22 points so all good there.

I did my last night of work at WW tonight. I’m now on reserve to replace someone if needed until I hear more about the possibility of a permanent slot on the Tuesday morning group.

I wanted to say a big GOOD LUCK to Kim (aka The Enforcer) and her team!! They are off to New Zealand tomorrow to compete in the World Titles of outrigging…how inspiring is that!? Go team and kick some ass!!!

Not much else to say today. Simon and I both got new mobiles yesterday so we are busy playing with the new features. They both have cameras this time and mine even takes up to 1hr of video footage as well! Heaps of fun. Mine is the Samsung Z500 and it rocks!! Simon got a new Nokia…blah I’m not a fan of Nokia myself but it does the job for him :)

Ok well…I think I’ll leave it there for now. Hope everyone has a great Thursday planned. Caleb and I are going to find a park to feed some ducks then hit the library for our weekly stash of 24 books (all his I might add!). Have a great one!

TFTD: “One week of neglect could mean one month of repair!”

Cheers P

Tuesday, 14th March 2006...

I DID IT!!!! I DID IT!!! I DID IT!!!!!

VIRGIN FAT!!!

Man I am stoked I can tell you. After 3 looooong months I have finally cracked my lowest ever weight and begun to eat into the ‘virgin’ fat again after my Xmas gain!!

Woo-hooo!!

I lost 1.4kg so that brings me well into virgin fat, as I’m now 91.1kg. Ooh nearly cracked the 90’s as well!

I also achieved two goals today. The first was of course to get off the plateau and onto an all time low weight. The second was for my BMI to drop below 30. When I started this journey I was almost 40 BMI and ‘morbidly obese’ by most standards. As my weight dropped I became ‘obese’ and now today I am officially just ‘overweight’!! Damn that sounds better huh?

Another first today was that my home scales finally weighed my body fat %. Despite the fact they register up to 45% body fat (and I have been well below that for some time on the gym scales that monitor it) it always said ‘error too high’ until today. Mind you it did say I think it was 43.7% or something, which is much higher then the gym scales had said but who cares? Not I! I’m just glad to be finally low enough not to send it into error :)

If you can’t already tell, I am HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY today!

Special thanks again to Philippa whose fridge poster really helped me this week (see prior entry for the lovely deed she did for me). And thanks to everyone who has encouraged me throughout these difficult months. All those who refused to let me give in, who had faith I could do it, and who stuck by me.

NOW IT’S TIME TO CRACK THE 80’S BABY!!!!!!!

TFTD: “You never fail until you stop trying!”

Cheers P

Sunday, 12th March 2006...

Sunday glorious Sunday!

Wanna know why I think it’s so glorious?

Because I’ve had the best weekend in as long as I can remember weight loss wise.

As you know Friday passed smoothly for me. Saturday we went to the children’s party and I passed on the bbq sausages, steakettes and crumbed chicken and grabbed a 6” sub from Subway instead for only 5.5pts…Yey!!

That night Caleb stayed at Granny’s so Simon and I headed out to an Italian restaurant for dinner before a movie. I usually love their carbonara pasta but we all know how bad that is for us! So instead I chose a tomato based bolognaise sauce on ravioli and left it at that. No yummy garlic bread for entrée’s…. no decadent dessert. My only treat was some real coke with the dinner.

Now don’t think I’m so controlled because believe me I came within a fly fart of telling her to add in a garlic bread entrée when she came back with the drinks…. but I resisted!

So then it was off to the movie. There is an Irish bar outside the cinema and I had decided to have just one or two vodka’s before we went in despite my no alcohol plan for the weekend. But thankfully it was closed for a private party so the temptation was removed.

Next came the dreaded snack bar at the cinema. Oooh how I would have almost chewed my own arm off for some caramel popcorn or a chocolate fix. I knew though that I could not come back on here and let you guys down again so instead I just had a large diet Pepsi.

Temptation was still lingering at every turn when I decided I wanted something to eat after the movie. I feared going home and eating something high point so instead rationalized that a small subway would at least be healthy?? Right??? Wrong! Thankfully Simon played diet police (very tactfully) and reminded me that I would regret it in the morning if I did. So instead I went home and went to bed with nothing more then a drink of water.

PHEW!! So with many, many close calls I did somehow manage to escape the weekend intact! And what’s more my efforts were WELL rewarded on the scales today!!! I won’t get too excited until Tuesday’s official weigh-in but let’s just say…. I feel like a born again virgin *wink wink* (no sexual reference intended!).

Eeeeek!!! I’m so excited I think I have floated through most of the day. I’ve had a great days eating today and have a yummy roast planned for tea. A lean topside beef roast is only 2.5pts for 100gm…1pt for gravy and 1pt for sweat potato and that’s it!! The peas, broccoli, asparagus, corncob, onion, and carrot are all free so it’s a big meal that’s point friendly and oh so yummy!!! I dry roast my veg so no added fat there either! I’ve planned a small ww ice cream and fruit for dessert and will still end the day 1.5 under my allowed points!!! Joy!

I can’t believe it’s still two days to weigh-in yet as well! It’s amazing what a little hope will do for your attitude to a weigh-in. :)

TFTD: “Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail!”

Cheers P

Saturday, 11th March 2006...

Well it’s Saturday and I have survived my Friday night risk period intact so here’s hoping I can maintain the momentum for the remainder of the weekend.

I had no alcohol yesterday so yay! I don’t drink during the week but usually drink one night each weekend but not this week … I need to break this plateau anyway I can!

I snacked on rice crackers and salsa after tea and some tic-tacs and finished the day exactly on points YESTERDAY. For the week now I have had exactly 66/66 points with still 12 bonus points up my sleeve.

The scales are currently spot on what I was last weigh-in so with 4 days still to go I’m hoping to finally make some decent progress this week at last??? Please let it be!!!!!

Tomorrow Simon is getting up to Caleb so I can have a sleep in so I took my turn at giving him one this morning. That little rat bag (as in Caleb) was up at 5.30am this morning so I bundled him in his pram and took him walking with me. I don’t usually do my early morning walks on a weekend but I figured if I was awake I may as well…and plus it would make the house quieter for Simon to sleep in.

I did the usual 50min circuit but I really noticed the difference pushing the pram. I also missed the serene quiet of my usual walk. Instead of admiring the sunrise, the birds and the dew on the grass…. all I could hear was a certain little chatterbox rabitting on about everything and everyone that he saw!! He seriously did not shut up the entire way! Lucky for him I love him so much or I may just have had to gag him :) *wink*

I’m feeling really hopeful of finally seeing those 91’s this week. I’m not the praying sort but PLEASE GOD let it be! :) This plateau has been really hard but I know that eventually it will be a strength for me. When the going gets tough again (as it will) then I can remember this time and know that if I could make it through this I can do it again! What doesn’t beat us only makes us stronger.

I have the 3rd birthday party of Caleb’s best friend Jordyn to go to today (10 days older then Caleb) and instead of the sausage sizzle that’s on offer I intend to go across the road and get a subway instead. Much lower points and more satisfying both physically and mentally :)

I must say a VERY BIG thank you to the lovely Philippa!! I saw on her site the other day that she had created a sign for her fridge to help motivate her for the last few kg’s of her journey. Yesterday she surprised me by sending me one to get me past my plateau. It has a before and after pic of me on it and the numbers 92, 91, 90, 89 for me to mark off as I get closer to the 80’s and some big words of encouragement to remind me how far I’ve come and that I do have the strength to keep going. Thanks so much – it was such a lovely gesture!!! I printed it off straight away and now it’s up on my fridge to get me through the next few weeks!! *Hugs to ya babe*

It’s times like this that we all need to remember the simple formula to success. Nothing…but NOTHING is going to move our fat except eating less (energy in) and moving more (energy out) …. It really is that simple and I am keeping that in mind this week to get me past this plateau. And past it I SHALL GO!!!!

TFTD: “Don’t expect people to listen to your advice and ignore you example!”

Cheers P

Friday, 10th March 2006...

I’m still here and still plodding along through the week.

I have decided I will weigh in next week. I know it would be a mistake not to and god knows I cannot afford any more of them if I have any hope of EVER making it off this damn plateau!

The week has gone good so far. I’ve eaten 41.5 out of an allowed 44 points so far. In the last 3 days I’ve done 2 x 50 min walks and this morning I did a 1hr Power Bar class at the gym. Oh my god that class is a killer!!! My legs shake like jelly during the squats and lunges and I sweat like a dog but if it does the job it’s worth it ten-fold!

This morning when I was out on my walk I just kept chanting to myself “91 for a flatter tum – 91 for a flatter tum”. Anything to keep my goals in mind and to convince myself that I CAN get there…. one day?

I have no plans for nights out or drinking this weekend so I am hoping that if I really put in a good effort this week that I’ll finally get the reward I crave so much! Oh to reach the 91’s and that virgin fat!!!!

I am doing my last Wednesday night of work at WW next week and then I’m back on the reserve list. Although the leader told me last week that the lady who usually does Tuesday mornings class is looking for full time work and if she gets it they’d like me to take over her job full time! Oooh exciting!

Otherwise I’m just trying to run on autopilot for the rest of this week. Just making good food choices every day and at every meal. Exercising every day. Trying to turn off the inner saboteur in my mind and just have faith that if I do what I should then sooner or later the scales MUST give me what I deserve.

They better!!! Or WW just might be buying themselves a new set next week when I smash them to smithereens!!! *wink*

Just a quick note about the challenge…we have now lost over 260kg!!! WOW! Sadly more and more people are dropping out (although most do not have the decency to tell me so!) Last week I removed everyone who had not given me stats since week 3 and this week I did the same to everyone who had not sent any new stats since week 4. I believe I have been more then patient and if you can’t bother to tell me then I am not going to bother chasing you up! Having said that though…. if you find you are one who has been removed … but you want to continue … it’s easy to fix. Just send me an email with your updated stats to the current week and I can easily get you going again. For those that do the right thing and send me your stats every week…. THANK YOU!!!!!

Have a fantastic weekend everyone!

TFTD: “If it is to be it is up to ME!”

Cheers P

Thursday, 9th March 2006...

Ho-hum.

My week is off to a so-so start this week? My eating has been fine and I’ve exercised…it’s more of a mental block I’m struggling with I guess?

I know I said I was fine with my gain this week – but perhaps I am not? I’m just so sick of the yo-yo and DAMN sick of this plateau!!

I’ve had a look at my stats and look at how the last few months since the WHO challenge ended have gone:

Dec: -1.9kg Jan: +1.1kg Feb: -0.8kg

Talk about slow…and even backwards at times!

I just need to get out of this mind phunk! I had made a decision not to weigh in next week. I decided I wanted a week away from the pressures of the scales to try to refocus and hopefully return after that time into the virgin fat.

While I’ve swayed back and forth over whether that was a good idea or not a hundred times a day in the last two days. I know that ultimately it is not a wise idea. I think it will give me ‘permission’ to stray off course during that time knowing that I have longer to make it up.

Yesterday I craved bbq chicken and hot chips all day!! I was out at WW last night working so I had decided to get it on my way home. To hell with the scales I thought. However thankfully I came to my senses just in time and came home to a WW frozen dinner instead…. phew! Because of the last minute change in plans I actually finished yesterday on only 15 points out of an allowed 22. Low I know, but much better then however far I would have been over if I’d had the chicken and chips.

I took a day off exercise yesterday but got back into it today with a 50min walk this morning. Tomorrow I want to try another Power Bar (Body Pump) class at the gym in the morning for something different. I think my exercise regime has become stale of late and if there is one thing the Enforcer taught me it’s the value of CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE!! *wink*

I’ve also decided to try a supplement of chromium that I have read so much about. With the PCOS that I have I know that sugar levels are an issue for me. I found this vitamin called ‘Sugar Balance’ which is chromium based. You can read about it here. Although the bottle says it’s for weight loss support it IS NOT a diet pill. The ingredients are mostly vitamin B, C and D, chromium and a few extra minerals. The bottle says it “helps to reduce cravings for sweet foods that may develop due to dieting or low blood sugar. The formulation is specially designed to enhance chromium absorption and help balance blood sugar levels. Symptoms of low blood sugar levels also include increased appetite and tiredness”. Hmmm?? It cost me $16 for a bottle that will last 1 month so I figure it was worth a shot anyway? I’ll let you know how I find it.

I’ve just GOT to get past this plateau. I’ve got the small goals sorted:

-Get to 92kg and into virgin fat (i.e. my lowest ever)

-Get to 91.8 to have a BMI under 30

-Get to 89.9 and into the 80’s at last!!

-Get to 89.4 and know that I have lost 25% of my starting body weight

-Get to 89.2 and celebrate having lost 30kg in total.

I feel like if I can just get through these goals that I’ll be fine again. I think I’ll have another good run through the 80’s as I did through the 90’s after I finally broke that 100kg plateau. It may be more mental than physical but for now I’m holding on fast to that hope as my only lifeline.

I know all the hype about it not being all about the scales. I know I am improving my health and fitness regardless of what those numbers say. I know that I am shrinking and fitting into smaller clothes. I know I shouldn’t feel like a total failure at the moment – but I do!

I cringe every time someone asks me “How much have you lost now?” and I have to say 26.7kg. Knowing that the newspaper article on Dec 10th had my total loss at 26kg people must be thinking…. all this time and only another 0.7kg gone???

Aaargh!!! I NEED to get past this. I NEED to be reassured of my success by those blasted numbers. Right or wrong it’s what I need.

Now how to get it????

TFTD: “All problems become smaller if you don’t dodge them but confront them!”

Cheers P

Tuesday, 7th March 2006...

God I am such a yo-yo!!!

I gained 0.1kg today…D’oh!!

So no virgin fat for another week :(

But I am not going to moan, whinge, rant or rave about it. I had a big weekend on Fraser Island – I expected consequences – and let’s face it, it could have been much worse.

I know I’ve tried really hard this week and I’ve had another non-scale victory today.

As you may recall I was stoked to run my first 1kg straight earlier this week. Well guess what???

Go on…. guess??

Today I ran 2km non-stop!!!

Woweeeee :)

It took about 15mins I guess but it felt great! I just kept thinking, one more light pole, one more street, and one more corner and before you knew it I had smashed my previous best for continuous jogging.

So after that success…. who cares what those dumb scales show! I know I will make that virgin fat and those 80’s. Ok so it wasn’t this week but it will happen.

Just you wait and see!!

TFTD: “No person has ever gone blind looking on the bright side of life!”

Cheers P

Monday, 6th March 2006...

Not a lot to say today :)

Just chugging along towards weigh-in. The scales are still up about 1kg so if that stays then so be it – I did have a big week of social engagements after all. However I am usually pretty good at bringing it down at the last minute so never say never! I may make that loss yet.

Yesterday for exercise I got out and mowed all our lawns. We have a large block and it’s a solid hour of hot sweaty work so that was bound to be a good workout.

This morning I did a jog/walk at 5.30am and weather permitting I’ll be going to aquarobics tonight at 6pm for a 1hr session. This morning I jogged more then ever…and although I didn’t have my iPod to time the total jogging time I did drive it in my car earlier to see what the longest continuous stretch was and it came out at exactly 1km. I kilometer of non-stop running…. man I never thought I could do that!! :) I’ll be jogging again tomorrow morning so I’ll take the iPod to time the total again to see how I have improved from last time.

The challenge has been giving me a few headaches of late. I’ve had to chase up several people who are way behind in stats. I know I said I would just delete people if that happened but I really am trying to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and one last chance to stay in. So please check the challenge page and if you are not up to at least wk 7 or 8 then please send me your stats ASAP. It really is very frustrating for me when people fall weeks behind and I really don’t need the aggravation. For all those who are up to date and carrying on …. WOW we have lost over 240kg now! Yikes!!!!

Keep up the AWESOME work everybody :)

TFTD: “Determination determines the outcome!”

Cheers P

Sunday, 5th March 2006...

I survived! Hehehehe

The boat ride over was not half as bad as I had feared. We were on the biggest boat this time that was much calmer then the smaller cat had been the night before. We did decide to stay over and by the time we were due to return on Saturday morning it was a calm, clear day…Hallelujah!!!

The party was heaps of fun. I received compliments on my outfit although forgot to take a pic before we left...D’oh! I will take one for you next time I wear it. We started off partying in an undercover area then later in the evening moved onto the bars and nightclubs at the resort. Food wise I did so-so. The table was laden with chips, lollies and chocolates but I managed to avoid all except a few lollies. Tea was hot nibbles like spring rolls, curry puffs and prawn dim-sims. I tried probably 3 of each or so over the course of the evening but I’m not going to beat myself up over it. Again I avoided cocktails and shots for drinks and drank only vodka and diet coke – and not even much of that so all things considered I’m feeling ok about the whole thing.

The scales are up by 1kg this morning but with still 3 days to weigh-in and plenty of exercise opportunities in between I’m fairly confident I can get it down to a loss by weigh-in. And let’s not forget I am striving for ‘virgin fat’ this week so that means I’ve got to lose 0.4kg to make it - *fingers crossed*.

Caleb and Simon have gone out for a spot of fishing this morning so I think I may go dig out some WW recipe books and try something new for dinner tonight :)

I wanted to make mention of the chat room again too. Although I have not updated the scheduled chat times for a while I do still pop in whenever I get the chance. However I have set another chat time for this Tuesday 1pm. If anyone is interested drop on by and say hi.

I hope you are all enjoying a great weekend! Monday again tomorrow…Ugh!

TFTD: “For things to change you have to change!”

Cheers P

Friday, 3rd March 2006...

It’s party day…and I’m not sure if I should laugh or cry!!

Last night we caught the quick-cat boat over to Fraser Island for my sister-in-laws surprise birthday dinner. It was pouring rain and very, very windy. I get very sea-sick (well any travel sick for that matter) and was most green around the gills by the trip home which was so rough the crew insisted everyone remain in their seats and no one was allowed near the edges on the outside deck…gulp!

We were pretty much soaked through with rain for the evening from running from cars to boat terminals at the harbour and then from the boat to courtesy bus and back again etc but we did manage to keep Caleb dry at least.

The dinner was lovely. I think I made good choices too. I reluctantly passed on the creamy cocktails the others enjoyed and instead stuck to my trusty old diet coke or water – I didn’t dare drink alcohol before having to brave the boat home again anyway. For entrée’s I tried one prawn, one calamari strip and one piece of sashimi (my first go at raw fish – it was ok I guess but I probably would not chose to eat it again). For main I had a Caesar salad with a slice of crusty bread. No dessert. I did have some herb butter on the bread and I know that Caesar is not a great diet option but all things considered I feel like I did ok.

So now I am mortified at the thought of braving that boat again (twice!) this evening when we planned to travel to the party. At least we won’t have Caleb this time but still….? I think we may have to end up staying over for the night because there is a chance the late boat home may be cancelled due to predicted gale force winds and huge sea swells. Also I know that there is no way I will not vomit if I try that trip again but with alcohol in my system as well! I’m worried about having Caleb separated from us under these circumstances but I’m sure if we can’t get back tonight we can catch the first boat out tomorrow morning –weather permitting? We hadn’t planned to collect him until the morning anyway so I’m sure it will be ok if we stay.

I think, if possible, I am still seasick now. I have been talking about it a lot on the phone this morning, and now typing about it here, and I don’t know if I am creating it myself or what, but I actually feel sea sick right now. When I look at the computer screen it sways from side to side like a boat in a swell and my stomach does not like it one bit! Crikey maybe I need to get into the motion sickness tablets right now! I did have them last night by the way too but they did diddly-squat! Then again, I did manage not to vomit (just) so I dread to think what I would have been like without them. It is a 45min boat trip across and it felt more like 45hrs to me!! :)

This morning I did my usual morning weigh on my home scales and nearly screamed in excitement. They said 91.0kg!!! I had planned a sleep in today but I was so excited about the scales that I decided to do my walk anyway as I was so pumped. Of course it was still raining and windy so I got absolutely drenched and freezing cold but I didn’t care. I called it quits after 25mins but I was glad to have done something at least.

Then I got on the scales again…92.7kg. Shit-shit-shit!! I weighed twice to be sure and yep – it must have been wrong the first time. Bugger!! Very disappointing but at the same time I knew it seemed too good to be true :( So 92.7kg at home would make me 92.3kg at WW so only a 0.1kg loss for the week so far (since Tuesdays weigh-in) but I’m sure I can build on that between now and next week. So long as I stay in control tonight!!

Who knows what will happen tonight but if you are the praying type then please pray for calm seas for me :)

Have a great Friday everyone!

TFTD: “We are what we repeatedly do!”

Cheers P

Wednesday, 1st March 2006...

Well my new WW week is off to a good start :)

I don’t usually exercise on the day after weigh-in…I usually opt for a lovely sleep-in instead of my usual 5.30am walk. That was my plan today also…until my dear sweet Caleb decided to get up at 5am! (As he seems to do regularly now since moving into his big boy bed). It’s barely even light by that hour but once he’s up there’s no chance of him going back to sleep so I figured if I was awake I may as well be walking.

I did my new 50min route and felt great for having done it too. The scales are even lower still today then yesterday (a rare thing after take-away day) so I should have waited until tonight to weigh but I know that when I do that I don’t eat during the day and that will do me and my metabolism no favours in the long run. I’ll still be going to the meeting tonight to work though.

I’ve got a few challenges coming up this week. As I already mentioned, we are traveling to Fraser Island Friday night for a formal attired 30th birthday party for my sister-in-law which will be held on a lookout overlooking Kingfisher Bay Resort…*stunning*

Well I received a call from her husband today asking us to also come over Thursday night for a surprise birthday dinner in their fine dining restaurant! The travel and meal are all paid for (Thank god!) so I could hardly say no … but I shudder to think of how our fellow diners will enjoy the company of a 3yr old going wild *wink* hehehe. I’m sure he’ll be fine and at least Granny and Aunty Alicia etc will all be with us to help spread the work if he gets too bad. I know he loved riding the big boat over there the other weekend so he’ll get a real buzz out of coming home on it in the dark at 8pm.

So in any case…that’s an unknown restaurant meal one night and then party food and alcohol the following night!! Eeek! All I can do is try to make sensible choices, eat a little something before I go and do some extra exercise in the lead-up to it.

A comment that the lovely Lee-Anne made in a recent email really got me thinking about events such as this. She said “But you are losing and enjoying yourself at the same time. Absolutely nothing wrong with that” That really struck a cord with me. I’m sick of writing whining entries about not losing as much as I’d like to…or feeling like I am letting the team down etc. I need to remember that I am not being overly strict on myself. Yes I’m exercising hard and eating fairly well…but I enjoy regular nights out drinking, regular take-away meals and in general I enjoy a good life while on this journey. Some people stop all those things while trying to lose weight. I know I will never stop enjoying life after goal so it makes sense to learn to get to goal while still doing those things.

So yes…I may have a less than ideal week on the scales next week. But it’s not every week that I get to spend two nights on an island paradise…. it’s not every week my sister-in-law turns 30 and…the big picture is it’s just one week!

I’m really working on an attitude overhaul. I’m sick of focusing on how slow things have moved these last few months…on what I did to cause some gain or maintain…. I’m sick of following every compliment I receive by telling them “yes but I still have blah, blah still to go”. I need to remember how far I’ve come. I need to accept a compliment with a simple ‘thank you’. I need to give myself a break. I don’t hold anyone else to such high standards so why would I do it to myself?

Regardless of what those scale numbers say…I’m slimmer…. I’m healthier…. I’m wearing size 16-14 clothes instead of the old size 22…. I’m feeling more attractive, confident and outgoing then I have in more then a decade. So to hell with the numbers!!!! We all talk ourselves down but it's time we embrace what we have done and stop beating ourselves up for the 'yeah butts’.... and ‘if only's'!

Speaking of clothes. I have settled on my party outfit. I am wearing my new size 16 sleeveless black shirt that I bought last week. I also found just the skirt I was looking for … size 14 (squeal!)…black, long but sort of coming up to a V below the knee and trimmed with ruffles and sequins along the hem. It’s gorgeous and goes superbly with my strappy, sequined stilettos. The only problem…the lookout is of course sand (being the largest sand Island in the world and all). I am going to have to take my trusty thongs too as I just can’t see the stiletto’s working out for long. I think I’ll try them out until sunset then move onto the thongs after dark when no one can see anyway :) I must get Simon to take some pics before we leave. Caleb will be having a sleepover at his little mates place. Although it’s his first sleepover with anyone other then Granny (and once with Aunty Alicia) I’m sure he’ll be fine. The family has 4 kids (#5 on the way) and they all love to look after and mother Caleb so I’m sure he’ll have heaps of fun.

I know we will! Our mate Scotty is coming with us so I get to be accompanied by two well dressed, good looking gents to an Island party – what more could a girl want?? *wink*

TFTD: “You must look for the opportunity in every situation!”

Cheers P

Tuesday, 28th February 2006...

A loss…Woo-Hoo!

I almost didn’t make it to weigh-in today after my damn car wouldn’t start this morning. In the end I had to get the day-care bus to collect Caleb (his first time at that and he was none too impressed either) and call a breakdown service. I had my car jump-started by another car last week and apparently that is SO NOT the thing to do to a modern car as it messes with its computer system…D’oh! So in the end I had to have an auto-electrician fix it, shell out for a new battery and spend $20 getting to WW and back for my weigh-in. All up $120 I definitely could have spent better elsewhere!

However the loss this week helped my mood considerably :) Ok so I didn’t make the virgin fat – or the 80’s – as I had hoped by this weekends party…. but I’m now only 0.4kg away from virgin fat (i.e. my lowest ever weight) and hoping to make that next week?

My exercise was down a little this week but the totals were:

-45min walk

-1hr aquarobics

-50 min walk

-100 crunches

-50 push-ups

-50 dips

-50 squats

-50min walk

-1hr aquarobics

Not too bad I guess but I can do better. I intend to get out on the bike again this week and hopefully try another gym class if I can arrange some babysitting?

Ok…not much else to say today. I’m off to enjoy my free day and read some mags in bed while I watch Dr Phil and eat lunch – yes I’m a great multi-tasker *wink*

TFTD: “You have to be a contributor if you want to be a receiver!”

Cheers P

Monday, 27th February 2006...

Another weekend gone and Monday has arrived again all too soon.

I did have a rather big weekend but thankfully the scales don’t seem to reflect much damage so I am hopeful of a loss this week.

Friday night ended up being a big night. Many, many drinks (all vodka and diet coke) and a midnight meal of pizza later and I was sure the scales would punish me the next morning. Saturday we spent the day out of town at the children’s party. We had McDonalds for breakfast on the way so I chose a piece of their new apple and cinnamon toast (no butter) as a healthy and filling choice. At the BBQ I avoided the cheese and cabanossi platters and waited for lunch instead were I had a steak and cheese roll…Mmm. I did succumb to some chicken and chips that night for tea but all things in moderation I guess.

Sunday we spent the morning on the beach with Caleb, swimming and playing in the sand. Then I spent the afternoon catching up on housework while Simon took Caleb fishing. They didn’t catch anything but a good time was had by all.

I had planned to do an hours walk yesterday afternoon but with the boys out fishing and a roast in the oven I didn’t dare leave so I knew I had to do something inside instead. After finishing an hour or so of hard-core housework I got into some toning exercise. By the end I had done 100 crunches, 50 push-ups, 50 dips and 50 squats. I didn’t feel like I’d done enough but I’m pretty sore all over today so I must have done some good!

This morning I got a 50min walk in early and this evening I hope to go to aquarobics if the weather holds out. If not I may have to hit the gym instead?

I feel very thankful that the scales are not being as bad to me as I thought I had deserved. I really need to register a loss this week to feel like I am back on track and making some progress??

I’m working at WW again this week, and probably for the next two weeks after that also, so I guess I’ll weigh in then. Unless I absolutely cannot resist it tomorrow (ie I show a loss and want to grab it while I can *wink*) hehehehe

I’ve been thinking about my exercise of late and I’m fairly happy with the variety I am getting. I had forgotten though what the Enforcer had taught me, and Denise recently reminded me, and that was that I need to keep increasing it. That what produces a loss one week won’t cut it in a few months time when I am fitter and slimmer. I must keep increasing the duration, intensity and effort etc if I am to keep getting the results I crave! I’m not sure how much more time I can find for it but I certainly have plenty of room to increase the difficulty and intensity level :)

I really look forward to toning and working on muscle definition as my body emerges from its decades of fat coverage. I worry too about how much loose skin I may be left with? I find myself dwelling on it sometimes and thinking how unfair it would be to get to goal weight and still have to hide saggy, baggy skin etc. But then I give myself a good slap and remember that it is certainly going to be easier to hide some lose skin then to conceal 45kg of fat!!! Besides…lose skin will not effect my health, lifespan and quality of life the way fat did so I should just put up with it and shut up! *wink*

Hehehe! Ok enough rambling for today :)

TFTD: “The hardest things in life to learn are which bridges to cross and which ones to burn!”

Cheers P

Friday, 24th February 2006...

I love Fridays!

Well I love this Friday :)

I’ve just got a good vibe going on and I plan for it to last well into the night.

It’s amazing how my weight, and my management of it, affects my entire experience of my day and my life! Take today for example:

Exercise: Check! 40min morning power-walk + 1hr aquarobics class. Done by 10am.

Food: Check! A 98% fat-free fruit smoothie for breakfast and a low fat Subway for lunch.

Positive body image moment: Check! Found new muscle I hadn’t noticed! It’s my left bicep and it actually rises up for probably the first time in my life *giggle with glee*

Successful clothes shopping moment (a rare event!): Check! Bought wicked pair of ¾ jeans in size 16 and a black sleeveless slinky top, also in size 16 *feint* to wear out tonight and a perfect skirt for the formal party on Fraser Island next weekend in a size 14 (Squeal!)

Tonight Caleb is staying over with Granny and we are having a night out with our mate at the usual pub. We get to enjoy a sleep in tomorrow as we don’t have to pick Caleb up until 8.30 to take him to swimming lessons. Then we are off with Caleb, and our mate and his nephew, to my best friends family property out of town for her 4yr old nephews birthday party. A party that kids are catered for so no stressing over what they are getting into and up to … and a chance to catch up with Julie and enjoy great company with everyone there. What a perfect weekend stretches ahead…. :)

Just backtracking to a few things.

The muscle thing was thrilling as it’s something I want to pursue after the weight loss thing is done. I don’t mean body building proportions or even super toned by any means…but I’ve just worried about fat for so long that I’d like to one day take the focus off that and instead take pride in improving my muscle definition and overall tone??

And the size 16 shirt!! Let me remind you that I am the girl who has ALWAYS bought shirts at least 1 or 2 sizes bigger to make them super loose around my super large torso *blush* I kidded myself that this tent effect hid what was underneath. Let me tell you I’ve now learnt I was kidding myself. It doesn’t hide anything and if anything makes you look even bigger *shudder* So when I was a size 22 pants I’d be wearing size 24 and even 26 shirts…Ugh! So to buy a size 16 shirt today and find it lose fitting enough that I felt confident in it??? Well…. let me tell you ... that was a nice buzz :)

I’m worried about going out tonight. I do want to drink and I do plan to drink a bit…*giggles*. But I plan to stick to vodka and diet coke only with waters in between. I’m also going to grab some hangover pills so I don’t feel like crap in the morning for the kids party…oh imagine the cruelty of a hangover at one of those…. hehehehe I plan to have a WW frozen dinner for tea and not eat anything while out so I guess I’ll have to see how that goes?

Either way I’m not letting it ruin my day. I’m having a great Friday and I hope you all have a fantastic weekend ahead!

Will try to remember to ask Simon to take a pic of me in my new size 16’s jeans and top and post it to the album over the weekend.

TFTD: “You are never given a dream without also being given the power to make it come true!”

Cheers P

Thursday, 23rd February 2006...

Well…. I gained! 0.5kg to be precise.

However…. I’m not going to whinge about it. This is why:

For the week I am allowed 154 points plus an optional 12 bonus points from exercise (remembering I do enough exercise to earn more like 40+ points but you can only spend back a max of 12). So in total I am allowed 166 points. This week I used 174 – 8 points over so hardly anything to write home about considering the exercise I did!

This week’s exercise totals look like this:

-40min jog/power walk (15mins jogging)

-1hr low-impact fat burning class at the gym

-1hr Pilates class at the gym

-30min power walk

-1hr aquarobics class

-40 min jog/power walk (15 mins jogging)

-43mins recumbent cycle

-12 mins cross trainer

-5mins jogging on treadmill at 7.5km/hr

-50min power walk

-10mins boxing

-50 star jumps

-100 crunches

-50 lunges

-50 squats

-50 push-ups

-50 dips

-45 min high intensity bike ride

A total of 7 hrs and 45 minutes of sweat soaked workouts.

And for what? A 0.5kg gain!!! That’s why I’m not complaining. I know I did the best I could and some weeks that just happens … to all of us :)

The weird thing is I beat myself up more on a bad week…when I know I deserved a gain. This week – granted I went a little over points – but I know I did more then enough exercise to account for 8 extra points. So I guess it was just meant to be??

I know that if I keep it up at this intensity that those numbers will have to go down next week. So that’s what I’ll do :)

In the meantime I did have Simon take my measurements again and I’ve now lost a total of 118.0cm. From start to now the changes look like this:

119.2kg to 93.1kg

Chest 125.0cm to 108.0cm

Waist 140.0cm to 98.0cm

Hips 142.0cm to 118.0cm

Thighs 73.0cm to 61.0cm (each)

Arms 39.5cm to 34.0cm (each)

Can’t complain about that huh?

TFTD: “We become what we think about!”

Cheers P

Tuesday, 21st February 2006...

I have decided to go to tomorrow night’s weigh-in and I think I may be making that a permanent move from now on?? Weigh-in day is my once a week take away and my no tracking day also. So when I weigh in on Tuesday morning I eat crap the whole day long. On the other hand when I weigh in Wednesday night we just have our take-away meal after the meeting then something nice for dessert and that’s it…come Thursday morning I’m back on the bandwagon again and into the new week.

I spoke to Simon about it last night and he agrees that Wednesday night weighs will be better for me in the long run so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m a bit worried about the change from morning to night and what that may do to the scales this first week (especially so this week!!!) but I know it will be normal after that. I’ll just eat light tomorrow to compensate *wink*

Yesterdays eating went like this:

Breakfast: 1 grain toast, 1x 130g can baked beans

Lunch: 1 WW frozen mushroom agnolotti meal

Tea: 120g skinless chicken breast, WW Caesar dressing, lettuce, cucumber, tomato and grated carrot

Exercise: 40 min run/walk (15 mins jogging) + 1hr gym cardio (43min recumbent cycle, 13 mins cross trainer, 5 mins treadmill jog at 7.5km/hr)

Total: 12 points

Now I know that’s a low point day…but when I added up my week’s points, including my 12 bonus points for exercise – and estimated the points of my burger meal plus the cocktail on Sunday as best I could – I come out just 12 points over for now and that's much better then I'd feared :)

It’s all about moderation and if I can have a few lean days after a bad day (so long as I still eat 3 meals at least on lean days) then I can help to undo some damage. Now I feel much better about how my week is going :)

If I can keep it light today and tomorrow with eating also then I should be able to pull off a small loss by tomorrow night’s weigh-in…Phew!!!

I’ve done my walk this morning and ventured out on a new route. It was all pretty flat which is not ideal but it did take 50mins to complete and it was nice to have a change of scenery. After this I am going to tackle my second exercise session for the day and I’m going to make a home circuit to do. I’ll alternate between boxing on slam man in the garage, to crunches and lunges in the bedroom, then squats and push ups in the lounge and finishing on dips and star jumps in the dining room…before starting all over again for 3-5 laps. Something different so it should be fun??

It felt good to get back to the gym yesterday after a while away and I found time went so much faster when I read a magazine and listened to music on my iPod at the same time while I was on the bike for 43mins. However I can only do that on the bike as trying to read on the treadmill or cross trainer makes me ill.

I am so proud of everyone’s efforts in the challenge and stoked to see that we have now blitzed the total from the last challenge and are in to new highs at 211kg gone!!! Way to go!!!! Now if only I could do more to contribute to the total myself!! *wink*

I am going to have Simon take my measurements tonight, as I haven’t had any taken since the challenge ended. I know they will be different with a different person measuring me again (as they were when I changed from Curves measures to challenge measures with the Enforcer) but at least if I get them started with Simon I can stick with him from here on out. Perhaps they will help my perspective on weeks the scales are not my friend – and let’s face it there are plenty of them :)

TFTD: “You move toward the picture you create of yourself!”

Cheers P

Monday, 20th February 2006...

Ok…well another weekend gone and again another screw up!!!

Alright…let me rephrase that – one meal was a screw up. The rest of the week has been perfect so I must try to see it in that positive light :)

We had a quite day Saturday with not much happening, which was lovely. Yesterday we spent the day at Kingfisher Resort on Fraser Island and it was divine!!! The only bad point was the burger and chips I had for lunch and the creamy mango cocktail!!

But first let me catch up on the weekend’s trackers.

Friday went like this:

Breakfast – 1 toast, 1x200g spaghetti, 1 glass skim milk

Lunch – frozen WW chow mien meal, 1 slice bread, 1 OJ

Tea – 2 chicken skewers, 1 lean sausage, 1 boiled egg, free salad, pasta and sauce

Snacks – Tic-tacs, rice crackers, Ice-cream block

Exercise: 30min walk + 1hr aquarobics class

Total: 32 points (after using my saved points this day left me just 1pt over for the week)

Then came Saturday:

Breakfast – 1 toast, 1 slice no fat cheese, 1 130g can baked beans

Lunch – 2 grain bread, 1 slice no fat cheese, 1 WW chicken hotpot

A’tea – diet mousse

Dinner – Stir-fry vegetables, hokkien noodles, sauces

Snacks – grapes, tic-tacs, McDonalds soft serve cone

Exercise: nil

Total: 21 points (back to 88/88 for the week)

Sunday was our day trip to Fraser Island:

Breakfast – 200g can spaghetti

Lunch – Hamburger and hot chips + can soft drink

Tea – 6” low fat Subway and bottle of water

Snacks – 1 creamy mango cocktail + diet cokes and water throughout day

Exercise: 15min lookout walk + 10min beach walk

Total: ??? I dread to think ???

So there you have it. For me a very successful weekend – but for yesterdays lunch choices!!! Oh well…it’s a good thing I don’t go to an Island every day *wink*

The day otherwise was heaven. We caught the quick-cat boat over which Caleb loved! Then the day was spent lounging around the pool and surrounding amenities and bars. I got to see my sister-in-laws house there and also the lookout, which will be the venue of the upcoming formal party next month. We had a group of 11 go with us and 5 of that were children so they kept us pretty busy with pool supervision all day. Caleb swam and swam and played all around the pools with his muscles/floaties on. It’s great to be able to watch him now without getting in ourselves. By the time we boarded the boat to come home Caleb was so tuckered out that he slept in my arms all the way home even though we were up on the super-windy top deck! I had just commented to others how he hadn’t slept in our arms since a baby when he did just that!

At the end of the day one of the girls in our group, 11yrs old, asked why I had not swam all day. What could I say?? "Well I’m so fat and self-conscious I didn’t want to show my body for fear Green Peace would charge in and roll me back out to sea!!!" Hardly appropriate to say to a young girl is it? So instead I made some feeble excuse about just not getting around to it and left it at that.

Last night Simon asked the real reason and I told him :( He of course reassured me that I was being ridiculous and that I’ve already lost so much weight that I should be proud of etc etc. But yeah … doesn’t change the facts does it. I know I swim at home all the time and I do have board shorts and swimming top that I feel ok in (same as I wore for WHO photo shoot except the shorts are now size 16 instead of the 20 they were in that pic). The group only consisted of our mate Scotty’s family…. yet??? I don’t know??? I did actually intend to get in. I sat with my lower legs in the pool most of the day…but???

Hmmmm.

So now of course I’m going into overdrive worrying about my weigh-in this week, which I promised to go to no matter what. I know yesterday’s stupid lunch choice + the cocktail is probably going to see me gain this week dammit!!!!!

Why oh why do I undo all my weeks hard work every bloody weekend!!?? It is really giving me the shits!!

I’m sick of this silly plateau – be it physical or psychological? I’m sick of feeling like I am failing and getting nowhere. I’m sick of clothes shopping and walking out with nothing. Over the last week I tried on 18 shirts, 2 skirts and 8 pairs of shorts. You know what i ended up buying?…only one pair of the shorts!!!!! Dammit!!! Some did fit but looked atrocious…others I wanted to get no matter the style just because they did fit…but for the most part it was very demoralizing and disheartening :( I loved clothes shopping when the size numbers kept on dropping but now that they are stagnant I want movement…NOW!!!

But why should I expect it when I can’t seem to put in the dedication required to get it???

I just want to see those 80’s so bad!!

My scales have been returned today ready for tomorrow’s potential weigh-in. I don’t weigh in after eating for the day so they don’t temp me now but I am terrified of what they may say tomorrow. After yesterdays lunch I’m pretty sure I’m going to weigh Wednesday night rather then Tuesday mornings meetings as I have to be at the Wednesday night meeting to work anyway so may as well save myself a second trip.

Blah!!! Totally lost the motivated entry I had planned for today so I’m going to cut you free and leave now before I whinge anymore.

And believe me…I could go on forever!!

Oh wait…after making myself find some positive spin I did find a high note to end on. I went out for my morning jog/walk today and took my iPod so I could time the jogging as I had promised. I was out moving for 40mins and by the end had completed 15mins jogging in that time! The longest stretch was 4mins 49 seconds so I know that’s a big thing for me who could previously not have run 1-2 minutes if I tried! So there you have it. Something to improve on I guess? Ok…time to hit the gym!

TFTD: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent!”

Cheers P

Friday, 17th February 2006...

Friday is here…Woo-hoo!

Nothing much planned this weekend as far as going out drinking goes. Caleb has swimming lessons tomorrow morning and the rest of the day will be spent doing house and yard work I suspect. On Sunday we are going to Fraser Island for a day trip with friends, which I am really looking forward to! We catch the quick Cat over in the morning, laze around the pool and resort all day, meals supplied, then boat home in the late afternoon. I’m sure Caleb is going to have a blast and I’m sure there will be healthy food options for me to choose from so all should be good. I had planned to enjoy some cocktails around the pool but given this weeks drive for a good loss I’d better change that plan to one or none instead *wink*

Ok so time for yesterdays tracker:

Breakfast- 1 grain toast, 1 small can baked beans, 1 glass skim milk

Lunch- 1 Red Rooster Chicken salad, ww dressing, 3 ww crisp bread with a small tin of tuna in spring water, 1 diet yoghurt

Tea- Homemade chicken soup with 2 fresh baked dinner rolls (no marg)

Snacks- 1 diet chocolate mousse

Exercise: 1hr low-impact fat burner class + 1hr Pilates class

Total: 17.5 pts (week’s total now 35/44)

So yeah…. everything is trucking along nicely. I’m super eager to get on those scales but am resigned to waiting until Tuesday to get mine back. I was thinking though…. maybe…just maybe…. for the first time ever…I might go to WW without weighing first!!! Imagine the shock of seeing the numbers for the first time there rather then weighing at home first as I usually do. This has benefits. For starters I won’t consider not going if they were to say something unfavorable…. plus it would be great to get a nice surprise on the day without expecting it? I’ve never done it before so no guarantees I’ll do it this week either…but I’m thinking about it! *wink*

Today I have already done a 30min walk and a 1hr aquarobics class so the rest of the day is my own…Joy! I’m going out soon to grab some magazines and an ice-cold diet coke and then I think I’ll kick back and relax before hitting some housework later on today (knowing I’ll probably just put it off until tomorrow instead…hehehe)

My clothes are feeling loose, my tummy is feeling flat (well as flat as mine gets anyway!) so I’m really excited about what I might see on those scales this week. I’ll be stoked with any loss but I would be ecstatic to make it to 92.0 and that virgin fat!!!

I thought before I go today I’d share a story I was telling a friend last night about healthy eating habits. It’s never too early to start your kids on the path to health! When Caleb was still a newborn I read in a book somewhere that if you added wheat germ to their diet early on (packed full of goodness for them) that they would soon be begging for more wheat germ when other kids begged for ice-cream. I thought..."Yeah Right!!!" but did it anyway. I kid you not that Caleb now begs me for more wheat germ on his cereal every morning and even pleads to lick his finger and stick it in the jar for an extra hit of it!!

It just goes to show that good habits started young will become a way of life! So don’t kid yourself that you need to buy those fatty, sugary treats for you kids (that you end up snacking on yourself!)…buy them good, healthy, whole, fresh, food and get them into good eating habits before another day goes by. It’s never too late!!

Speaking of my munchkin…he has now moved into his ‘big boy bed’ and was just ecstatic about it. When Simon was moving it in he just kept squealing with delight and saying, “I excited, I excited!”…hehehehe. He was wrapped with his new Wiggles doona cover and pillow and now my little boy seems so grown up! I’ve taken a pic of it and posted it to the last page of the album here and I’ve included a pic of my Valentine’s Day ring many of you asked to see. I’ve also updated Caleb's website with his latest antics that you can read here.

Ok…enough raving for now. Have a fantastic weekend everyone!!!

TFTD: “When you set a timetable you turn your intentions into a commitment!”

Cheers P

Thursday, 16th February 2006...

Well I finished yesterday well and I’m into day two of my week of re-focus.

Yesterday’s food tracker went like this:

Breakfast- 1 egg scrambled with dash of skim milk, 1 grain toast, 1 glass skim milk,

Lunch- 2 grain toast, 2 slices low fat ham, 1 small tin baked beans, diet yoghurt

Tea- Apricot chicken, corn on the cob, beans and potato mashed with skim milk

Snacks- 1 slice low fat ham, 1 diet yoghurt, 1 box tic-tacs

Exercise- 40 min jog/walk 50:50

Total: 17.5pts from allowed 22

Another great thing about yesterday…. I had NO diet coke at all!!! That’s unheard of for me!! I had nothing but water to drink and I survived so I plan to try that more often *wink*

I worked at WW last night doing my first totally solo run as recorder. Must say I was very pleased when the money balanced perfectly at the end…phew! My pay was almost $20 also which was great for some extra play money. I don’t get to listen to the meeting at all though as I’m too busy counting money and doing the bookwork during the discussion time so if I did it regularly I’d have to continue with my Tuesday morning meeting as well. However I’m only going to be a fill in when I’m needed at this stage so it’s all good for now.

I’ve had a great day of eating and exercise so far today also. This morning I did a 1hr low-impact fat burning class at the gym followed by a 1hr mind and body Pilate’s class. The first one was great – basically just a low impact aerobic type class – sweated heaps and worked hard so it felt great. The Pilates was great for my peace of mind and I felt very relaxed and at peace after it had finished but it’s not really much for weight loss?? I’m sure it helps build core strength and flexibility but it wasn’t a really hard workout. In future if I get the opportunity I’d love to do the low-impact fat burner again. I’ve now tried all the classes except cross trainer, step fat burner and yoga. I’m going to work at getting along to those too so I can at least say I’ve tried them all.

It’s great to get such variety and I guess I’m a bit of a lazy exerciser because I like to just turn up, do what I’m told and then go home – I guess why I loved the Enforcer sessions so much. I’ve really gone off the gym lately?? Just the thought of the same old cardio machines really bore me but I will try to keep things fresh and add in some more weights work until I get my groove back. In the meantime the classes there and at aqua are working well with my walking, jogging and cycling.

I’ll be doing my second jog/run tomorrow morning at dawn and then I’ll be going along to the 9am aquarobics session when I drop Caleb off at day-care for the day. On day-care days I really like to get my sessions done early so the rest of the day is my own :)

I’m resetting some goals today also. I obviously did not make my Feb 14th goal of virgin fat so I have a new one. My sister in law is having a 30th birthday party on March 3rd in formal dress and I’d really, really like to be in the 80’s by then!! There are 3 more weigh-ins between now and then so I’m going to go all out to try to make it! I have no idea what I am going to wear yet but I know that psychologically, I’ll feel much better in whatever I wear, once I’m into those magical 80’s!!

I am also resetting my 12wk challenge goal. I had hoped to lose 10kg initially but due to my slack start I have a new plan. As you know my goal weight is 76kg so I’d like to be within 10kg of that goal by the challenge’s end. So a goal of 86kg by the end makes for a total of 8.4kg in 12wks. That’s 0.7kg a week and therefore I should have been 3.5kg down by now…not the 1.8kg I am. So for the remaining 7 wks I need to lose an average of 0.95kg a week. A steep call but I’m up for the challenge!! Just watch me go! :)

TFTD: “Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work!”

Cheers P

Wednesday, 15th February 2006...

Well it’s day 1 of what feels like a fresh start and I’m feeling good.

I really feel like my eating has strayed off course since Christmas and its time to rein it in before it goes too far. I think what exercise I have done has merely kept my weight fairly stable with minimal gains rather then have it climb, as it probably deserved to have done.

Most days I do great but too many nights have gone by in less then ideal circumstances. So I decided to take a week off the scales and just focus on staying active and eating well.

Day 1 is going good. I got out at 5.30am this morning with the intention of getting back into jogging. The enforcer had me jogging more then I have probably done in my whole life and I really did enjoy that feeling. It’s been at least 2 months since I’ve really done much jogging (except short bursts on the treadmill) and Beck’s Journal had me inspired to do more of it!

I was out for 40mins and at least 50% of that time was jogging today. As soon as I was warmed up from some walking I began jogging for 200m or so at a time with 50-100 walking in between each time to catch my breath. The next time I go I plan to take my iPod with me and use the stopwatch function to actually measure how long of the total time is spent jogging. Then I’ll re-measure that each month to monitor my improvement.

I was certainly a red faced, sweaty mess by the time I got home but I felt great all the same. Funny thing was just as I was about to step in the shower I looked for my scales for my usual morning weigh…none there!! Sneaky Simon had hidden them as I had asked and it really was a relief to know I didn’t have to look at those numbers today! I have asked for them back next Tuesday morning and something tells me I may regret that a hundred times between now and then *wink* The rational me, however, knows that it will be really good for me. That I can just focus on eating right and moving more all week no matter what the numbers say and I really hope to be rewarded for my efforts the next time the scales make their appearance :)

I’m pumped for the week ahead and I really want to do some great things. Simon is having a day off work tomorrow while waiting for the next job to be ready so I have a plan. As you know I’ve recently begun to explore some of the free classes at my gym. I’ve done Power Bar (Body Pump) and Combat Taibo so far but the rest are usually times when I have Caleb. They do have child minding there but Caleb has never been great with those types of situations so I’ve never got to try any others. Anyway…tomorrow I will get my chance while Simon is at home. There is a low-impact fat burner on at 9.30am followed straight up by a Mind and Body Pilates session so I’m thinking I’d like to go to both!! How great will I feel after that? And with my morning walk already done earlier that morning that will make 3hrs exercise for the day!! Yee-ha! I’m only going to jog on alternate days so tomorrow is the day for me to add a new block to my previously one hour walk (now 45mins) to bring it back up to 60 minutes.

I am also going to be listing my food trackers on this site each day for the coming week. I really do make better use of my points when I know that everyone will see them and I am often asked by readers to include trackers so it should be good all round :)

I am absolutely LOVING Australia’s The Biggest Loser on TV, which began this week. It’s an amazing daily dose of inspiration and ideas and I don’t ever want it to end. I am also fascinated by the host AJ Rochester (she of the form email debate a few weeks back) and was surprised to see she looked nothing like I had imagined! My local radio’s morning crew were bagging out the contestants yesterday, which really pissed me off so I fired off an email to them. I got a speedy apology and an offer to talk to the breakfast crew on air with them today…gulp! I politely declined their offer though as I have had more then enough publicity in regard to weight loss in my local community of late *wink* The official website even has a TBL-club so check it out and join up – I have!!!

So that’s about it for today. Keep up the great work in the challenge everyone. You have no idea how inspiring it is to receive all your results every week. Sadly a few big gains have seen us drop below the 200kg mark again but I know we’ll be back up there in no time!!! We are kicking ass! Keep up the great work

TFTD: “It’s better to sleep on what you intend doing, than stay awake over what you have done!”

Cheers P

Tuesday, 14th February 2006...

I’m back!

Camping weekend was Fantastic!

Just what I needed and everyone had a blast. Great weather despite rain being forecast…hot days but it’s hot everywhere anyway so you can’t escape that! I had way too much to drink on the night but my eating was pretty good. I actually only had a bread roll for tea as I didn’t feel like soup and we also skipped the BBQ breakfast on Sunday morning too – too seedy from the night before *wink* I did eat some potato chips at some point and about 9 pre-mix sugary vodka drinks…which has done drastic things to my scales! Oh well C’est la Vie!

I’m over it! As in I’m over the scales…hehehe I have to work at the WW meeting tomorrow night so I’m not going today. Not sure that I’ll weigh in tomorrow night either. I’m feeling a bit of scale burnout right now for lack of a better way to describe it? So if I don’t weigh tomorrow night there has to be a trade off and this is the challenge I will set myself:

I MUST weigh in next week no matter what

I will exercise every day for the next 7 days

I will track EVERYTHING!

I WILL NOT get on my home scales AT ALL this week … no matter what!

To help with number 4 I am going to ask Simon to hide them. I know that I simply won’t be able to trust myself to stay off them otherwise. I am so sick of the focus those numbers have taken in my life and this week is my time for a scale holiday *wink*

Fingers crossed the next time I see them I am into virgin fat!!

Hope everyone is having a lovely St. Valentines Day today? My dearest hubby spoilt me with an unexpected gift today the sneaky devil! We had planned to just exchange cards… which we did. Then he brings out a little gift box – all nicely wrapped!!! In it was a ring box which contained a stunning gold ring with a pink sapphire heart shaped center – GORGEOUS!!! I didn’t even know pink sapphires existed but I love it!!!

He’s having a half-day at work today so when he gets home we are going to bed to watch TV! Joy! (and yes it really is TV *wink*) We’ve both had a lot of sleep deprivation this last week and we have The Biggest Loser season premiere on tape from last night to watch as well as last nights Desperate Housewives episode. Caleb is at daycare and I can think of nothing better then snuggling up in bed watching TV….*bliss*

I hope everyone is having a fab Valentines Day and if you aren’t being treated by someone else then be sure to treat yourself because you deserve it!

Oooh one more thing…. has everyone noticed the challenge total!! Over 200kg gone now!!!! Wooo-Hooooo!!!

TFTD: “What the mind of a women can perceive and believe…she can achieve!”

Cheers P

Friday, 10th February 2006...

Hooray for Friday!!

Am super excited about our camping trip tomorrow as we are going with a great group of friends and it’s sure to be heaps of fun :) There will be 9 adults and 7 kids so Caleb will have no shortage of playmates. And then when the kids go to sleep ….the adults can play!! *wink*

Had another great day yesterday…just. As I said I slept in so didn’t walk in the morning but had best intentions to go to the gym in the arvo. But when 4pm rolled around and Simon came home and suggested a swim I jumped at it. I told myself I could do some pool exercises…yeah right! I played with Caleb instead and thought oh well I’ll do some toning exercises later tonight. We had tea and I was sitting on the lounge feeling pissed at myself for missing a day’s exercise when it occurred to me I should just go out and do it! So I got dressed and did my (previously) 1hr walk…and I got a new best time – 40mins!! Woo-hoo! I will be adding another block to it next time to bring it back to 1hr but couldn’t last night as it was getting too dark by the time I got home.

Food was great:

B- 1 slice grain bread, 1 egg scrambled with dash of skim milk and 1 glass of skim

L- WW mushroom agonolotti, watermelon and diet coke

S- 4 squares Caramel Dove chocolate

T- Home made bacon and split pea soup with dinner roll

Total: 23 points (and still have another 2 saved from Wednesday)

While I was out doing my walk I also got the chance to finish my fitness tests that I spoke of yesterday. Here are the final results and I will be repeating them every 6wks.

6 min walking Test = 650m

Resistance Test – 1min each

Half squats: 32

Kneeling push-ups: 20

Regular Sit-ups: 35

Flexibility Test –

L) arm over, R) arm under –7.5cm gap between middle fingers

R) arm over, L) arm under – touched

Sit and reach over toes R) side – 15cm past toes

Sit and reach over toes L) side – 17cm past toes

It will be interesting to see how those improve over time?

This morning I went for a bike ride for a change instead of a walk. Did 30mins of looping all around the neighboring blocks and covered heaps of distance.

My best mate Julie put me onto a Biggest Loser Website last night. I know a few people have asked me where to find it so check it out here http://www.commonvoice.com/article.asp?colid=4018 I imagine Channel 10 will launch an official site after it starts on Monday but this will wet your appetite in the meantime!

Speaking of websites…. I’ve also been asked what happened to the list of journals that used to be on the WW site? Well it seems they were scrapped in their latest site revamp with the new program but they can still be found on the Hong Kong WW site here http://www.weightwatchers.com.hk/WWI_Controller.aspx?Page=1023662

Ok so enough chatter for now. I have a mountain of stats to input for the challenge page and heaps of packing and organizing to do for this camping trip so better get a wriggle on.

Hope you all have a fantastic weekend! I know I will!!! :)

TFTD: “No matter what my past has been, I can always begin anew!”

Cheers P

Thursday, 9th February 2006...

Thursday already!!

Well I got my week off to a flying start yesterday :) Often I struggle a little on a Wednesday…there is sometimes leftover naughty food in the fridge from take-aways etc the night before…and I always have a day off exercise on Wednesday. But not this week!

While there are still profiteroles in the fridge I haven’t touched a single one. I’ll be sending what’s left with Simon to work tomorrow for the boys there. As for the exercise…well on impulse I decided to do a WW ‘Total Body Workout’ DVD yesterday while Caleb was napping. I also did the fitness tests in this weeks WW book (but I’ll explain those in detail later). So all up the exercise was:

1 minute each of –

Squats, sit-ups, push-ups, side squats, lunges, upright rows, pec decs, rotations, bicep curls, tricep extensions, dorsal raises, crunches and reverse curls. Followed by 10mins of stretching for flexibility and cool down :)

While it added up to just 25min workout it was good toning and felt great to do anything on a Wednesday for a change!

Food wise the day went like this:

B- 1 grain toast, 1 x 130g can baked beans, 1 glass skim milk (3.5)

L – WW Pesto Spaghetti, 1 Nestle diet yoghurt, diet coke (6)

AT- 1 slice no fat cheese (0.5)

T – 1 6inch Subway with extra chicken, diet coke (7)

S – 1 McDonalds soft serve cone (2)

Total: 19 points (allowed 22)

So with that behind me I’m off and running on another good day today. I’m cooking a bacon and split pea soup in the crockpot for tonight’s tea so that I can take leftover’s of it for dinner when we go camping on Saturday night with friends. It will be easy to just reheat in the camp oven over the fire and serve with crusty bread rolls. Mmmm!

Speaking of camping. I am determined not to go off track this time. I have planned out my entire menu in advance and my only treat will be some low joule vodka drinks – well ok a lot of them *wink* but better then usual heaps of beer + heaps of bad food :)

I’m planning to make turkey and salad rolls for lunch, the soup for tea, some toast on the campfire for supper and a bbq breaky of lean bacon, egg, mushroom and baked beans over the fire the next morning.

I hope to camp away from the toilet block again too for added incentive to get lots of walking done while we are away.

Last night I went to WW and got to do the recorder’s job by myself (with the lady sitting beside me this time). For the next 3 weeks I’m doing it solo while the leader is away and the regular lady does her job. Yippee!! I get a commission from the shop sales and the people attending also so it’s great to be able to earn a few extra dollars doing something I enjoy. It’s very motivating to see people’s weight loss on their cards as they come through!

Speaking of WW, I did the non-scale measures from this week’s booklet yesterday. Basically it’s just counting how many push-ups, sit-ups or crunches and half or full squats you can do in a 1 minute period. Then you record them and check them again every 6wks for your progress.

The 2nd stage is flexibility. For this you put one arm over your shoulder, and the other under and up your back and try to reach your fingertips together. You get someone to measure the distance between the fingertips and again re-measure every 6wks. The second one is to sit and stretch your hand out over your toes and measure how far past the toes you can do (this could be a minus result if you can’t pass the toes yet). For both of these you need to do it with each side’s arms and hands as the results will be different for both sides.

The last stage was a 6 min walk or jog. Measure how far you get in the six minutes and how you felt at the end and then, again, check every 6wks.

I’ve done the first stage, will get Simon to measure me for the 2nd stage tonight and then I’ll do the 6min test on my walk tomorrow morning (had a lovely sleep in until 6.15am today). I’ll post my results with tomorrows update then let you know how I go in 6wks time.

Ok…. I’ve raved on enough for now. But before I go…. I notice that the challenge is up to almost 180kg gone already!!!! You are all doing FABULOUS!!

Oooh one more thing…. about the chat room. I think I will nominate some times that I will come online to chat so that people can catch me. I have been going there a lot but people come and go before I can say anything if I am out of the room or looking at another page etc. Tomorrow I will be in the chat room from 2-3pm. I look forward to chatting with some of you then!!!

TFTD: “If you worry about yesterday’s failures, then today’s successes will be few!”

Cheers P

Tuesday, 7th February 2006...

Hoorah!!!

A loss :) 0.6kg so nothing spectacular but it feels great all the same. I have almost undone the 0.7kg gain of last week and now I have to lose 0.5kg next week to make my goal of ‘virgin fat’ by Feb 14th. Definitely do-able!!

Didn’t get my slam man work out done this morning as I had to go grocery shopping instead but I did do another 1hr walk. I really must stop calling them that incidentally as for the last 3 walks now I’ve done it in 45mins. I think from my next one I will add an extra block to try to get it back up to 1hr.

I measured it in the car today and it was 4.6km. Speaking of measures…I’m very excited to see that this weeks WW booklet has all types of non-scales measures of fitness and flexibility etc so I look forward to getting a baseline of them this week and seeing how I can improve on them.

I started back on yet another lot of antibiotics yesterday. That bronchial influenza I’ve had seems mostly gone – the coughing is at least – but I still bring up a lot of phlegm throughout the day so I wanted to make sure I get rid of it entirely. Between that and the whooping cough in November I feel like I’ve been sick forever!

Now…. I’ve had a few people ask me about running a chat page/forum of some sort for readers to converse on and share tips etc. I’ve had a bit of a play around and created a chat room for now. I’m not sure how effective it will be but while it’s in the trial stages feel free to have a visit and let me know what you think. I hope to improve it further as I see how it goes. It’s located on the old photo page and you can find the link for it to the left. Please do let me know how useful you find it – if at all?

Ok…. enough for today! Tonight Simon and I are going to out to a dinner and movie in a nearby city. He won tickets for both off the radio so it’s all free – yippee!! Because weigh-in day is our usual once a week take-away day I’m going to be able to chose a meal freely tonight and might even lash out with some popcorn during the movie for a treat before getting back to the grindstone tomorrow :)

TFTD: “Plan ahead, it wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark!”

Cheers P

Monday, 6th February 2006...

Monday – Monday…la la - la la la *wink*

Well how fast a weigh-in day rolls around when you don’t want it to? Tomorrow is the day and to be honest I don’t know what to expect. As of this morning I was still looking at a gain but I’ve had a great days eating and exercise under my belt and another workout tomorrow morning so anything is possible.

Oh to wake up to a miraculous loss tomorrow!!! *wishful thinking I’m sure*

Today’s eating:

B – 2 eggs scrambled with a dash of skim milk and a slice of no fat cheese

MT – 99% fat free fruit smoothie

L – Red Rooster skinless chicken salad, 10g Parmesan cheese, WW Caesar dressing

AT - 3 WW cruskits, 2 no fat cheese slices and a small tin of tuna in spring water

T – Red Rooster chicken salad with WW Caesar dressing, 10g Parmesan cheese

Total: 18.5 points

I know that I should be trying to get a bit closer to my allowed 22 points each day but the day before weigh-in is traditionally lean for me.

Week’s exercise:

W – nil

T- 1hr walk

F- 1hr walk + 1hr aquarobics class

S- nil

S – 1hr walk

M – 1hr walk + 1hr aquarobics class

T – will be 1hr walk + boxing session on slam-man

Slam man is this man sized hard plastic person, filled with sand so it can take a beating without falling over. You can just punch it however you like or follow a series of lights and beeps for a set time period. I have only just wondered why I hadn’t used him up until now? I felt that boxing at the gym gave good results but have never had the nerve to do it without the enforcer. It is right in front of all the cardio bikes, treadmills, cross-trainers etc and who wants an audience like that?? Not Me!! Slam-man on the other hand is in my garage and just asking for a flogging I reckon *wink*

I’m trying to stay positive about tomorrow’s result – whatever it may be?

I had a good talk to Simon about it all this afternoon. I had a big whinge session and bitched and moaned about how sick I am of the whole thing. About how hard it is to maintain focus and dedication as I head into the 15th month of this weight loss mission. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels like that occasionally. When you just want to feel sorry for yourself and say “I’m damn sick of eating right, and not being able to drink beer if I want to on a Friday or Saturday night, about not being able to eat what I want, and most of all about having to do so much bloody exercise”.

However…. I know all the reasons why I have to. I know I didn’t get to 120kg overnight and the hard work now is payback for the years of sitting on my fat ass and slowly eating myself to an early grave. I know I am getting healthier and fitter and that is going to put me in a much better position to conceive next time. I also know that I am doing it for my son and husband. To give my Caleb a fit, healthy mom who sets a good example of a healthy lifestyle. And to give my man a sexy broad to call his own *hehehe*.

I know all this … but dammit sometimes I just want to whinge anyway! But then I guess you got that about me before today *wink* Having said that though I’m feeling positive. I’m looking down the home stretch, knowing that I just have to keep going. Reminding myself that maintenance will be (slightly) easier and that once I get to my goal I may just be rewarded with the baby we want so badly right now.

So come on 80’s already!!! Simon was very supportive of my vent session and reminded me that I am only feeling so bad because of this plateau. He reminded me how the plateau around 114kg felt too but that I got past that and I’m now hovering 20kg below it. I know I’ll get there. Slow and steady.

Baby steps Paulene!!!

TFTD: “You have the power to change!”

Cheers P

Sunday, 5th February 2006...

Well the weekend has passed.

Successful ... but for two slips.

Chicken and chips for tea Friday night…Ugh!

2 Midori’s on Friday night. I know I said I wouldn’t be drinking but it was only 2 and that will be all in 12 days so I’m sure it won’t break the bank?

Otherwise I feel I’ve done well. Up until this afternoon I was catastrophizing my whole weekend based on that one hour on Friday night. But when I stopped to look at it again (see, told you I was practicing combating my negative thinking – recognize, challenge and replace!) I realized it was only one meal out of a whole week. It’s been great otherwise so I’m not going to berate myself over it any longer!

Didn’t get to that bike ride. Did have some swims but nothing as energetic as laps. This afternoon I headed out and did a 1hr walk. I left the dog and boys at home and went with my iPod for company. I love music, if I had my way I’d have it around me always. Well I guess I pretty much do when you think home stereo, car stereo, iPod, gym TV’s etc :) This afternoon I really got striding to some good tunes and cut 5min off my usual time. When I used to walk them as separate walks they were 30mins each. Now that I combine the two loops (picture a figure 8 with my house in the middle) I started at 1hr to complete it. Now I do it in 50mins and today 45mins!

I’ll be walking the next two mornings as well so I’m going to aim for 45mins both days. But if I take the dog I don’t take the iPod as well…without the music I may not maintain the pace…. but the dog so loves the walks…??? Hehehe I think I’ll do one day with, and one without, the dog and see how it effects the times. Yes…settled! *wink*

Friday night I didn’t eat after the chicken and chips so that was some small success. Last night I had rice crackers and salsa and tonight nothing so far. I’m finishing this then going to have a nice, deep, scented spa bath that Simon has run for me in the en-suite. I’ll let you in on a little secret *Shhh!* I am using ‘Johnson’s baby bedtime bath’…it’s lavender and chamomile and we always used it when Caleb was a baby. We stop using it for a year or more when his eczema reacted to it. We’ve just gone back to it and I love to inhale the scent and embrace the nostalgia of it so much that Caleb now runs up to me after a bath and offers me some body part to smell! *hehehehe* Ahhh I love him!

Regardless of how I frame it in my mind. I fear Friday night's tea will hold up the scales this week. At the moment they are up but it is still a couple days off yet. I know I’ve done great otherwise all week so I’ll just stay hopeful and take what comes. I did aim to hit the 92 by Feb 14th so I’ve still got another weigh-in after this week to go. I’m focused on the road ahead now and paying less attention to the bumps along the way!

TFTD: “Our rewards in life are in exact proportion to our contribution!”

Cheers P

Friday, 3rd February 2006...

Friday…Friday…Friday!

Why does that make me shudder?

I mean I love Fridays for so many reasons…weekend is here!!!…Simon home from work…. family time...social time…sleep-ins etc. Yet at the same time I know that it’s diet danger time!!

I don’t have any plans to go to the pub this weekend. We are going to our mate’s place tonight to play some pool, then I think he is coming here for dinner tomorrow night but I plan to avoid alcohol both evenings…tomorrow afternoon we have a friends naming ceremony to attend – but it’s at 3pm so if I have a good lunch and afternoon tea before I go I should make it through snack free until tea time. I hope.

I should be good? I’ve got two great days up my sleeve already – but I’m really doing it tough? I’ve managed to eat nothing at all after my evening meal for two nights in a row now. To me that is everything…as in all honesty I don’t find it that hard to do a perfect day…but come evening – I’m either eating food, thinking about what I could be eating, or thinking that I must not eat! It’s crazy isn’t it?? Does anyone else do this or am I the only one completed obsessed with food/eating/dieting/exercising? It’s obviously become a pattern for me to graze of an evening and now my body does not want to give it up easily.

In the last year or so I’ve known that if I must eat then I need to substitute for something healthy – but even then I must make good choices and still remember portion sizes. For some weird reason I find it easier to just tell myself I can’t have anything. So that is what I have done. But not easily. I am still eating close to my allowed points each day…often saving 2 or so a day.

Here is the last two days as an example:

Wednesday:

B- 1 grain toast, 130g tin spaghetti, 1 glass skim milk

L- 2 grain toast, 130g baked beans, 2 slices lean turkey breast, 1 mango

T-chicken, vegetable and hokkien noodle stir-fry with plum sauce

(20 points)

Thursday:

B-1 grain toast, 1 poached egg, 1 slice low fat cheese, 1 glass skim

L- WW mushroom agnolotti, Yoplait ‘No Fat’ yoghurt

T- 2 skinless chicken drumsticks cooked in apricot nectar and French onion soup, fresh carrots, beans, 100g basmati rice

S- 99% fat free fresh fruit smoothie for morning tea.

(20 points)

I know it's carb rich, and that I could add more fruit and low fat dairy to the mix and try to include snacks between each meal…but it’s not too bad for me :)

So…. I just hope that I am going to have a good weekend. I know it’s got nothing to do with hope. It’s in my control. I just have to stay strong.

Exercise has been good this week. So far it’s looked like this:

M- 1 hr walk + 1hr combat Taibo class

T- 1 hr walk

W – nil

T- 1 hr walk

F- 1hr walk + 1 hr aquarobics class

I’m planning to add in some swimming laps and cycling this weekend to get plenty of variety in the week.

Getting back into the morning walks has been easy since Caleb has been able to get out of bed himself. He has taken to getting up at 5am, opening the blinds in his toy room and reading books or playing with his toys. He never comes near our room though despite us telling him to come and tell us when he wakes up? Hehehe So when my walk time rolls around I know I won’t be sleeping in so I may as well be out enjoying the early morning and getting in some ‘me’ time and exercise time all at once :)

The last couple of days I’ve got Caleb a glass of milk, changed him from his (always dirty) nappy into his big-boy pants and set him up with some coloring-in or books or TV and Simon lays in bed while Caleb plays around him or nearby until it’s time for him to get up and get ready for work. I get home in time for a quick shower before seeing Daddy off and getting on with the morning routines and chores with Caleb. It works for me. On many levels. It’s great to know that even if the rest of my day goes to sh*t or I get a slack attack that I have at least got an hour of exercise in :)

Although it was totally coincidental and not deliberately planned that way I am relieved to see that I have 5 goals due in the next 4kg. 92.0kg for lowest weight…then…91.8kg for BMI under 30…then…89.9kg for 80’s (scream!!)…then…89.2kg for a total of 30kg lost.

I’ve not usually had so many goals so close together. But I gotta say – if you are someone just starting out and with a long way to go … I cannot recommend mini goals highly enough!! I’m likely to reach a goal almost every week or two in the coming month or so and there is nothing like a close target to spur you on that bit harder. As long as you don’t reward your mini goals with anything food related you can’t lose!!

My heart is racing just thinking about what’s to come. And once I’m in the 80’s … well gee…besides having turned back about 12years on my body history clock…I’ll only be a hop skip and a jump away from my goal in the 70’s!!! Woot!!

I am working on my negative thinking this week. I focus way too much on the 17.2kg I have to go to reach goal and I totally forget to credit myself for the 26kg that are gone. I am reminding myself of that whenever I can this week. Because if I can lose 26kg then what’s another 17.2g!! *wink* Right???

TFTD: “Never let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do!”

Cheers P

Thursday, 2nd February 2006...

I want another baby!!

We have always wanted a second child but I am trying to hold off going back to my fertility specialist until I reach my goal weight. When I stopped treatment in 2004 to concentrate on weight loss instead, my specialist told me that a loss of 5-10% body weight might even allow me to conceive naturally. I have now lost over 20% of my body weight without any success. I do feel though that I would now have a good response from treatment and could potentially fall very quickly if I were to go back to the regime again.

However…. I really want to finish what I have started. I want to get to my goal. I want to enter WW slimmer of the year contest. I want to see this WW membership out to the finish for the first time ever!

But we still want a baby… like Yesterday! :) This has only been made worse by lots of baby news all around of late. Several journaller's are themselves pregnant, one of my friends is now pregnant with her number 5 (!!) and another friend is getting ready to start trying for number 3. It’s hard not to be envious of women who can pop out babies whenever they chose :(

The further Caleb grows away from babyhood the more we wonder if we’ll get the chance to experience it again?? Don’t get me wrong – we are very grateful to have been blessed with him at all. We had resigned our self to the fact we may never have a child. So if Caleb is all we are to have then our life is 1000 times richer for it. But we still want another.

So…. the drive is now on!! If I’m going to wait until I finish this journey then it’s time we picked up the pace a bit. I have 17.2kg to go. I hope to reach goal by my 31st birthday on June 29th. That’s 21 weigh-ins away. Can I do that? I don’t know but I’m going to give it a damn good try. My ultimate aim would be to be pregnant by Xmas this year. I’m a pretty stubborn girl…so just watch me!!

On that note I started off the week with a great day yesterday. It didn’t come easy though I can tell you! First of all TOM arrived a week early, totally out of the blue. It actually made me feel better about the gain I had now because I had not been factoring fluid retention etc into the equation when I was beating myself up over the gain.

However with TOM came cramps and cravings. I was too sore and miserable to exercise yesterday. I could have pushed myself to go I guess but I just wanted to curl up and relax when I could – so I did just that! Then in the late afternoon the cravings struck. I wanted comfort food and in particular nacho’s kept dancing around my mind.

I had already planned a chicken and noodle stir-fry for dinner so I just kept going on autopilot. I got it cooked before I could change my mind by telling myself I might have a little taste of nacho’s after tea (all the while knowing I didn’t want to do that – but just letting myself think I would for now). I had the stir-fry and just kept on with the delaying tactics for the nachos. I had a shower instead. Then cuddled with Caleb on the lounge until his bedtime.

After that Simon and I would usually retreat to bed and watch TV in our room. However we are trying to break that habit. Partly because Caleb is now getting out of bed of an evening so we want to be closer to monitor that…but also because we think it will help our sleep in the long run. Anyway…I felt the urge to nibble so instead I had an ice-cold can of Coke zero and gave myself a manicure and pedicure instead. Occupying the hands is a great way to keep them out of the fridge and away from your mouth *wink*

In the end we watched TV until after Caleb was asleep then Simon had an early night while I watched the free WW DVD that came with this weeks program book. It was all about little changes and success stories and it was a great motivational kick for the end of the night.

So in the end I ate nothing more! And it felt great!! Finished the day on 20 points out of max allowed of 22.

This morning I got up and headed out for my 1hr walk at 5.30am and this afternoon I am either going to mow the lawns if it is fine (which takes about 90mins) or I’ll hit the gym. I’ll see how I feel at the time.

I’m focused on the goal ahead. First it’s 92kg for virgin fat, then it’s 91.8kg for BMI under 30, and then it’s 89.9kg to crack the 80’s. Baby steps that all add up and will one day bring me to the final step – Goal!!

TFTD: “Look at things not just as they are but as they can be!” and “The human mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original state!”

Cheers P

Tuesday, 31st January 2006...

Well I faced those dreaded scale demons today.

A gain of 0.7kg!

D’oh!

Hehehe I’m ok with it though. For me I know it’s important to weigh-in regardless and get on with the next week. I could have waited until tomorrow nights meeting and probably made a loss but why bother. I’d rather just get it on record then get on with my new week tomorrow :)

For me the beginning of the end is when I avoid a weigh-in because I’m expecting a gain…then I think oh it’s another week until I weigh in now so I can have a little treat today then start ‘tomorrow’. Then tomorrow becomes the next day, and the next, and one missed meeting becomes two and three and so it goes on.

Today’s gain was only my second since August so I’m pretty happy with that. I’m human after all?? Life happens to the best of us sometimes…what matters is that we keep on keeping on!

Next week I am going to be training again on the Wednesday night for recorder at the meeting but I’ll probably still weigh-in on my usual Tuesday morning.

I’ve made myself a new goal. I want to reach that oh-so-close virgin fat in 2 weeks!! My lowest weight before Christmas was 92.1kg. I am now 93.2kg. So that gives me two weeks to lose 1.2kg and be into that ‘virgin’ fat and at my lowest weight in more then a decade!

I CAN do this…I WILL do this!!

Just you wait and see :)

Last night’s dinner at my mother in laws was lovely. Everything tastes better when you don’t have to cook it yourself doesn’t it?? She used a hooded BBQ for the roast so all the vege’s were done in alfoil so no added fat. The meat was the tenderest lamb I’ve had in a long time and I even had my slice of bread stick without butter. I turned down a glass of wine in favour of my usual diet coke and had nothing to eat after dinner so I ended the day feeling like I had done well.

I headed out for my 1hr walk at 5.30am today with the pooch. I really wanted to stay in bed but I find that once I’m out I really enjoy it so I’ve just got to get up and get dressed without giving the alternative too much thought.

My morning walks have become a little problematic this week. You see Caleb has just had one side of his cot removed in preparation for his move into a ‘big-boy bed’ this weekend. So now that he can get out himself he thinks 5.15am is a great time to do that each day. Poor Simon is still dozing in bed when I leave and I fret about what Caleb could get up to in my absence. Yesterday I insisted Simon get up with him while I walked but today I set Caleb up in his bed with a stack of books and told him that if he needed anything he was to call Daddy. Apparently he did that just fine and the two of them played in bed until my return. Hopefully the novelty of his newfound freedom will wear off soon and he’ll go back to sleeping in until about 6am – one can hope anyway! Last night he wasn’t in bed till late after we returned from Granny’s but we still kept busting him at his bookcase time and time again until he finally crashed about 9pm. I’ve always said the boy was a total bookworm but that was ridiculous! :)

Anyhoo…he is at day care today so I’m going to tackle his toy room for some much needed thinning out!

Have a great Tuesday everyone :)

TFTD: “It’s a funny thing about life. If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it!”

Cheers P

Monday, 30th January 2006...

Well I promise not to be such a whiner today! *wink*

I do regret the negative tone of yesterday’s entry…but at the same time I refuse to apologize for it! This is my journal – my honest account of the highs AND lows of weight loss and dammit if I want to feel sad, under pressure or just plane fed up I will! I wouldn’t want to read some prettied up version of what this journey is about so I expect you don’t either.

I know everyone out there struggling with his or her weight, have had days like yesterday. I don’t want them to feel alone in that. Or to live under the false belief that I am some super-dieter! Because god knows I’m not!! I eat bad things sometimes, I go to the pub when I shouldn’t sometimes, I slack off on my exercise routine…but if I can’t live life along the road of this journey then stop this bus because I want off now!

Having said that though I can promise you one thing…I will NEVER give up! I’ll have my bad days/weeks, I’ll have my good days, I’ll have my whinge and moans…and I’ll share my jubilations and successes also. But the one constant is I’ll never quit. I don’t care if it takes me another bloody year to get to goal…that’s better than letting a year go by and changing nothing. I will always keep on keeping on. And yesterday that is just what I did!

I had a great day of eating yesterday:

Breakfast – bowl of fresh lychee fruit (3)

Lunch – WW pesto spaghettini (5) + 1pkt rice wheels (2)

Tea – 1 small marinated bbq rump steak (3), handful of oven cooked chips (4),

free salad (0) with WW Caesar dressing (0.5), a boiled egg (1.5) and a small

dinner roll (1).

Dessert – WW choc crisp bar (2)

Total: 22 points

Exercise: 30min afternoon walk (cut short from the planned one hour when I found a baby dove cast out of it’s nest that I then had to drive to a local wildlife preservation carer).

Today I have continued with sensible, regular eating and have picked up the pace on the exercise again. I went out at 5.30am this morning for my 1hr walk. Then at 9.30 I dropped Caleb at his Granny’s house for an hour and went to my first combat Taibo class at the gym!

It was great!!!! It was really just like aerobics with some kicking and punching moves thrown into the mix but it was intense, fast paced and lots of fun! I was one of 2 first timers in the class and I was relieved to see there were several women bigger then me doing it. I had visions of being the only uncoordinated newbie trying to keep up with a room full of gym bunnies :) It was a great workout and one I definitely plan to do again!!!

Food today has been:

Breakfast – 1 slice grain toast (1), 1 banana (1) and 1tsp honey (0.5)

Snack – 1 slice of ham (1)

Lunch – WW chicken hotpot (4) and 1 slice of grain bread (1)

We are going to my mother in laws for a roast tea tonight cooked in her new BBQ. Should be yummy and fairly low point.

The scales are being very kind to me. As of this morning they are still 1kg up but that is better then they were. I am hoping that by tomorrow they will be closer to last week’s weight (I am hoping for less but I’m a realist and that would be a bloody miracle!). I may decide to weigh Wednesday night this week instead of tomorrow morning if I think the extra day might make a vital difference? Either way though, I will weigh this week regardless. The only way to move on is to face the gain and get on with the new week.

I am not drinking this weekend! Shake your head in disbelief if you must *hehehe* Yes brewers have a sigh on relief that I won’t be draining your reserves this weekend *wink* Next weekend we are going camping with a big group of friends on Saturday night so I am planning to abstain from the evil drink until then :)

I think I may also try another power bar/pump class on Friday when Caleb is at daycare. All these classes are free after all so I may as well get to as many as I can!

I am FRICKEN SICK of the 90’s and I WANT TO BE AN 80’S GIRL!!!! Bring ‘em on baby!! *wink*

I’m very excited about the new Australian ‘The Biggest Loser’ starting next month here!! I noticed a picture of AJ Rochester in last weeks WHO magazine to promote the show. As I’ve mentioned before I’ve only seen one before pic and 2 after pics of her so I can’t wait to get a good look at her on the show. In light of my recent discussions with her I’ve actually dragged out her book to read over again. Very motivational!! TBL is going to be on every weeknight too which I think is just awesome. It’s like a daily motivational fix :)

Speaking of motivation…. you challengers rock!!! We are rapidly approaching 130kg lost now as a group – WOW!!! Best go input some more figures now as they just keep on rolling in. Keep up the great work everyone!!

TFTD: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care!”

Cheers P

Sunday, 29th January 2006...

Crikey! Where has the week gone already?

I’ve had a terrible week this week :(

I don’t know what is wrong with me but I have been really struggling of late. I do feel a lot of pressure to lose every week of the challenge and perhaps that leads to me stress eat or rebel in some weird way?? I certainly don’t expect everyone else to lose EVERY week but for some reason I expect it of myself…I guess as an example for everyone else? Before you swamp me in emails to the contrary – I know that this should not be the case and I need to cut myself some slack. But I guess knowing and doing are two very different things.

Friday was my mother in law’s birthday and we took her out to an all you can eat buffet for lunch. And yes…I ate a lot *wink* Then that night she wanted to go out so her and I hit the pubs until about 1am. I drank beer the whole night as I couldn’t afford my usual vodka so I’m sure I consumed many extra points in alcohol on top of the damage I have already done.

Yesterday was pretty good but I did succumb to a hangover-induced ¼ chicken and chips for lunch…D’oh!

I haven’t exercised all week!!! I had the best intentions to but something kept coming up and getting in the way. I did a 30min Esplanade walk this morning with the odd spurt of jogging while Caleb was riding his bike beside me…and we wandered around the markets this morning also…but neither of which was intense enough to really be called ‘exercise’. I am planning on going out for a 1hr walk later this afternoon. It’s been threatening rain all day but if I go out solo then it won’t matter if it rains on me or not. And most times that I think it will it doesn’t so I should be fine.

I find myself now wanting to drastically cut food or exercise to excess in the next few days to achieve a loss by weigh-in day. But I just don’t have the usual drive and discipline to do it this time for some reason. And to be honest, even if I did I don’t want to. I need to just accept that gains happen and if I do gain it’s not the end of the world. Instead or trying to rapidly turn back the clock I am trying to just pick up and carry on as normal…. knowing that what may go up this week will come down the next if I stay sensible and on track.

Who knows…. I may even pull off a miracle teeny loss by weigh-in day anyway? (but I HIGHLY doubt it!). Thinking back, other than Christmas, my last gain was in August so what am I so worried about??

I think I have just been plateau'd around the low 90’s for about 2 months now and it’s beginning to play on my mind. I feel like if I stop still I will always stay still…or worse even would be to start going back up.

I need to remember everything I’ve advised other people about plateaus in the past…. change my normal foods, change my normal exercise, drink plenty of water, take measurements and just keep on keeping on!

Hmmph!

Gosh sorry to be a whinge bag today. I feel kind of blue and I guess it shows. Best leave it here for now.

TFTD: “We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails!”

Cheers P

Thursday, 26th January 2006...

Don’t know what happened yesterday…didn’t realize I hadn’t made an entry :)

Finished the day right on 22/22 points yesterday, which was good. I’m back to counting points but I’ve found that a lot of the food I was eating on No Count has stayed with me. Since that is all basic, whole food that’s a good thing!

Must get back to the gym this afternoon! Has been far too long since I’ve had a good workout. Simon has been working out of town this week which means early starts for him so I haven’t been able to do my 5am walks. Unless I wanted to make them 4.30am and …. I’m not THAT crazy! *wink*

Speaking of Simon…. follow the guestbook link from the home page (not the one on this page) to see the lovely message he left me. What a sweetie!!

I had another night of training at doing the recorder’s job at WW last night. It’s the person who takes the money and puts the stamp in your book etc. The book work is a little complicated but I’m sure once I get the chance to do it myself I will be able to consolidate it all in my mind easier. Next time she said I could do it MYSELF with someone sitting beside me for support so that will be good. Then once I’m trained I’ll just be a back up in case I’m needed.

I got to thinking about my WW history the other day. When I joined for the first time in 1993 I had 8.6kg to lose!!!! When I joined for this last time in 2004 I had 43.2kg to lose!!! And believe me when I say there were many, many memberships in between those years. Boy if only I’d tackled it properly that first time I may not have wasted so much of my 20’s living half a life :( Still…I can’t turn back the clock now as much as I may sometimes wish I could.

The only way is FORWARD!

I wanted to say a big Congrats to Wendy who has finally let the cat out of the bag and fessed up to being 8wks pregnant! Enjoy your miracle :)

Today is Australia Day so on that note….”AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE…OI, OI, OI!”

TFTD: “Coming together is the beginning. Keeping together is the progress. Working together is success!”

Cheers P

Tuesday, 24th January 2006...

Woo-Hoo!

Another 1.5kg of lard lost off my butt this week :)

That now brings me only 0.4kg from my lowest weight ever (well at least for more then a decade)…and then it’s into ‘Virgin Fat’ from there on in!!

While the Christmas gain was less then ideal, I’m at least thrilled that it’s almost all gone again. I’m only human, and while I didn’t do great over Xmas, I can only hope to do better next year…and the year after that…. and…. well you get the point.

The only thing I’m hoping is that this week’s loss wasn’t too much because of my illness on Sunday and part of yesterday. If that were the case then it will all come back now that I’m eating properly again. I don’t think it will though as I only ended up missing tea on Sunday and lunch yesterday. The other meals were small but adequate so as long as I put in a great effort this week I hope to see the last of that festive gain go next weigh-in.

In the meantime I’m well on my way to my goal of losing 10kg during the challenge. To meet that goal I need to average a loss of about 0.8kg a week, and at 1.9kg gone in the first two weeks I’m right on track. Yippee!

My WW leader phoned me yesterday and asked me to come in to early to tomorrow nights meeting to be trained in record keeper again. I wish I was given one of the easier jobs like weigher or shop attendant but I’m sure once I get the hang of it I’ll be fine. In any case any time I help out it’s a free meeting for me so that’s reason enough. I’ll only be in reserve for now in case anyone is sick but it’s an added incentive to get to those meetings each week.

Well not much else to add today. Caleb is at day-care today. He has been moved up to Junior Kindy room now…what a big boy he is! I can’t believe he’ll be off to Kindergarten next year!!!

I’ve got another stack of results to add to the challenge page that have come in over night so I’d best make a start on that.

Have a great Tuesday everyone. I know I will!

Doesn’t a great loss just put the zing back in your step? Skippedy Doo Da…. Skippedy eh…. la la la :)

TFTD: “You are successful the moment you start moving towards a worthwhile goal!”

Cheers P

Monday, 23rd January 2006...

Sorry that I did not update yesterday. I was going along fine until lunchtime. Then I came down with some god-awful bug of sorts? I had a high temp, had shaky legs, aching back, hot and cold flushes…Ugh! I was sure it would lead into a vomiting and diarrhea thing but thankfully it did not. I couldn’t eat tea but did manage to get down a nudie juice (beautiful fresh juice mix of pineapple, mango and orange). In the end I finished the day on 10/22 points. Hardly ideal I know but I had no choice.

I’m still feeling a little off color today but 13hrs sleep has helped *hehehe* Simon has had to take the day of work today to help out with Caleb…Bless him :)

Needless to say it spelt an end to any exercise plans for yesterday afternoon. We did take Caleb for a bike ride down the Esplanade in the morning while we walked beside him but I’d hardly call that exercise. He sure had fun though. Likewise, I doubt I’ll be up for anything today either but I’ll play it by ear. If I’m feeling better by 6pm I’d like to get to an aqua class tonight but I’ll just have to see how I feel.

Ok…one more thing to sort out before I leave it for today.

The AJ story…(see 3 prior entries). I have had many emails and guestbook entries on the topic. While I appreciate everyone’s support I never meant for it to turn into an AJ bashing session. After all this women is amazing! If you are in any doubt of the changes she has made to her life, and that of her son, just check out her before and after pics here http://www.healthybodyclub.com.au/ Her and I have continued to converse via email over the weekend and have called a truce on the topic *wink* We both misconstrued the opinions of the other and let it grow bigger than it should have. So please, if you are thinking of buying her books…DO IT!! I’ve never read more honest and informative ‘diet’ books anywhere else. Enough said! :)

Have a great Monday everyone and keep those stats coming in. Can you believe we are going to smash the 100kg mark in the challenge in less than 2 weeks!!! Wow!! Just imagine what the group is going to achieve by the end. You all ROCK!!

TFTD: “You have the power to change!”

Cheers P

Saturday, 21st January 2006...

Saturday morning and I’m not hung over for a change *wink*

We went to the pub yesterday arvo as planned and I had 3 vodka and diet cokes and stopped at that. I think the memory of yesterday’s hangover was too recent in my mind to risk unleashing another :)

I got up this morning with the best intentions to start undoing some of the damage I’ve no doubt done to this weeks efforts over the last couple of days. I guess I just didn’t realize how hard getting back on track would be after the Xmas break? I’ve had some real hit and miss days of late.

Simon got up to Caleb this morning and left me to a blissful sleep in to 8am. By 9am I was at the gym. My first visit there all week I might add – tut-tut! I got straight into the cardio for maximum fat burning results.

Exercise Log:

Wednesday: Nil

Thursday: 1hr walk

Friday: Nil

Saturday: 45 min gym: 15min cross-trainer; 15min recumbent cycle intermitting

Intensity; 5 mins rowing machine; 10min treadmill fat burn program

It felt good to get some exercise done right away so at least if all else fails my day has not been a total loss.

Yesterday I finally got around to cooking the risotto. Yum!!! I’ve never cooked risotto before but it was so yummy and filling I know I’ll be cooking it again. I had one serve for lunch and froze the other 3 in single servings. I defrosted one for lunch today and it was yummo!

The recipe is from the WW cookbook “The Contented Tummy”: (slightly altered)

Chicken & Mushroom Risotto

Cooking oil spray

2 small chicken breasts (280g) skin removed

1 medium onion, finely chopped

2 garlic cloves, crushed

1 cup raw (215g) Arborio rice (be sure it’s not normal rice or it will glug up)

½ cup (125ml) white wine

2-3 cups chicken stock (from cubes)

350g mixed mushrooms sliced

½ cup fresh basil leaves, torn

½ cup (25g) finely grated parmesan

-Spray pan lightly with cooking oil spray and brown chicken breasts. Remove, slice and set aside.

-Lightly spray pan again and cook onion and garlic over medium heat for 4-5mins or until brown. Stir in the rice to coat and pour in the wine, reducing by half. Gradually add the stock, half a cup at a time, stirring continuously until all the liquid is absorbed, adding the mushrooms with the last cup of stock. This should take 20mins.

-Remove from heat, stir in chicken, basil and Parmesan. Cover and allow to sit, covered, for 5mins. Season to taste with salt and pepper and serve immediately.

-Serves 4….5.5pts per serve

Next time I cook it I will do some without the Parmesan so Caleb can have some too as I think he’ll enjoy it.

Now before I go…one more thing. The AJ Rochester story continues….

See mentions on AJ in my two prior posts. After yesterdays entry I received a somewhat narky email from her as follows:

Paulene,

Here is a non form letter – it is the only response you will get from me from here on.

I get thousands of letters – literally. What do I do? Respond to each personally?

Or not respond at all? It is a true dilemma.

I do the basic letter then add something personal. Usually but not always. I also have about five form responses and generally choose whatever suits after I read EVERYONE”S letters, often quite long and sometimes heartbreaking and yet inspiring stories. My response to your “accusation” , if you look again WAS a nudge nudge wink wink reply – thinking you would get that I was admitting it was a form response but NOT at the same time. Funny thing was I read your blog, I do that sometimes when people write to me and then I have now read the horrible comments you have made. Fair? I don’t think so. But let me tell you something, I understand. I spent a lot of my life unhappy at everyone else, angry at everyone else dumping anywhere I could. I get it. I know where you are and I am sorry that you feel my response is not good enough. I am also sorry you have to go about dumping on me publicly but do what you have to because I know who I am and this is the LAST time I will ever respond to anyone who bad mouths me – why have I bothered? Not sure. Maybe I might effect a great change within you. Maybe you will have an amazing turn around and realise that your energy and creativity could be put to better use making the world a better place. I truly hope you find happiness and joy, light and laughter. I also hope that one day you may understand why a form response is better than none at all. I have contemplated the options heavily and this is the only option I can see other than have a complete stranger send a reply like “AJ is so busy blah blah blah”.

Anyway, take care. Be happy and try to be nice at all times – it’s amazing the places that it can lead to.

xxaj

Crikey AJ take a chill pill! You fibbed, you got busted…no big deal. I don’t think she needed to take it all so personally?? After all this is a women that I’ve promoted heavily for some time as being inspirational, honest, funny and a great author. It’s just a shame the same effort could not be put into her emails.

Now I don’t get “thousands” of letters like her…but I do get hundreds every week. And I reply to each and every single one of them. The only time you will ever receive a form letter from me is in reply to your challenge stats each week to say I’ve received and published them. And even then I try to add something personal at the end of most of them.

So…here’s a public apology to AJ…I’m sorry! I hope that makes you feel better as I really think you over reacted. I guess you too still have some hang-ups from your fat days if you must assume people think and mean the worst of you all the time??? I was just expressing my personal opinion in my personal journal. If you need to take it as a personal attack on you then so be it?? You got it wrong!

Hehehe Anyway…. enough said on that for now. Thanks for all your emails of support on this topic. I see I am not alone in my thinking :)

TFTD: “An error gracefully acknowledged is a victory won!”

Cheers P

Friday, 20th January 2006...

Thank God it’s F-F-Friday!

My drinks with N went really well last night. Too well in fact as I’m nursing a killer hangover today…Ugh! Thank god Friday is a daycare day or I’d never survive the day *wink* Dropped Caleb off at daycare and the pooch at the doggie groomers and now I’m free to wallow in my self pity all day *hehehe*

It was great to catch up with N and after the initial meeting it wasn’t awkward at all. We caught up on all the gossip in our lives and his sister (my ex friend and Scotty’s ex) even turned up and that went ok too! Simon and Caleb joined us at about 6.30pm before driving us home about 8pm. For an early night I sure do feel like a bus has hit me today!

And what do we all feel like when we have a hangover?…Greasy food fest!!! Alas I know I cannot do that so I substituted. Simon kindly did a shop run for me early this morning before he left for work and got me a nice cold can of real Coke (Yum!) and a can of Zero Coke. I enjoyed every last drop of the real Coke and it was just what I needed to start the day. After dropping Caleb off I had visions of fatty and evil breakfasts dancing in my head…so I made a good substitute instead.

I came home and had a frozen WW meal for breakfast! Weird I know but it was only 5pts and was a much better choice then anything else I was craving I can tell you. Now I feel full, a little healthier and proud of my choice. It really is just a substitutes game at times this weight loss gig isn’t it?

I’m joining Simon and Scotty at the pub this arvo as they are knocking off work early today but I’ve told Simon I’ll be on diet coke all the way. I can’t even stand the idea of drinking any alcohol today. At least not yet anyway but then it is only 9am *wink*

Oooh interesting little update on the AJ story in my last entry. It seems she was full of shit as it was definitely a form letter she sent me. I know because I read the exact same letter that she sent me, word for word, posted here http://blog.buzzingbee.net/default.aspx on Bee’s site!! Now don’t get me wrong… I can see she’d be a busy lady…but if you are going to fob someone off with a form letter, and you get called on it…just own up to it! Instead she fibs and comes off looking silly for it. Whatever AJ!!

I’m still struggling with this bloody bronchial influenza crap. I did forget my anti-biotic last night but I’ve got a few days left on them yet anyway so it wont’ matter. I’m not seeing a huge improvement yet but hopefully soon?

I also did not get around to getting that risotto cooked…still! Scotty is coming around for tea tonight after the pub and as he doesn’t eat mushrooms I can’t cook it tonight either! But as I’ve had the chicken defrosted for two days now I’m going to have to cook it today anyway and just freeze it I think. I might have a serve for lunch then divide the rest up in single serves to freeze. Not sure what I’ll cook tonight yet. I’m in the mood for cooking today though so I might try something fancy?? Hmmm…might have to trawl the blogs for some recipe ideas I think!

Anyway…. I hope everyone is having a fantastic Friday and have a good weekend planned. No going out for us this weekend, which is a good thing! Just a quiet one around home and in the pool I think. Have a good one everyone!

TFTD: “As you think so shall you become!”

Cheers P

Thursday, 19th January 2006...

Well yesterday started off well…but it all went to shit by the end of the day :(

I went back to counting points yesterday. I’m sure the ‘No Count’ plans works for some people at WW but it’s not what works for me. So it’s points all the way for me from now on. Straight away I felt more in control and able to make healthy food choices while still staying on the points program. I had a great breakfast, great lunch…then tea struck. I was desperately craving chicken and chips so I made a decision to have it for tea. Nothing to excess but enough to cure the crave. Which I did.

The problem was we also hired out Charlie and the Chocolate Factory for the night. Great movie, but what’s not so great is if you hire it from Blockbuster you get a free Wonka chocolate bar with it. I tried to resist it but it kept calling me from the fridge *wink* In the end I went halves in it with Simon but by then the mind damage was done. I began the old self-sabotage thinking of … “oh well I’ve ruined the day now so I may as well keep going”. I then went on to share some Pods biscuits with Simon and finished it all off with a Cornetto ice cream.

Aaargh!! What was I thinking? Chocolate city or what! I felt very guilty, embarrassed and angry with myself. But I woke up this morning more accepting. I did it…can’t change it… so all I can do is keep on keeping on…which is what I did!

Got right back on track today. Have had a great breakfast and lunch and am currently sitting on 8.5 points out of my allowed 22 so it’s all looking good. Had a day off exercise yesterday but have done my 1hr walk again this morning. I am trying a new WW recipe for tea tonight…chicken and mushroom risotto...YUM! It’s only 5.5pts per serve so I’m going to have it with free tossed salad. Let you know how it goes.

Hmmm funny thing just happened. While I was writing this I got an email from AJ Rochester. Yes, she of the books that I worship. I emailed her last year after reading her first book and was not surprised to get no reply. I do rather suspect the email I just received was a standard form letter that she sends everyone as it was all about her and what she is doing and made no mention of any specifics I spoke of in my letter to her. Still I guess what can you expect from a celeb?? I can only imagine how busy the women must be!

She did say she is hosting the Australian version of ‘The Biggest Loser’, which begins next month on Channel 10. That should be interesting…I was already hanging for the show to begin and now I know she will be in it too I can’t wait!! My only criticism of her book was that there were next to no pics of her, before or after, so I look forward to getting a better look at her on the TV now.

Ok another update on that topic. In my email reply to AJ just now I said that I suspected it was a form letter but that I was pleased to receive it nonetheless. Another reply just came back from her assuring me that it wasn’t and that she had in fact seen my site!!! *giggles* Golly lucky I didn’t say anything rude huh…. hehehehe!

Err where was I…just came over all star struck *wink*

Ahhh yes my day. Well the other thing is I am going to the pub this afternoon. Not for a blinder or anything but just a couple drinks with an old friend. This guy, ‘N’ has been one of my closest friends for about 14yrs. He was a groomsmen at our wedding, he has lived with us in the past and we’ve been through a lot together. At times we have been closer then close (and no, not THAT close…I don’t exactly have the equipment he likes if you know what I mean?) and other times we have been the bitterest of enemies. We’ve always had this sick fight and make up cycle. For the last 3 yrs though our friendship has been very strained and I have not seen him in person during this time. His sister (previously also one of my closest friends for about 10yrs) broke our best mate Scotty’s heart when she dumped him last year for a 16 yr old boy…. she is 26 and now pregnant to the kid!…and in the resulting turmoil N and I stopped talking altogether for a year or so.

Anyway to cut this long story short…he’s in town and I’m meeting him – and maybe her too - this afternoon for a catch up and make up session. I’m a little nervous about it all and how it will go so I’m sure to have a few drinkies for some Dutch courage. But I intend to stick to vodka and diet coke so it should be all right? I’ll do the risotto before I go out if I get time so it’s ready to eat when I get home about 7.30pm and I won’t need to be tempted by anything else. Sounds great in theory right?? LOL

Will let you know how I fare tomorrow!

TFTD: “Day by day in every way I’m getting better and better!”

Cheers P

Tuesday, 17th January 2006...

Phew!

A loss of 0.4kg for week one of the challenge. Hardly a shining example am I? Hehehe Oh well…. I know that my big night at the pub on Saturday night did plenty of damage so I’m really grateful for any loss I can get :) I’ll do better this coming week.

When I went to WW today my magazine and newspaper articles were laid out on the entrance table for people to read *blush* I heard the ladies in front say ‘She’s standing right behind you’…hehehehe Everyone is so supportive and although I cringe with the attention it is lovely to feel so encouraged. I handed in my media release info sheet and a disc of before and after photo’s today as my leader had asked for so will let you know if anything comes of it?

Went to aqua last night but it was not on for some reason?? I considered swimming laps but decided on going home and doing a second 1hr walk for the day instead so all was not lost. I left the dog at home for a change and headed out with my iPod. Nothing keeps up your walking pace better then a good beat!!

I am amazed at the challenge results rolling in. Almost 54kg lost already and not all of the week one results are in yet! We are going to smash the 200kg mark on this challenge for sure!!! Wow since we have twice as many participants maybe we can hit 300 or 400kg!

I found an old WW membership book yesterday. I had joined in Jan 1998 at 105.2kg and left in Nov 98 at 99.2kg!! A whole year of yo-yoing and in the end I only lost 6kg!! The best part about seeing this was knowing for a fact that I have turned back the body clock (fat wise anyway) by AT LEAST 8 years and more. Wow!

Exercise Log:

Wednesday: 30 min walk

Thursday: 45min walk (10 in soft sand) + 1hr gym toning session as follows-

-5 min cross trainer warm up

-3 x 15 cable row machine 15kg

-3 x 15 Pull downs 15kg

-3 x 15 Push downs 10kg

-2 x 15 Peck Deck 15kg, 1 x 15 10kg

-3 x 15 Leg Press 20kg

-3 x 15 Leg Curls 10kg

-3 x 15 Leg Extensions 10kg

-150 crunches (90 straight up and 30 to each side)

Friday: 1hr Power Bar class at gym

Saturday: Nil

Sunday: 30mins mowing

Monday: 1hr walk in morning + 1hr walk in evening

Tuesday: 1hr walk.

I’m excited about getting back to points tomorrow. No count was not for me and I feel much more confident of my ability to stick to points. For now at least anyway.

Had a very bad nights sleep last night. I have been really suffering with this cough of late again and I had sputum tests done at Dr’s last week. Last night at 8pm my Dr rang (left message as we missed the call) saying the results were in and I “needed to know about them so please call back”. Yikes! I about crapped myself then and there. I tried in vain to ring back but couldn’t get through until this morning. By then of course I was convinced I had lung cancer or some other drastic disease (yes I’m an alarmist!). Turns out it is a bronchial influenza so I’ll live to fight another day *wink* I just have to take ANOTHER course of antibiotics to clear it up. Golly at about $22 a pop I’ve spent over $100 on antibiotics in just the last 2 months alone…Ugh! Still the cough and phlegm is really troubling me so I’ll be glad to take whatever will get rid of it.

Until then I’ll just keep coughing on and think of the benefit to my abs…Hehehehe! Between this and the whooping cough during the last challenge I should have abs of steel under all this fat somewhere :)

TFTD: “It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan!”

Cheers P

Monday, 16th January 2006...

Is it Monday already??!!!

Isn’t it funny how when you’ve had a good week, weigh-in day can’t come around fast enough? But if you go out and get sloshed on the weekend and eat bad food like I did *blush*…then it comes around all too fast :)

Well I should revise that and say that the eating wasn’t all bad. Sunday was perfect, Saturday was perfect…but Saturday night was not so good (Red Rooster for tea after the pub) … and add that to the fact I drank enough beer and sugary vodka drinks to sink a ship! Ugh!!

Saturday I was so very sore from power bar!! My chest especially, but also my thighs and butt. Even sitting on the toilet was a chore to get down to the seat…hehehe…it was a case of aim for the seat then drop and hope you landed well. To go any slower was like a squat and my muscles just screamed at the very suggestion of it…Ouch! Hehehe I haven’t felt like that since the early days with the enforcer. I missed it in some sick way. Being sore like that is a great reminder of the hard work I’d put in I guess?

I miss my workouts with the Enforcer :( It doesn’t look like her 12wk course is going to be on and for the time being I just can’t afford personal sessions. So until I can I’m just going to keep at it and attend at least one of her aqua classes each week. Like many bloggers out there that I’ve noticed…finances are tight after Christmas and I’m trying to cut expenses everywhere I can. I hope to start with her again in the next month or so but I’ll just play it by ear??

I did at least take those hangover pills Saturday night so I woke on Sunday feeling very tired (4hrs sleep) but otherwise ok. I had scrambled eggs with skim milk for breakfast but I was so starving I had to just about tape my mouth shut to make it to lunchtime. I just couldn’t’ stop thinking about greasy chicken and chips all morning!! I know that’s normal after a big night and that’s another reason I really shouldn’t drink to excess. Nonetheless I made it to lunchtime and had a big subway lunch instead and chose my usual from the low fat menu options. I’ll no doubt suffer the bread bloat and potential gain as a result but I figured it had to be better then greasy chicken.

We then caught up on some sleep while Caleb had his afternoon nap then got stuck into lawn mowing and housework in the arvo. After a swim I made a delish chicken and noodle stir-fry for tea, which even Simon enjoyed so it must have been good (usually stir-fry is a little too much vege for his carnivorous tastes!). After tea I knew I had to avoid eating so I hit the web and caught up on heaps on journals I’d fallen behind in. This has the double benefit of not only reading inspiring weight loss stories but also keeping my hands busy and away from food.

Evening eating is definitely my worst time. I can stay perfect all day then blow it after tea. Its’ something I’m working to improve every day.

Exercise Log:

Wednesday: 30 min walk

Thursday: 45min walk (10 in soft sand) + 1hr gym toning session as follows-

-5 min cross trainer warm up

-3 x 15 cable row machine 15kg

-3 x 15 Pull downs 15kg

-3 x 15 Push downs 10kg

-2 x 15 Peck Deck 15kg, 1 x 15 10kg

-3 x 15 Leg Press 20kg

-3 x 15 Leg Curls 10kg

-3 x 15 Leg Extensions 10kg

-150 crunches (90 straight up and 30 to each side)

Friday: 1hr Power Bar class at gym

Saturday: Nil

Sunday: 30mins mowing

Monday: 1hr walk and plan to do 1hr aqua class tonight also

As the log shows…I got back into the 5am walks this morning. I didn’t feel like it mind you but I had to do something extra to combat Saturday night.

Today Caleb and I did some cooking. We made apricot balls (just apricot processed with a dash of soy milk…rolled into balls and dusted with coconut then in the fridge to set). They are only 0.5pts each but since I don’t really like apricot that much I won’t be tempted to eat them yet Caleb can enjoy the products of his labour :) He sure does love to help mommy cook!

I am AMAZED at the awesome challenge results coming in. There are some very impressive losses… well done everyone!! I hope my own questionable result doesn’t let the team down this week :( Keep you posted on that one.

TFTD: “Our world conforms to our expectations of it!”

Cheers P

Friday, 13th January 2006...

I’m struggling on this ‘no count’ plan. I know that I’m doing ok but it’s definitely not the choice for me. WW encourages you to chose between the ‘points’ and ‘no count’ plan based on what works best for you…. and these last few days have taught me it’s points all the way for me.

The ‘no count’ works…. no doubt. The numbers on the scale are going down and I’m certainly not hungry. It’s just a guilt thing. The ‘no count’ is so much stricter I guess…for lack of a better word…in that you can’t really make it fit for the food you like to eat when you have to eat off a set list. For me that spells disaster.

If I make a good food choice (like Mondays Subway) but it doesn’t fit the program I feel like I’m off-track. When I feel off-track I am prone to feel self critical and negative. When I feel like that about myself or my progress I’m prone to break out and really do damage.

So it’s back to points I go. Out of interest…. I have counted up my points for so far this week and the last two days I’ve had 49 points from an allowable 46 so I guess it’s not been so bad. It’s all just a matter of playing the mind game that only those who’ve played it can understand. If points makes me feel better about how I’m doing and thus more likely to keep on doing well then points it is for me all the way!

Well I went to the Power Bar class today (also called Body Pump elsewhere). I found a web page from another gym that describes what a typical class entails here Oh Me Oh My!! Was it a workout or what. Now I’ve heard other bloggers talk about body pump and it always sounded challenging – but now I know! Don’t get me wrong…it was do-able…and considering I only used 1kg on each end of my barbell throughout the entire class I had it relatively easy. I shudder to think about doing some of the exercises with any higher weight…Ugh! It was a great total body workout though. Lots of leg work like squats and lunges though which I detest – though do because I know they’ll give my legs the result I want in the end. I think the other class members must have thought there was an earthquake just below me because my legs were shaking and quivering like jelly only 20mins into the 1hr class. Thankfully we moved on to back, shoulders, chest, arms, abs etc eventually or I think I would have had to crawl back to my car *wink* The time certainly went fast though. The music was good – the air-con was cranking…what more could I want :)

I feel really sore and weak all over still and I know I’m going to be cursing it tomorrow but for now it feels good! It feels good to try something new, to challenge myself and to come out of it knowing I had a damn good workout. I think I’m hooked.

At the start I was thinking ‘no way am I doing one of these classes again – I HATE lunges’…but by the end I was like ‘I can so do this again’. I want to try out some other classes but Power Bar are the only one’s on for both of my day-care days. The only evening class is Yoga and all the other one’s (combat Taibo, step fat burner, low-impact fat burner and pilates) are all on during the day. Still if I can arrange childcare I’d love to have a go at the two fat burner ones some day soon when I am able??

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend planned. We are going out tomorrow night but having a quiet one tonight. I’ll be catching up on some journals while Simon watches the cricket. We are having low fat hamburgers for tea tonight – Yum!

Exercise Log:

Wednesday: 30 min walk

Thursday: 45min walk (10 in soft sand) + 1hr gym toning session as follows-

-5 min cross trainer warm up, -3 x 15 cable row machine 15kg, -3 x 15 Pull downs 15kg

-3 x 15 Push downs 10kg, -2 x 15 Peck Deck 15kg, 1 x 15 10kg, -3 x 15 Leg Press 20kg

-3 x 15 Leg Curls 10kg, -3 x 15 Leg Extensions 10kg, -150 crunches (90 straight up and 30 to each side)

Friday: 1hr Power Bar class at gym

I was pleasantly surprised to look at my exercise calendar today and see that I’ve done at least one, sometimes two, workouts a day – 12 days out of the last 13! Woo-Hoo! And I worried I may slack off after the challenge ended!

Happy Friday the 13th everybody…beware ladders and black cats!! *wink*

TFTD: “We are the creators of our own surroundings!”

Cheers P

Thursday, 12th January 2006...

Well my day 1 got off to a bit of an uneven start. Did great all day…until teatime. You see my cough has come back worse then ever and I am beginning to really suffer with it again so off to the Dr I trotted. My appt was 4pm but I didn’t even get into the Dr until almost 5.30pm so the tea I had planned to have was a bit of a write off by the time I got home. So take-away it was.

I made a good choice and had Subway…. which on points would have been fine. Except on ‘no count’ it’s a maximum of two slices of bread a day – which I’d already had for lunch. So I counted the bread from Subway as best I could and I can live with that.

Otherwise it was a great day.

Today has been even better. All went well on the ‘no count’ today. I’ve been getting into the water at last and have had very little diet soft drink. I have tried the new ‘Coke Zero’ though. I don’t know if it’s just a promotional change of name or something because diet coke also has zero sugar anyway and the only difference between the two is a little less sodium in the zero variety and 0.1kj difference per serve … so basically nothing – except I think it tastes more like ‘real’ coke…which is GREAT for a reformed coke (a-cola) junkie like me!

Exercise has been good today. I headed out at 5.30am for a planned jog/walk along the beach. Until I got there and found the tide was in so high I only had about 2m of soft sand available to walk in. So I did 10mins of soft sand walking, 20 of regular beach walking further on where the dry sand was a little wider, then 15mins back along the Esplanade path. Incidentally, it was a productive walk because I found a good quality snorkel and goggle set washed up on the beach … Score!

This afternoon I wanted to do something different so I headed to the gym with toning in mind. After a quick warm-up on the cross trainer I got stuck into all the weight machines. It felt good too be doing slow steady exercise for a change instead of running/swimming/riding around like a mad thing. I felt quite muscle sore at the end, which was a nice reminder of sessions gone by with the Enforcer. I did make sure to have a good stretch at the end so I’m hoping I won’t be too sore tomorrow. (See exercise log below for details of workout).

While I was there I got to chatting to the owner about the classes they run. Tomorrow morning after dropping Caleb off to daycare I was planning to head to another aqua session. But as that costs money and the classes at the gym are free as part of my membership I thought I’d give one of them a go for variety. It’s called Power Bar and my impression is that it’s a group exercise class using weights (on bars)– that’s the extent of my knowledge *hehehe* but I’ll let you know tomorrow how it turns out. I know from prior use of the room that it has music and awesome air-con so it won out over the sunburn inducing pool in scorching heat at aqua :) I’ll stick to the night classes for that one.

We now have 100 people in the challenge. Oh – My – God!! :) And a big congrats to Kysa who had the first result to submit for the challenge and it’s a whopping 1.7kg loss. You go girl!!!

Exercise Log:

Wednesday: 30 min walk

Thursday: 45min walk (10 in soft sand) + 1hr gym toning session as follows-

-5 min cross trainer warm up, 3 x 15 cable row machine 15kg, -3 x 15 Pull downs 15kg

-3 x 15 Push downs 10kg, -2 x 15 Peck Deck 15kg, 1 x 15 10kg, -3 x 15 Leg Press 20kg

-3 x 15 Leg Curls 10kg. -3 x 15 Leg Extensions 10kg, -150 crunches (90 straight up and 30 to each side)

Happy 18th Birthday today to my stunning niece Zara! Look out legal age here she comes :)

TFTD: “You are today what you have consented to be!”

Cheers P

Wednesday, 11th January 2006...

92 people in the challenge now and counting!!!!

Holy Cow!!!

A lot of people are commenting to me about the amount of work involved in running such a big challenge. For all you participants…listen up!

The only hard part is chasing results when people don’t contact me for weeks on end. I don’t have the time or inclination to chase anyone up individually. It would be impossible for me to manage such a task for so many people. The way it is now is relatively easy. Your email comes in with your weight…I add the data to the page then publish the update and send you an email to confirm that I have done so. Simple.

Last challenge I was giving people extra grace time to contact me, I’d contact them and wait for a reply for a week or two before removing them from the challenge. Even then I’d write ‘withdrawal pending’ next to their name so they could see that if they didn’t contact me I’d remove them. Yet still so many people couldn’t even give me the courtesy of letting me know they wanted to pull out of the challenge.

I don’t care if you want out! Things happen…. life happens…. I understand. But PLEASE…if you’ve had enough for whatever reason just let me know?? This time there will be no emails asking what’s happening…. there will be no ‘withdrawal pending’ notices. If you do not contact me with a result for two weeks running your name and all your records will be deleted from the challenge page. Simple.

It’s the only way that I can make this manageable. I hope you can understand why it has to be this way? If you are going away or for whatever reason know you can’t contact me for two weeks or more then just let me know…. I don’t bite *wink*. I’ll mark you as ‘away’ on the table just until you return and give me the results to fill in, then I’ll remove the ‘away’ as it’s really only a cue for me to remember that you have told me that you are going offline for a while.

From time to time I may need to tell challengers things, housekeeping type jobs etc…. this will be done in this journal setting. So if you are in the challenge keep an eye on my journal because you might miss a message that could be important.

Ok…. lecture over. :)

I do want to say that it is I who am grateful to you who are participating. Everyone is thanking me for running it, but it’s me who gets all the motivation and constantly arriving reminders (in the form of your emails) of what I am trying to achieve. Together we can make this a fun and easy time…. but one that gives us all more then we could have dreamed. Let’s kick ass girls!!! (And I say girls because as far as I am aware there are no men in the challenge – although you are more than welcome!).

So…. what else other than the challenge *wink*

Well I started the challenge officially for myself today. I always have a bit of a ‘diet holiday’ on weigh-in day so things kicked off for me this morning. I have begun a brand new tracker for my brand new challenge. I’ve started the no-count program for my first real trial run of it and…. I’M EXCITED! There really is plenty to eat on this program…. it’s just a case of getting rid of the extra’s or counting them in the mere 3 pts a day (or 21 a wk) which will take some getting used to. But I’m committing to at least one full week on it and I’ll see how I go??

For example…tonight I’m cooking chicken breast and vege’s for tea. Normally I’d do them as apricot chicken…. but now that would mean having to count the apricot nectar and French onion soup in the minimal daily extra points so instead I’ve got to change them to no count. I’ll probably make a marinade…e.g. garlic, soy etc from the no point list and oven bake them so I don’t have to spend any extra points on it? Will keep you posted on that one.

Today is hot, hot, hot! This morning I took Caleb down to the Esplanade at 7.30 for him to ride his bike while I walked beside him. I figured it would be cooler then and I could swap it for my 5am walk. Hmm not so successful. For one we only made 30mins before Caleb was complaining of being ‘hot’ and also I don’t think he kept up a brisk enough pace for it to be too helpful to me as exercise. But nonetheless it is still activity I guess so all is not lost. I’ll just have to do another session of something this afternoon. Not sure what yet?

One more thing before I wrap it up today…I found this excellent site yesterday called Confessions of a Fat Admirer. http://www.lardbiscuit.com/lard/truefa.html It’s written about overweight women from the perspective of a man who prefers that. Funny!! Check it out and let me know what you think?

TFTD: “What a person does, tells us what they are!”

Cheers P

Tuesday, 10th January 2006...

For anyone who may have missed it…. please see the entry below this titled “Alert”.

Ok…well today was D-day! My first post Christmas weigh-in … and as suspected it was a big fat gain. But I’m ok with that :)

In the three weeks over Xmas I gained 2.3kg. It actually wouldn’t have even been that much if I hadn’t dressed differently today.

You see I’m one of those silly sausages who always wear exactly the same outfit to weigh-in every week. I wore the first outfit until it was hanging off me and then moved on to a much lighter outfit over summer. However I was sick of wearing it and I figured if I was going to gain today I might as well make today the day to change outfits. As I now wear a denim skirt to weigh-in it would weigh a few hundred grams more but now that it’s done I can keep wearing it each week now and it won’t matter.

My lovely leader, Gayle, had my WHO article on display on her front table *blush* She’s sending it, my newspaper article and a media release that I have to complete off to WW. Apparently it’s so they can use my story/pics in advertising or promotions if they choose to. *Gulp*

So now that I have my start weight for the challenge I’m excited to see just how far I can go with it. As I said earlier… my goal is to lose 10kg over the 12wks. That would bring me to about 84kg and therefore only 8kg away from my final goal *squeals*

I brought a brand new tracker today ready for the challenge, as tracking is something that I have let slip since the WHO challenge ended. That and water is my focus for the next week. I really only drink water when I exercise (terrible I know!) and the rest of the time it tends to be diet coke. So this week I am going to try something new. I have read lots of times about drinking a glass of water before each meal to settle appetite and stay hydrated so I’m going to give that a go this week. If I do it for M’tea, A’tea and Supper also that will be at least 1.2L extra of water I’ll get in each day. It’s a start :)

I finally got back into my 5am walks today too. It was hard to get out of bed…especially since Caleb has finally got back to sleeping until at least 6am now…but a necessary evil so out I went. My exercise since getting back on track has been as follows…

Exercise Log:

Monday: 40min bike ride with Caleb on the back

Tuesday: 70mins gym (40min treadmill fat burn program level 8, 5min rowing, 100 crunches, 3 x 15 pull downs of 15kg and 3 x 15 pushdowns 10kg.

Wednesday: nil

Thursday: 1hr Esplanade walk with pram + 30 dips + 30 pushups

Friday: 1hr gym (20min bike, 10 X-t, 5min row, 15min treadmill jog/walk, 100 crunches)

Saturday: 50min neighborhood walk

Sunday: 75min bike ride with Caleb on the back

Monday: 45min gym (bike, cross trainer, treadmill and rowing) + 1hr aquarobics class

Tuesday: 1hr walk

Tomorrow I plan to do a long Esplanade walk while Caleb rides his little bike beside me. He loves it and it’s almost too fun to be considered exercise.

I’m also going to give the new ‘no points’ program a proper run as from tomorrow. I’ve had a few halfhearted attempts at it but I need to knuckle down and work it right for a good week to see what results I get.

Keep you posted :)

TFTD: “After you’ve worked hard to get what you want, take the time to enjoy it!”

Cheers P

*ALERT*

SHIT!!!

While I was at aqua class tonight Caleb got on the computer and deleted god only knows what!? My email folder for this website with all it’s content…. gone!

My challenge page editor that was open on the desktop has had colors changed and god knows what else??

I had answered all emails that came in prior to about 4pm….and listed everyone who asked to be listed into the challenge. So if you sent me something since then and I haven’t yet responded…or your name has not appeared on the challenge page. PLEASE RESEND!

Also if you find anything has changed or been made incorrect on the challenge page in regard to your info please let me know!

While he is quite the little computer buff it would seem that I have to close my email and site builder down each time before he uses it from now on.

I’m trying to keep a sense of humor about it but…. Man I’m struggling!!

On another topic…. today has been great! Great food…. great exercise! Simon arrived home early unexpectedly today so I hit the gym on impulse. I did 45mins which consisted of 15mins recumbent cycle level 8…15mins cross-trainer level 4…5 mins rowing…10mins treadmill jog/walk. Then tonight I went and did an aquarobics class as well. So all in all a good day.

Now if only I could get my emails back!!!!!!

Cheers P

Monday 9th January 2006...

Hey everyone!

Pushed for time this morning but just wanted to drop in and leave a quick message for all the participants in the 2006 12-wk challenge that begins today.

GOOD LUCK!!!!

Remember it is only a competition against yourself so do it safe and have fun along the way.

We have 60 people signed up so far so remember to always include your SCREEN name and weight in kilos in your email each week so I can keep track of who’s who :)

Before I go today I wanted to mention this fantastic post in the lovely Beck’s journal. It is hilarious and a brutally honest look at the shameful realities of life as a fatty *wink* See it for yourself here http://beckschallenge.blogs.com/beckschallenge/taboo_fat_facts/index.html

Ok…. well good luck everyone!!! I’ll have my start weight after WW tomorrow so stay tuned.

TFTD: “Study the consequences all the time!”

Cheers P

Sunday, 8th January 2006...

Is it Sunday already????

I can’t believe Simon has to go back to work already tomorrow :(

We had a quiet night last night. Just read in bed until about 10pm then caught up on some much needed sleep.

This morning we headed out just before 8am for our family bike ride. We were gone 2.5hrs all up but we stopped at two parks and Poppy’s house along the way so I measured 75mins of actual riding time, which was great. It’s so much better to get exercise out of the way early so I don’t have to think about it again for the rest of the day.

So…. tomorrow is the big day! Day 1 for the new 2006 12-week Challenge!!! Already we have 54 people signed up and there are bound to be more to come over the next week too. I have to set next Sunday as the last day that people can join in so if you are thinking about it – do it now!!

The last challenge started with a similar number of people but we lost a fair few along the way. I’d love to get rid of another 200kg as a group! How cool is it to know that we could all play a part in ridding 400kg of fat from the world!!! :)

Speaking of fat…. hehehe… home scales said 96.0 this morning. That would be about 95.6 on the WW scales and therefore 3.5kg up over Christmas (SHIT!!!!). However there are still two more days to go and I’m going to weigh-in regardless so whatever will be will be.

While my eating/drinking has still been less then perfect this week at least I have got back on the exercise wagon after my Xmas holiday and I’ve done 6hrs this week. Not up to the previous 10+hrs but still a great start back all the same.

My WW weigh-in on Tuesday morning will be my official start weight for the challenge. I am eager to see what that is so that I can set my weight loss goal for the challenge. I know I lost 13.7kg in the last 12wk run but this time I will be without my wonderful Enforcer for the most part so I think I may aim for losing 10kg this time?? That would bring me damn close to my final WW goal of 76kg *Joy*

Exercise Log:

Monday: 40min bike ride with Caleb on the back

Tuesday: 70mins gym (40min treadmill fat burn program level 8, 5min rowing, 100 crunches, 3 x 15 pull downs of 15kg and 3 x 15 pushdowns 10kg.

Wednesday: nil

Thursday: 1hr Esplanade walk with pram + 30 dips + 30 pushups

Friday: 1hr gym (20min bike, 10 X-t, 5min row, 15min treadmill jog/walk, 100 crunches)

Saturday: 50min neighborhood walk

Sunday: 75min bike ride with Caleb on the back

TFTD: “Don’t just go through the day – get from the day!”

Cheers P

Saturday, 7th January 2006...

Well I survived my night out. Not too successfully as far as weight loss efforts go but it was a great night all the same *wink*

I wasn’t entirely bad…. hehehe I did drink beers for a change as finances dictated we all share jugs…. but they were light beers if that makes any difference? Hehehe I had an entrée sized Caesar salad for tea that was delish!! Unfortunately I also had two slices of pizza at the end of the night but considering there were almost two family sized pizza’s left over I think I showed some restraint by not shoveling more in :)

Simon and I tried out these funky anti-hangover tablets last night. We took two of the horse-sized pills before beginning to drink then had another 3 before bed. I must say that considering we only had about 4hrs sleep … we were both tired this morning but not hung over so I guess I’d call them a success!

We hit the pool first thing this morning to wake up then headed off to Maze Mania 4 kids to let Caleb play off some steam. I don’t know if she had seen the newspaper or WHO article but the lady who runs it (and who used to work at my old Curves gym) was most complimentary. She asked how much I had lost and how and told me I was looking great *beams* She even smacked me on the ass as she passed later and said ‘look at your skinny butt’!! Nice sentiment but I can assure you I will NEVER have a skinny butt. You’ve heard of the expression junk in the trunk right? Well I have a HUNK OF JUNK in my trunk *wink* I’m never short of a soft place to sit :)

I had a diet coke and a little packet of crisps there (2pts) and a WW mushroom pasta meal for lunch (5pts) and we are having a turkey breast roast with potato, pumpkin, sweet potato, onion, beans and corn for tea…Yummo! As is typical I woke up the morning after craving chicken and chips or some other naughty but I knew I’d done enough damage last night already without adding to my troubles.

After I got the roast ready I had an hour to kill this arvo before I had to get it into the oven so on impulse I headed out for an hours walk. I left Caleb and the dog at home for a change and just headed out solo with my iPod. I only got the iPod for Xmas and I love it!!! I have stocked it with lots of up beat exercise songs and it is so much better then the MP3 player I’d used previously. A big storm was on the way when I left so I was so sure I’d get wet I even took some zip-lock bags to stash my iPod in to keep it dry … but as is usually the way … I made it home without any rain at all!

So all in all…. things are going ok. Back to the 96’s on the scales today but so be it. I’ll reserve my final judgment until Tuesday morning’s official weigh-in.

Exercise Log:

Monday: 40min bike ride with Caleb on the back, Tuesday: 70mins gym (40min treadmill fat burn program level 8, 5min rowing, 100 crunches, 3 x 15 pull downs of 15kg and 3 x 15 pushdowns 10kg. Wednesday: nil

Thursday: 1hr Esplanade walk with pram + 30 dips + 30 pushups Friday: 1hr gym (20min bike, 10 X-t, 5min row, 15min treadmill jog/walk, 100 crunches), Saturday: 50min neighborhood walk

Tomorrow morning we have decided to head out on a big family bike ride about 6am when Caleb wakes. We’ll pack a morning tea for him and ride the length of our Esplanade, stopping for Caleb to play in all the parks along the way. Should be fun and great exercise too! Leaving early will see us home before it gets too hot too.

Hope everyone is enjoying a lovely weekend!

TFTD: “If you want to be successful get around successful people!”

Cheers P

Friday, 6th January 2006...

I’ve always loved Fridays…. as disastrous as they may be for my diet…. there is something about the expectancy of the weekend ahead?

Sadly this is also the last day of Simon’s holiday and he must return to work on Monday….boo-hoo! It has been great having him home for nearly three weeks and Caleb has just loved it! He’s enjoyed the company of both of us going to the movies with him, to the library, to public swimming pools, his own pool, birthday parties, our own NYE party here…. he’s had bike rides and big walks with Mummy while Daddy has slept in and he’s had a big ride on his own bike one morning while Mummy slept in and Daddy walked beside him :) He’s had Xmas and Carol’s by candlelight…he has holidays and motel stays … visitors and he’s been the visitor. It’s been a big holiday!

But all good things must come to an end so tonight we are going out for the last hurrah of the holiday season. Simon is out playing golf with mates this morning while I hit the gym and caught up on some computer work. Caleb is at daycare and tonight he’s having a sleep over with Granny, which finally he loves doing :)

Tonight we are doing the usual…hitting the pub *wink* The usual crowd are going to the usual pub for tea…then we are going to move onto a more club-like pub at about 9pm to settle in for the evening. Should be lots of fun and I’m really looking forward to it.

I’ve been having a “I’m so FAT!” crisis this last week *hehehehe* I hate all my clothes and nothing looks good anymore. You’ve all had those days right? But thankfully the scale numbers continue to drop and I’m back to the 95’s today.

Hit the gym this morning for an hour. Did 20mins recumbent cycle on level 7 alternating medium pace with hard pace each minute…. I then did 10 mins on the cross-trainer level 6…then 5 mins rowing machine…15mins treadmill, walking at 6.4km for 10mins and jogging at 7.5km for 5mins…then finished up with 100 crunches. Phew!

I’ve come home now and had a nice swim…. have caught up on my computer time and now I’m going to kick back with a magazine until Simon comes home from golf with our Subway for lunch *bliss*

Must get back to the Dr next week I think. My cough has really come back with a vengeance and so has all the yucky phlegm etc (sorry for the details!). Caleb has had a cough for a few days now with runny nose and everything so I just assumed we’d both caught some virus but I’d best go have us checked out I guess. Don’t want that damn whooping cough to flair up again!

Exercise Log:

Monday: 40min bike ride with Caleb on the back

Tuesday: 70mins gym (40min treadmill fat burn program level 8, 5min rowing, 100 crunches, 3 x 15 pull downs of 15kg and 3 x 15 pushdowns 10kg.

Wednesday: nil

Thursday: 1hr Esplanade walk with pram + 30 dips + 30 pushups

Friday: 1hr gym (20min bike, 10 X-t, 5min row, 15min treadmill jog/walk, 100 crunches)

Have a great Friday night everyone! I know I will *wink*

TFTD: “Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t this where the fruit is?”

Cheers P

Thursday, 5th January 2006...

Well I’ve had lots of great feedback about the new photo page…thanks! I’m glad it’s quicker to load and easier to read now :)

Speaking of pages…I made a big mistake with the old challenge page. I thought I’d saved it before deleting it for the new challenge – I was wrong! So now I’ve lost everyone’s names and stats etc…. shit! I’m so sorry but that means I can no longer send out the participation certificates that I’d promised :( I am going to go back through my Internet history and see if I can find the old page and if so I’ll organize the certificates soon. If not – sorry???

Every time I walk past the study I see another email waiting for me with someone wanting to join in the new challenge. The names are pouring in and we’ll have another big group this time, which means a great total loss again I hope.

Simon and I took Caleb to his second cinema trip yesterday. We saw Chicken Little and it was great! I even stayed strong and avoided all the yummy caramel popcorn, chocolates and other treats on offer. Instead I settled for a large diet Pepsi and left it at that. Yey me!

I was most pleased and relieved to see the numbers on the dreaded scales going down at last today. I was about 93kg on my home scales before the holidays and I’ll confess to you now that earlier this week I almost died to see a 99kg come back!!!! Holy Cow!!!! That was an evening weigh though which I know is not an accurate reflection but it was all the shock I needed to kick start me back into action for the New Year. I swore I would NEVER see 100kg again and I’m going to make sure I stick to that.

Yesterday was a great day of eating and my exercise is back up and going…. not full strength yet but it’s a start after 2-3wks of slothdom *wink* I was most relieved to see 96kg on the scales today. I know a lot of the initial gain was water retention etc so I’m hoping to face perhaps just a 1-2kg gain by next weigh-in on Tuesday?? Whatever the results though I’ll just accept them and keep moving forward. It’s all we can do after all. It’s not a failure to slip – especially over Christmas/New Year…. the failure would be to give in…and I’ll NEVER do that - NEVER!

I have hated the feeling that comes with poor eating and inactivity. A year ago it was the norm for me. Now it is not. Now I loathe those old feelings of guilt and shame at the end of the day. Knowing that I had eaten poorly or failed to exercise brings back all those old feeling of self-loathing and failure. These last few weeks I have missed the feeling of going to bed feeling pride and accomplishment for a day well done.

However it’s behind me now and it’s a new week…. a new month…a new year…. and a new me. 2006 is my year to goal!!!!

Exercise Log:

Monday: 40min bike ride with Caleb on the back

Tuesday: 70mins gym (40min treadmill fat burn program level 8, 5min rowing, 100 crunches, 3 x 15 pull downs of 15kg and 3 x 15 pushdowns of 10kg.

Wednesday: nil

Thursday: 1hr Esplanade walk with pram + 30 dips + 30 pushups

As I said, not back to full intensity yet, but it’s great to be doing anything after so long at rest :) I feel like I’ve had a holiday of sorts…. I’m refreshed, refocused and ready to kick ass on the next challenge. Join me for the ride!!

TFTD: “If you send out negative thoughts you attract negative results!”

Cheers P

Wednesday, 4th January 2006...

At last! I’ve uploaded the magazine article.

Check it out at my new photo page here. I’ll be removing the old page soon. I think the new format should work much faster for people. Let me know what you think.

Not much else to say today. We are taking Caleb to the cinema to see Chicken Little this afternoon. He’ll LOVE that! :)

TFTD: “Learn to think like a winner. Think positive and visualize your strengths!”

Cheers P

Tuesday, 3rd January 2006...

Ugh!

My first gym session of the New Year. BOY is it hard to get back into it after two weeks off! Simon took Caleb to daycare this morning and I headed off early to the gym to get it out of the way. As Simon is on holidays this week we are looking forward to the rare opportunity of a day to ourselves today so I wanted to be done with the exercise part of my day early.

I did about 70mins at the gym, which consisted of the following:

-40min weight loss program on treadmill level 8 -5min rowing machine -100 crunches (15 each side and 70 straight up)

-3 x 15 arm pull downs -3 x 15 arm pushdowns -stretching

I was actually getting a bit feint between the treadmill and the rower so I decided to stop the cardio and focus on some toning for the last half. By the time I left I was drenched in sweat but feeling good to be back on the bandwagon again.

My first weigh-in of the year will be next Tuesday. I don’t know what to expect by then. For now the scales are way up but I’m hoping to reduce the damage in the next week to a gain of maybe 1 or 2kg?? No idea if I’ll achieve that or not but it won’t matter. The weigh-in result will be the start weight of my next challenge and I’ll be off and away again from there.

The participants are flowing in for the challenge now…Welcome all and good luck with the 3 months ahead. I hope you all set small goals for yourself along the way and reward yourself with each achievement. :)

I’ve finally scanned the WHO magazine article. You can see it at my new photo page soon. Just give me 24hrs to complete the design etc of the new layout. :) Sorry! Not long now I promise!!

Now I must go and enjoy the day with my man *wink*

TFTD: “No one fails when they do their best!”

Cheers P

Monday, 2nd January 2006...

Happy 30th Birthday Julie!!!!

Well it’s the first Monday of 2006 and it’s back to program.

It sure is hard to get back on track again after nearly two weeks off. I feel bloated and my calves are tight with fluid...Yuck!! My body feels sore to touch all over and I think that’s all the toxins, fat, sugar and alcohol I’ve put into my body over the last two weeks!

It's good to have a reminder of how we used to feel all the time ... before I would not have noticed it... now it makes me want to be healthier. And with that goal in mind I knew the holiday had come to an end and it was back to work and ready to tackle the next 12-week challenge!

I left Simon sleep in this morning while I took Caleb out for a 40min bike ride. It really felt strange to be back to exercise after a week or more off but it felt good too.

My eating has swung right back into program again today. I’m counting points until at least Jan 8th then I may try out the new WW program ‘No Count’ to begin my next challenge with.

Speaking of which. Some people have asked for clarification so I thought I’d copy my explanation here of just what the challenge is about for those who do not know.

It's just a group effort to focus on healthy eating and exercise for a 12wk period.

I think having an end to a period of hard work makes it easier to give that extra bit along the way. I know it never really ends for us on this journey but if we break it into shorter periods (like 12wks) it seems less daunting overall?? At least to me anyway?

Follow whatever weight loss plan you already do. Do whatever exercise is right for you.

Just send me a screen name and your start weight taken as close to Jan 9th as possible. Then each week, on that same weigh day, send me your next weigh-in result (In Kg and with your screen name clearly listed). I post it to the web page here http://paulenesjournaljourney.homestead.com/WHO12wk.html and as a group we strive to do our best within the challenge time frame. It's a challenge against yourself - no one else!

I had an interesting chat with ‘L’ this week about how hard it is to share private fears and shames in such a public fashion as this. I have always felt fairly anonymous in my journal. A few real world people knew about it but as far as I knew they didn’t read the site. Now the website address is on the front page of the paper with my name and picture right there for everyone to see. The real me. Not the invisible Internet me. Eeek!

I know it may seem strange to block out my name and City from the newspaper article posted to this site…but I have to do what I can to protect my safety and that of my family.

In the meantime though lots of people I know now read this…. work friends…. old school friends…. not just the similarly minded fellow bloggers, but real world people who might scoff at or ridicule my secrets exposed. It’s shameful to have been 120kg. It’s horrible to know that my BMI was so high. It’s excruciating to look at those horrible before pics on my photo’s page. But to have potentially everyone I know read and see this …Aaargh!! I’d rather walk on hot coals! Yet I find myself here now…so exposed…and I feel surprisingly calm about it…. in a terrified yet resigned kind of way *wink*

I can’t take it back now…. the info is out there…. people will judge it as they may. Yes I was very f*cken fat! But now I’m just ‘normal fat’…. hehehehe *wink* I’ve worked damn hard to get to this point and I’ll continue to do so until I reach my goal. All of my goals!! Just you wait and see!

TFTD: “One week of neglect could mean one month of repair!” (But so be it I say!)

Cheers P

Sunday, 1st January 2006...

HAPPY, HAPPY NEW YEAR’S!!!!!!!!

Welcome to 2006 … and may it be the year for all of us to reach our goals… whatever they may be :)

Feeling oh so lousy this morning…Ugh! Me and half the country I guess – hehehe.

Had a big party at our house last night. Today is a mess of party poppers, half empty drinks and crap scattered from one end of our house to the other, under the patio and tarps where the party was held, in the back yard and even the pool is littered with toys, towels and clothing! But it can all wait for tomorrow. Caleb was enjoying the party until almost 10pm and treated us to a superb sleep in until 8am today…Joy!! We’d gone to sleep about 3am and actually woke ourselves at half seven so we are still sleep deprived but it would have been much worse had he woken at his usual 5.30am…Ugh I shudder to think!

Only Simon, Caleb, Scotty and I were left here this morning so it was a mass exodus from bed to pool first thing this morning. Nothing helps a hangover like a nice cool swim I can tell you!

Diet and exercise wise ... the last week has been a total disaster! I haven’t exercised since I got home from Christmas holidays. I have eaten tones of crap food and guzzled gallons of high sugar alcoholic drinks. The scales are WAY, WAY up!!! F*ck! Still, no use moaning about it all now. Today is the first day of a whole new year and I know that no matter what damage I may have done over the last week – nothing will stop me reaching my goal this year!

I can’t wait to be a 70’s girl (although for now I’d settle for the 80’s *wink*). I’m getting back into the swing of tracking, careful eating and lots of exercise as of tomorrow. Then next Monday I will begin the new 12-week online challenge.

I have already had a few people want to join up so today I will revamp the old challenge page to list the new participants names. If you have told me you are interested in the challenge but your name is not on the list please let me know so I can add you. Anyone else who is interested just drop me an email at paulenesjournaljourney@dodo.com.au with your screen name. Then by Jan 9th I need either your weight on that day or your most recent weigh-in result. Then each week just send me your weight on your weigh-in day and we’ll be away.

I’m sure many of you have New Year’s Resolution’s to lose weight this year and I look forward to working towards those goals together. I was talking to my mother in law last night about resolutions for this time of year. I was telling her that every new year for at least a decade I had felt like crap that another year had slipped by and instead of losing weight like I’d promised myself I would – I’d just got heavier. And every year I was full of intentions of what I would do to lose weight in the New Year. This year was different. It felt great knowing that I’d lost 20+kg in the last year and now I was close enough to make it to the finish line this year. It’s so much nicer to start the year with pride and anticipation instead of shame and recriminations :)

Speaking of shame *wink* THE MAGAZINE IS OUT!!!!

I am in the current edition of WHO WEEKLY magazine. It’s the special issue titled “Half their Size” and you can find me on page 35, and a quote on page 36. And it wasn’t too bad. Simon woke me with the magazine first thing Friday morning and I couldn’t get it open fast enough. The article was brief and the pics were not too bad so I’m a happy girl :) They didn’t mention the website which is a shame but not to worry. I’ll get the magazine article and pics scanned and posted to the website as soon as I can so that you can all see it. Stay tuned for that one…

If someone had told me that 2005 would see me on the front page of the newspaper and in a National magazine for having lost weight I would have laughed in your face. It’s been one hell of a year and now I am ready and able to make 2006 even better!!!

TFTD: “Let the New Year bring a new you!” and “No matter what my past has been, I can always begin anew!”

Cheers P